archive
pretty little corpse
im not dead. i swear.
my mom’s comp died. but im back now.
migraines have been getting worse, my schedule just got fucked, and as soon as i start sleeping well, i have to pull an all nighter. This week has sucked my ass.
Shadi, who oh-so-kindly told me that i was neither strong enough, nor forward enough for him (after telling me he was interested a week or two prior), made a vain attempt at comfort. Unfortunately, thats something he is incapable of, because he did the typical older-guy thing: tell me what to do. Which isnt cool. At all. he then proceded to place me into his little archetype, and then call me "baby"
which would be great if he hadnt’ve spent the last week ignoring me. Jerk.
I really need to stop posting about my stupid drama. I feel inane.
my mom’s comp died. but im back now.
migraines have been getting worse, my schedule just got fucked, and as soon as i start sleeping well, i have to pull an all nighter. This week has sucked my ass.
Shadi, who oh-so-kindly told me that i was neither strong enough, nor forward enough for him (after telling me he was interested a week or two prior), made a vain attempt at comfort. Unfortunately, thats something he is incapable of, because he did the typical older-guy thing: tell me what to do. Which isnt cool. At all. he then proceded to place me into his little archetype, and then call me "baby"
which would be great if he hadnt’ve spent the last week ignoring me. Jerk.
I really need to stop posting about my stupid drama. I feel inane.
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me vs. God
so there’s this girl, right?
and said girl is the most fascinating, brillaint, gorgeous girl i’ve ever met. said girl also has many flaws and is NOT perfect, which i also love.
Now, I have had a crush on this girl since we met. When she was going out with a friend of mine. Have not pursued girl even though girl and friend broke up a year ago out of respect for friend who was still carrying torch.
Was finally getting up the courage to do something about said crush for said girl when today, i read in her lj that she now has, yes, a new girlfriend.
I think God hates me. Not only can i not find any nice Russian Jewish Boys, the only nice Russian girl i know not only lives in Moscow, but now has a girlfriend.
I must have done something very bad in my former live(s) to deserve the miserable love life i now have. All the girls i like have girlfriends. An all the boys are gay.
*sigh*
and said girl is the most fascinating, brillaint, gorgeous girl i’ve ever met. said girl also has many flaws and is NOT perfect, which i also love.
Now, I have had a crush on this girl since we met. When she was going out with a friend of mine. Have not pursued girl even though girl and friend broke up a year ago out of respect for friend who was still carrying torch.
Was finally getting up the courage to do something about said crush for said girl when today, i read in her lj that she now has, yes, a new girlfriend.
I think God hates me. Not only can i not find any nice Russian Jewish Boys, the only nice Russian girl i know not only lives in Moscow, but now has a girlfriend.
I must have done something very bad in my former live(s) to deserve the miserable love life i now have. All the girls i like have girlfriends. An all the boys are gay.
*sigh*
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pain! ;_;
I am DIEING, bleeding to death via my ovaries, and having the worst cramps known to human kind. well, they arent that bad, but for me, i never get cramps or anything like that, and now i can barely MOVE. i now understand what my friend sinergi goes through once a month. i thank every god and goddess in existence that mine does not come so often. i am blessed with seasonly bleeding. [/TMI]
i have to babysit tomorrow, while everyone else runs off to crown event in San Bernadino, so that’ll be fun. [/bleargh]
Mason, hon, sorry i didnt leave a note! i leave one when i get the chance, i promise. my computer is extremely narcoleptic this week. So, hello nd kisses from here *mwa!~* thought youd be interested to know that Ozo is playing down in San Diego on Sept 5, and tickets to Street Scene (the festival they are playing at) are still available :D Next saturday i might be up in your area for long beach fair, i’ll call and let you know if i end up making the long horrible trip up *laugh* [/notes]
touches and gspots will be delivered soon
i have to babysit tomorrow, while everyone else runs off to crown event in San Bernadino, so that’ll be fun. [/bleargh]
Mason, hon, sorry i didnt leave a note! i leave one when i get the chance, i promise. my computer is extremely narcoleptic this week. So, hello nd kisses from here *mwa!~* thought youd be interested to know that Ozo is playing down in San Diego on Sept 5, and tickets to Street Scene (the festival they are playing at) are still available :D Next saturday i might be up in your area for long beach fair, i’ll call and let you know if i end up making the long horrible trip up *laugh* [/notes]
touches and gspots will be delivered soon
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you cant stop here! this is BAT COUNTRY!
spent the night at my friend Criss’s house, after going to see pirates for the third fourth fifth? time. Johnny depp is still sexy. *giggle* we stayed up until something like 4am drawing stick-figure l33t scenes from the movie. yes, we are, indeed, losers.
i talked with the backstabbing asshole, worked some stuff out with him even though for the most part i do not intend on being very close with him anymore, and discovered some stuff i already thought might be going on with some other friends. Really just in general i need to start hanging out with different people. i miss being able to trust people, even when i didnt want to trust anyone, i knew that i could. and now i want to trust, but few can be found to fit the bill.
by the way, Orange no Taiyou is a really really cool song. seriously. ironically, it’s a Gackt song, and the other song i like with the word ’taiyou’ in the title is "Taiyou no Ao" by Dir en Grey. there’s something ironic in that, i just cant figure out what. Oh well.
and for those of you that HAVENT seen my dear dear Chacha’s BLUE HAIR go here he’s got the blue hair. the one being molested by Gakkun. See, in my theory, each new tour, a new band member gets to be the hump-buddy. Chau is lucky, he gets this tour AND that last one XD
i talked with the backstabbing asshole, worked some stuff out with him even though for the most part i do not intend on being very close with him anymore, and discovered some stuff i already thought might be going on with some other friends. Really just in general i need to start hanging out with different people. i miss being able to trust people, even when i didnt want to trust anyone, i knew that i could. and now i want to trust, but few can be found to fit the bill.
by the way, Orange no Taiyou is a really really cool song. seriously. ironically, it’s a Gackt song, and the other song i like with the word ’taiyou’ in the title is "Taiyou no Ao" by Dir en Grey. there’s something ironic in that, i just cant figure out what. Oh well.
and for those of you that HAVENT seen my dear dear Chacha’s BLUE HAIR go here he’s got the blue hair. the one being molested by Gakkun. See, in my theory, each new tour, a new band member gets to be the hump-buddy. Chau is lucky, he gets this tour AND that last one XD
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Whores of Babylon
Fuck you, Mystic.
Fuck you, Pu.
Fuck you, Sabine.
you guys just think you are so fucking marvelously pristine and pure, dont you? Well you know what? You’re NOT perfect! You have flaws and you make mistakes just like i do. know why? becuase we’re HUMAN.
If youve got a problem with anything i do, ive done, fine, tell me to my fucking face. im sick of your STUPID childish high school games. But what i do is MY choice, and when it doesnt involve you, it doesnt involve you so just stay the fuck out of my business. you long ago gave up any right to be involved in it. So anythign that you heard about me, or heard that i did, dont just fucking jump to conclusions about me or what i did. cause you WERENT there, and you do NOT know what went on, or where im coming from. I dont pass judgement on all your fuck ups and mistakes, let alone the actions you make in good faith - dont do it to me. You are not god, the judge, jury, or executioner.
i am NOT the fucking whore of babylon, so quit treating me like it. I have NEVER treated you badly, never insulted you, never acted bad around you at all. you have NO reason to be treating me like shit.
so you know what, fuck you. i dont need your shit anymore. you wanna be a fucking asshole, you go right ahead. I’m over all your shit.
Fuck you, Pu.
Fuck you, Sabine.
you guys just think you are so fucking marvelously pristine and pure, dont you? Well you know what? You’re NOT perfect! You have flaws and you make mistakes just like i do. know why? becuase we’re HUMAN.
If youve got a problem with anything i do, ive done, fine, tell me to my fucking face. im sick of your STUPID childish high school games. But what i do is MY choice, and when it doesnt involve you, it doesnt involve you so just stay the fuck out of my business. you long ago gave up any right to be involved in it. So anythign that you heard about me, or heard that i did, dont just fucking jump to conclusions about me or what i did. cause you WERENT there, and you do NOT know what went on, or where im coming from. I dont pass judgement on all your fuck ups and mistakes, let alone the actions you make in good faith - dont do it to me. You are not god, the judge, jury, or executioner.
i am NOT the fucking whore of babylon, so quit treating me like it. I have NEVER treated you badly, never insulted you, never acted bad around you at all. you have NO reason to be treating me like shit.
so you know what, fuck you. i dont need your shit anymore. you wanna be a fucking asshole, you go right ahead. I’m over all your shit.
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HOT HOT SEX
just kidding =D
Sewing pants of joy. i want to add lace, but alas, i have none. suck.
Apparently, Bones was at Balboa Faire this weekend (i was not), and told melissa that he’s gonna stp doing faires for a while cause it’s too expensive.
Now. 1) BONES/THE DRUMMAN/WILLIAM THE ALCOHOLIC CAN NOT STOP DOING FAIRES. IT IS JUST WRONG. 2) that isnt cool cause i was planning to chill with him at ojai. 3) NOT COOL and 4) he gave his number to melissa and told her not to give it to me to make me jealous. funny, cause i HAVE his number. silly stoner.
So thats fun. AND MISCHA NEEDS TO NOT SHOW ME UP ON BIRTHDAY PRESENTS. BEST FRIENDS HAVE TO SHOW UP GIRLFRIENDS! its the brian rule, damnit.
blame the caps on Heesey. i was reading his diary on Heesey.com. all. his. fault.
Sewing pants of joy. i want to add lace, but alas, i have none. suck.
Apparently, Bones was at Balboa Faire this weekend (i was not), and told melissa that he’s gonna stp doing faires for a while cause it’s too expensive.
Now. 1) BONES/THE DRUMMAN/WILLIAM THE ALCOHOLIC CAN NOT STOP DOING FAIRES. IT IS JUST WRONG. 2) that isnt cool cause i was planning to chill with him at ojai. 3) NOT COOL and 4) he gave his number to melissa and told her not to give it to me to make me jealous. funny, cause i HAVE his number. silly stoner.
So thats fun. AND MISCHA NEEDS TO NOT SHOW ME UP ON BIRTHDAY PRESENTS. BEST FRIENDS HAVE TO SHOW UP GIRLFRIENDS! its the brian rule, damnit.
blame the caps on Heesey. i was reading his diary on Heesey.com. all. his. fault.
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poll results
33 % said Warwick Buzzard Bolt-On bass($2,399)
11 % said Warwick Thumb Bolt-On bass($1,899)
6 % said Ibanez SRX 300 bass
50 % said how about a job? loser
18 total votes.
well, 9 of you think i should get a job, JERKS. musicians dont HAVE jobs! *laugh* most of you said i should get the Buzzard, and 11% of you have the right idea and agree with me. 6% were cheap bastards, and i love that. XD
11 % said Warwick Thumb Bolt-On bass($1,899)
6 % said Ibanez SRX 300 bass
50 % said how about a job? loser
18 total votes.
well, 9 of you think i should get a job, JERKS. musicians dont HAVE jobs! *laugh* most of you said i should get the Buzzard, and 11% of you have the right idea and agree with me. 6% were cheap bastards, and i love that. XD
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bastards.
you know, ive been having this feeling, yknow.. like, my backs been hurting all week.
kinda like somebody just shoved a knife in it or something. Wierd, huh?
its nice to know youre loved. Stabbed in the back twice, by someone i considered my brother.
fucker.
kinda like somebody just shoved a knife in it or something. Wierd, huh?
its nice to know youre loved. Stabbed in the back twice, by someone i considered my brother.
fucker.
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STAY GREEN!
spent the day out in Winchester/Murrieta/Temecula with Medea, her brother and mother, and my mom. we looked at houses and stuff. < /daily report >
which brings me to the main point: I HATE HOT WEATHER. i cant wear my longsleeved black shirts which hide my scars, because it’s just too hot and humid. i cant wear my usual summer sweatshirts (i usually wear sweatshirts ALL summer) because its much hotter than usual, and i cant wear my heavy make-up. which is kinda nice, though, because, as alice said, it seems to be in fashion now, and that bugs me. Oh yes, and my hair gets SUPER POOFY. ah, and the jew-fro returns. damnit x_x i was wearing a very gauzy faire shirt today and i STILL died. whatever god in charge of the weather is mad, he better cheer up. i. want. cold. weather. i cant wear my trademark scarf in this heat! < /angsty whining >
you know what? im gonna go dig out my old Yellow Monkey CDs and rock out.
which brings me to the main point: I HATE HOT WEATHER. i cant wear my longsleeved black shirts which hide my scars, because it’s just too hot and humid. i cant wear my usual summer sweatshirts (i usually wear sweatshirts ALL summer) because its much hotter than usual, and i cant wear my heavy make-up. which is kinda nice, though, because, as alice said, it seems to be in fashion now, and that bugs me. Oh yes, and my hair gets SUPER POOFY. ah, and the jew-fro returns. damnit x_x i was wearing a very gauzy faire shirt today and i STILL died. whatever god in charge of the weather is mad, he better cheer up. i. want. cold. weather. i cant wear my trademark scarf in this heat! < /angsty whining >
you know what? im gonna go dig out my old Yellow Monkey CDs and rock out.
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the return trip
back from disneyland, whcih was very nice. And hot. but it rained in the evening yesterday and that was nice. wanting very much to be out of the house, out on the road, maybe go visit all of you, spend some time finding out what i really want out of life.
well, what i really want out of life is to be happy, and to make a lot of money and have a good education. right now, ill settle for being happy. i need to get out of the house again. i wonder if anyone wants to go hang out.
g-spots and touches will be delivered before tomorrow night, promise!
well, what i really want out of life is to be happy, and to make a lot of money and have a good education. right now, ill settle for being happy. i need to get out of the house again. i wonder if anyone wants to go hang out.
g-spots and touches will be delivered before tomorrow night, promise!
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Paradise City (where the grass is green and the girls are pretty)
tomorrow morning, at some ungodly early hour that should not exist, i leave for the great plastic north (the Orange County/LA area), to go be swallowed by the pits of hell. Yes, that’s right folks. Disneyland. I’ll be back on monday(ish).
weekend soundtrack: Guns N Roses "Paradise City", Dead or Alive "Brand New Lover", Hot Hot Heat "Bandages", Oasis "Stop Crying your heart Out", Irish Rpvers "Blow The Man Down", and Catatonia "Strange Glue".
if you havent heard Catatonia, you really must. "Mulder and Scully" being one of my personal favourites.
and to close, i nabbed the following from sukachan, and similarly, no surprises here:
weekend soundtrack: Guns N Roses "Paradise City", Dead or Alive "Brand New Lover", Hot Hot Heat "Bandages", Oasis "Stop Crying your heart Out", Irish Rpvers "Blow The Man Down", and Catatonia "Strange Glue".
if you havent heard Catatonia, you really must. "Mulder and Scully" being one of my personal favourites.
and to close, i nabbed the following from sukachan, and similarly, no surprises here:
| |||||||||||||||
| What does my romance meter read? | |||||||||||||||
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updates on today
Thanks to sukachan, lacedlacuna, and belladonna. As well as Chrissy, Mako, and Michi who dont have Melo’s. Youre support REALLY helped and the good karma i wish for you is through the roof (the spiritual kind, AND the melo kind!) you people are life savers and i love you *worships*
i told my mum that i ran into my friend Mike at the mall, and he smokes (really, he does!), and he had no pocxkets and asked me to hold his cigs for a moment and then forgot to ask for them back and i forgot about ’em. she bought it, thank god. *can breathe again!*
and would a bottle of advil really make my ears bleed? ive never had that happen. of course, i usually start puking after 20 pills, so i dunno.
i told my mum that i ran into my friend Mike at the mall, and he smokes (really, he does!), and he had no pocxkets and asked me to hold his cigs for a moment and then forgot to ask for them back and i forgot about ’em. she bought it, thank god. *can breathe again!*
and would a bottle of advil really make my ears bleed? ive never had that happen. of course, i usually start puking after 20 pills, so i dunno.
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Less singing, more sailing!
Does _anyone_ want to explain to me the end of today’s General Hospital? i mean, seriously. the end got trippy. and i’ve had my fair share of trips.
my day can be summerized as thus: Cut-throat Morrigan, George, and Scurvy (the rat). Big Feathered Hats. All My Children, One Life to Live, General Hospital. Big Feathered Hats. Beretta. D-Eagle (without an extra clip, sadly). Discussion of possibility of an Israeli Assault Rifle under my parent’s bed. cannot prove it as case, which is beleived to contain said rifle, is locked, and the key is on my father’s person in Washington, and we are not only forbidden from opening said case at any point EVER, but am pretty sure we are not supposed to know they even keep said case (and i used to think it was my mother’s xylophone case! silly me!). Silly Gaku ramblings. Big Feathered Hats. Faire music. Conan *_*. Big Feathered Hats.
um......why the fuck is a song from The Curse of Monkey Island playing?!?!?!?!??!?!! o____o
on a side note: i want to be Mary Read.
my day can be summerized as thus: Cut-throat Morrigan, George, and Scurvy (the rat). Big Feathered Hats. All My Children, One Life to Live, General Hospital. Big Feathered Hats. Beretta. D-Eagle (without an extra clip, sadly). Discussion of possibility of an Israeli Assault Rifle under my parent’s bed. cannot prove it as case, which is beleived to contain said rifle, is locked, and the key is on my father’s person in Washington, and we are not only forbidden from opening said case at any point EVER, but am pretty sure we are not supposed to know they even keep said case (and i used to think it was my mother’s xylophone case! silly me!). Silly Gaku ramblings. Big Feathered Hats. Faire music. Conan *_*. Big Feathered Hats.
um......why the fuck is a song from The Curse of Monkey Island playing?!?!?!?!??!?!! o____o
on a side note: i want to be Mary Read.
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HAHA I WISH
Anne’s going to sleep around to get me a LEATHER BODICE! WOOHOO!!!
What it takes to get to know the right people...
What it takes to get to know the right people...
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An Idiot’s Guide To Sex
this made me so, SO sad.
JamesTheKid2003: anya i need adivce real quick
JamesTheKid2003: u there?
GuitarGodChacha: yeah
JamesTheKid2003: ok my girls on here way over right now and
JamesTheKid2003: were going to do this for the first time
GuitarGodChacha: k
JamesTheKid2003: it not weird to masterbait in front of each other
JamesTheKid2003: or help
JamesTheKid2003: right
JamesTheKid2003: caz we both do wanna really do it for at least 4 more months
JamesTheKid2003: well do u have any tips?
GuitarGodChacha: no its not weird
JamesTheKid2003: ok good
JamesTheKid2003: and what advice do u have
JamesTheKid2003: hurry hury
JamesTheKid2003: lol
GuitarGodChacha: do what she wants
JamesTheKid2003: she’ll be here in about 3 min.
JamesTheKid2003: well is there anything else that would make it more interesting?
GuitarGodChacha: and make sure you find the clit
GuitarGodChacha: and bite her neck, but gently
JamesTheKid2003: ok good thing u mentioned it
GuitarGodChacha: and um...
JamesTheKid2003: ok ok where is it again
JamesTheKid2003: it pops up or what?
GuitarGodChacha: ITS RIGHT THERE
JamesTheKid2003: ok
GuitarGodChacha: its SO easy
JamesTheKid2003: is it like a small flap of skin?
JamesTheKid2003: ok ok
GuitarGodChacha: yes, dumbass
JamesTheKid2003: maybe iv seen it but just didnt know i did
GuitarGodChacha: WHY ARE MEN SO STUPID
JamesTheKid2003: ok and is it really senitive?
JamesTheKid2003: i dont know
JamesTheKid2003: if were so dumb then how do u expect me to know?
GuitarGodChacha: its about as 3 times as sensitive as the penis
GuitarGodChacha: ....dont...make....me.....strangle...you
JamesTheKid2003: and what do i do rub it or pinch it?
GuitarGodChacha: both
JamesTheKid2003: yaya
GuitarGodChacha: and flick it (but not too much)
JamesTheKid2003: whats taking her!!!!!!
GuitarGodChacha: if youre patient you might
JamesTheKid2003: if it comes to sex
GuitarGodChacha: :D
JamesTheKid2003: if she cums will it hurt my penis?
GuitarGodChacha: .......no
GuitarGodChacha: if anything it will feel good
JamesTheKid2003: is it alot or what
GuitarGodChacha: a lot of what?
JamesTheKid2003: i dont wanna clean my carpet
JamesTheKid2003: of cum
JamesTheKid2003: do girls cum alot?
GuitarGodChacha: chicks dont cum like guys
GuitarGodChacha: (in fact she probably wont cum)
JamesTheKid2003: does it run down?
JamesTheKid2003: we’ll see
JamesTheKid2003: lol
GuitarGodChacha: it depends on how good you are
JamesTheKid2003: anya i need adivce real quick
JamesTheKid2003: u there?
GuitarGodChacha: yeah
JamesTheKid2003: ok my girls on here way over right now and
JamesTheKid2003: were going to do this for the first time
GuitarGodChacha: k
JamesTheKid2003: it not weird to masterbait in front of each other
JamesTheKid2003: or help
JamesTheKid2003: right
JamesTheKid2003: caz we both do wanna really do it for at least 4 more months
JamesTheKid2003: well do u have any tips?
GuitarGodChacha: no its not weird
JamesTheKid2003: ok good
JamesTheKid2003: and what advice do u have
JamesTheKid2003: hurry hury
JamesTheKid2003: lol
GuitarGodChacha: do what she wants
JamesTheKid2003: she’ll be here in about 3 min.
JamesTheKid2003: well is there anything else that would make it more interesting?
GuitarGodChacha: and make sure you find the clit
GuitarGodChacha: and bite her neck, but gently
JamesTheKid2003: ok good thing u mentioned it
GuitarGodChacha: and um...
JamesTheKid2003: ok ok where is it again
JamesTheKid2003: it pops up or what?
GuitarGodChacha: ITS RIGHT THERE
JamesTheKid2003: ok
GuitarGodChacha: its SO easy
JamesTheKid2003: is it like a small flap of skin?
JamesTheKid2003: ok ok
GuitarGodChacha: yes, dumbass
JamesTheKid2003: maybe iv seen it but just didnt know i did
GuitarGodChacha: WHY ARE MEN SO STUPID
JamesTheKid2003: ok and is it really senitive?
JamesTheKid2003: i dont know
JamesTheKid2003: if were so dumb then how do u expect me to know?
GuitarGodChacha: its about as 3 times as sensitive as the penis
GuitarGodChacha: ....dont...make....me.....strangle...you
JamesTheKid2003: and what do i do rub it or pinch it?
GuitarGodChacha: both
JamesTheKid2003: yaya
GuitarGodChacha: and flick it (but not too much)
JamesTheKid2003: whats taking her!!!!!!
GuitarGodChacha: if youre patient you might
JamesTheKid2003: if it comes to sex
GuitarGodChacha: :D
JamesTheKid2003: if she cums will it hurt my penis?
GuitarGodChacha: .......no
GuitarGodChacha: if anything it will feel good
JamesTheKid2003: is it alot or what
GuitarGodChacha: a lot of what?
JamesTheKid2003: i dont wanna clean my carpet
JamesTheKid2003: of cum
JamesTheKid2003: do girls cum alot?
GuitarGodChacha: chicks dont cum like guys
GuitarGodChacha: (in fact she probably wont cum)
JamesTheKid2003: does it run down?
JamesTheKid2003: we’ll see
JamesTheKid2003: lol
GuitarGodChacha: it depends on how good you are
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slit my goddamn throat
Right. So im the bad guy again, because im sick of putting up with your stupid nonsensical requests. I’m the bad guy, because im theonly one in this whole fucking house with the balls to tell her to shut the fuck up because the whole damn neighborhood can hear her fucking screaming, and its embarassing. Of course, she doesnt give a damn, and IM the bad guy, cause ive just made it worse.
excuse me for having the fucking balls none of the rest of you have - go on indulging the bitch. she can fuck off for all i care.
you can keep on blaming me for everything and throwing your stupid temper tantrums because I DONT CARE. So there.
and all i wanted this fucking week was to go to the goddamn motherfucking reggae festival at the beach, and of course, every single ounce of plans i make get ripped to bloody shreds because everyone’s got to trollop off to comic-con and leave me and forget about our plans, because obviously, im not important in the slightest.
im feeling absolutely fat, made worse by the fact that everyone else is shedding pounds and kilos and having just the jolliest damn time working out together and going to the gym. so fat little me is gonna sit down and resign myself to a big bowl of pudding and fishsticks. keep your skinniness.
well fuck me, okay? im grumpy and im gonna keep on being grumpy. this week has sucked.
excuse me for having the fucking balls none of the rest of you have - go on indulging the bitch. she can fuck off for all i care.
you can keep on blaming me for everything and throwing your stupid temper tantrums because I DONT CARE. So there.
and all i wanted this fucking week was to go to the goddamn motherfucking reggae festival at the beach, and of course, every single ounce of plans i make get ripped to bloody shreds because everyone’s got to trollop off to comic-con and leave me and forget about our plans, because obviously, im not important in the slightest.
im feeling absolutely fat, made worse by the fact that everyone else is shedding pounds and kilos and having just the jolliest damn time working out together and going to the gym. so fat little me is gonna sit down and resign myself to a big bowl of pudding and fishsticks. keep your skinniness.
well fuck me, okay? im grumpy and im gonna keep on being grumpy. this week has sucked.
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Melting Time
its past midnight and its stil about 70 degrees. plus humidity. now, i’ll admi im pathetic, and despite my obscene east-coast-ness, ive lived here in california for a very long time. im used to hot dry summers with cold nights. it should noty be hot and muggy all night and all day in SAN DIEGO. in new york or virginia or georgia - sure. not california. So i guess that means sleeping in the buff again. not that any of you wanted to know that, im sure.
Does anyone remember The Dead Poet’s Society? i recently watched it again and found some nice DPS slash online. good stuff.
i must be horny, cause im looking up new slash-fics. i need a boyfriend.
Does anyone remember The Dead Poet’s Society? i recently watched it again and found some nice DPS slash online. good stuff.
i must be horny, cause im looking up new slash-fics. i need a boyfriend.
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the one with the boxes
packing, packing, packing, for a move that been planned since i was six, but never seems to happen. every year its the same. "dont make any long terms plans, we may not be here."
this time, i feel a change in the wind. and i think, if my mother gets out of this slump, and my dad does too, we’ll be out of this hellish money pit. mums applying in Fontana, which i hope she gets. i have to get on her ass about the application though, she cant do anything unless someone’s there to helo her, it seems. She’s just too depressed to get much work done. ive been elected to help her out of it.
so she’s off having lunch with Susan right now. im gonna head off to the beach (and its RAINING here nonetheless. i wanna go to the beach anyways.) or the lake, and just sit, maybe convince a friend to get me a beer, and smoke.
i like smoking in the rain. it’s just...its soothing. we need a bit of soothing.
but we’re going to pack first. just shoving everything in boxes, really. we’ll weed through the actual contents later.
this time, i feel a change in the wind. and i think, if my mother gets out of this slump, and my dad does too, we’ll be out of this hellish money pit. mums applying in Fontana, which i hope she gets. i have to get on her ass about the application though, she cant do anything unless someone’s there to helo her, it seems. She’s just too depressed to get much work done. ive been elected to help her out of it.
so she’s off having lunch with Susan right now. im gonna head off to the beach (and its RAINING here nonetheless. i wanna go to the beach anyways.) or the lake, and just sit, maybe convince a friend to get me a beer, and smoke.
i like smoking in the rain. it’s just...its soothing. we need a bit of soothing.
but we’re going to pack first. just shoving everything in boxes, really. we’ll weed through the actual contents later.
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the one where im a vindictive bitch
so that girl david went to go see that wasnt his gf, the one in Virginia? it WAS his girlfriend (didnt tell me and kept hitting on me, go figure. ASSHOLE.)
And they broke up.
hahahahaha serves him right.
i feel vindicated *^^*
oh jesus, and now he’s trying to ask me out again. AHAHAHA- no. "you need someone grounded!" no, i need someone who isnt boring, who doesnt bullshit to me, and can satisfy me - and lets not forget come see me every now and then. Punkass.
alright, who wants to be my boyfriend and make the poor ass jealous? (obviously not the only reason i want a boyfriend.. but hey, yknow. its an excuse to ask). leave enquiries below~~
And they broke up.
hahahahaha serves him right.
i feel vindicated *^^*
oh jesus, and now he’s trying to ask me out again. AHAHAHA- no. "you need someone grounded!" no, i need someone who isnt boring, who doesnt bullshit to me, and can satisfy me - and lets not forget come see me every now and then. Punkass.
alright, who wants to be my boyfriend and make the poor ass jealous? (obviously not the only reason i want a boyfriend.. but hey, yknow. its an excuse to ask). leave enquiries below~~
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when your sailing days are over
this is still the most romantic song in all of existance. second only to Black Velvet Band *sigh*
A Walk In The Irish Rain
When the sun goes down o’er Dublin town
The colors last for hours, oh
The lights come on, the night’s a song
And the streets all turn to gold.
A gentle mist all heaven kissed
Like teardrops off an angel’s wing
Don’t you know you’ll cleanse your soul
With a walk in the Irish rain.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
Forever more I’ve stepped ashore
My sailing days are over, oh
Through time and tide and by your side
Together we’ll grow old.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
I threw my sea bag in the bin
And brought these pretty flowers home
Kiss me Kate, we’ll celebrate
Before the bloom is gone.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
A tinker and a tailor and a drunken old sailor
They all get together and they start to play
Time stands still while they sing their fill
They’ll shout ’til the break of day.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
A sweet little lady with a glass of stout
Sippin’ it down ’til the foam runs out
She’ll help her old man home again
With a walk in the Irish rain.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
A Walk In The Irish Rain
When the sun goes down o’er Dublin town
The colors last for hours, oh
The lights come on, the night’s a song
And the streets all turn to gold.
A gentle mist all heaven kissed
Like teardrops off an angel’s wing
Don’t you know you’ll cleanse your soul
With a walk in the Irish rain.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
Forever more I’ve stepped ashore
My sailing days are over, oh
Through time and tide and by your side
Together we’ll grow old.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
I threw my sea bag in the bin
And brought these pretty flowers home
Kiss me Kate, we’ll celebrate
Before the bloom is gone.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
A tinker and a tailor and a drunken old sailor
They all get together and they start to play
Time stands still while they sing their fill
They’ll shout ’til the break of day.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
A sweet little lady with a glass of stout
Sippin’ it down ’til the foam runs out
She’ll help her old man home again
With a walk in the Irish rain.
Oh, Katherine, take my hand
I’ve got three pounds and change
And I’ll sing you songs of love again
And when I get too drunk to sing
We’ll walk in the Irish rain.
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kaikyaku
it seemed so simple at the time
your place or mine
while we still have the time
we never had the time
caught in a summer storm
just someone to do
on a saturday night
from london to berlin
and all the pints between
restless and listless
like a vagabond without a coat
and though it was just that once
but i cant erase your eyes from my head
is this all for your sake?
you could take or leave it
and im always left in the dust
stop doing it
you keep doing it
to me
and we just keep dancing around it
this strange half-waltz-tango
if only i were the slut
you seem to think i am
this would be easier,
less ill at ease
just a shy girl in a short skirt
and we’re dancing around
in this summer storm
and you’ll be gone again
back on the road without a word again
spread legs and broken promises
--07/13.03
your place or mine
while we still have the time
we never had the time
caught in a summer storm
just someone to do
on a saturday night
from london to berlin
and all the pints between
restless and listless
like a vagabond without a coat
and though it was just that once
but i cant erase your eyes from my head
is this all for your sake?
you could take or leave it
and im always left in the dust
stop doing it
you keep doing it
to me
and we just keep dancing around it
this strange half-waltz-tango
if only i were the slut
you seem to think i am
this would be easier,
less ill at ease
just a shy girl in a short skirt
and we’re dancing around
in this summer storm
and you’ll be gone again
back on the road without a word again
spread legs and broken promises
--07/13.03
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the one where i eat eel
went babysitting, made a good amount of 27.15$ and got my AP US History scores - i got a three! i PASSED!
so me and my mom went out for celebratory sushi. mm...unagi rolls..*purrrrrr*
im going to see pirates of the carribean tomorrow (im a bnig pirate-phile, as most of you know, and im also a big Johnny Depp fan. cant go wrong there!); was gonna go with kim/nora/spencer, but i dunno if kim still can go tomorrow. people need to CALL me, suckas!
hm. sukachan called me evil. as if THAT werent obvious! X3
so me and my mom went out for celebratory sushi. mm...unagi rolls..*purrrrrr*
im going to see pirates of the carribean tomorrow (im a bnig pirate-phile, as most of you know, and im also a big Johnny Depp fan. cant go wrong there!); was gonna go with kim/nora/spencer, but i dunno if kim still can go tomorrow. people need to CALL me, suckas!
hm. sukachan called me evil. as if THAT werent obvious! X3
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the one with the survey
Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is
concerned that it may not get a second term.
Therefore, we are going to change the rules so
that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2
votes because Democrat is a shorter word than
Republican
What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I got this quiz from
More about me
Chapter 1
..:Name- Anna, but i go by Anya.
..:Birthdate- December 25
..:Birthplace- Anne Arundel, MD
..:Current location- San Diego
..:Hair color- Brown
..:Righty or lefty- righty in writing, lefty in painting/cooking/politics
..:Zodiac sign- Capricorn with a Pisces rising and a gemini moon. *into that sort of thing*
..:Chinese sign- Ox (youd be surprised, mika-chan! its very like you! and me too)
Chapter 2
..:Your heritage- Jewish through and through (Rumanian, Latvian, Russian, germanic, slavic)
..:The shoes you wore today- Black Flip-flops
..:Your hair- long-ish and curly-wavy-poufy
..:Your eyes- brown and purple
..:Your weakness-
..:Your fears- staying in one place too long, failure, needles
..:Your perfect pizza- I
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the one with bondage (or: i’m not one to talk)
note to self: never volunteer get whipped on the inside of your thigh. leaves large welt and hurts MUCHLY.
am reminded why *I* am a dom!girl. *tsks* masochists. u.u
am reminded why *I* am a dom!girl. *tsks* masochists. u.u
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the one where im not even buzzed.
i had:
2 shots of bacardi 151
1 sunset
2 smoothies (5 shots of rum/fruit punch concentrate/cranberry juice - serves 5 SMALL cups; the second smoothie was a higher concentrate though)
1 gin and juice
also, 1/3 of a pizza and some orange soda. whoo i’m a pig
*huggles and kisses to Belladonna and Sukachan <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
also, 1/3 of a pizza and some orange soda. whoo i’m a pig
*huggles and kisses to Belladonna and Sukachan <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
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the one with the binge
the feeling of guilt is nonexistant when i dont eat, like some temporary anorexia thats a flashback from my youth followed by this sick twist of not being hungry at all and eating more than my fill and though my stomach is full just another bite another bite and only when im eating or im hungry i get this sick feeling that nothings okay and everythings wrong and that fat at my stomach has gotten far out of hand and its jiggling and wiggling and my thighs are just fine its the gut that gets me and i cant seem to stop such a vicious cycle i need to purge my brain of all these stupid thoughts cycular insanity gonna stop putting my body into this feast or famine mode gotta stop stop stop stop stop
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the one with my "offensive" politics
The Patriot Act pisses me off.
So does Micheal Moore, which you probably wouldnt expect, me being a liberal and all, but really, i dont like him. You know why? he’s just like Rush Limbaugh.
oh yeah. And im also the only pro-NRA liberal alive. eat me.
but anya, how could a liberal be pro-nra? BECAUSE ITS PROTECTED BY THE CONSTITUTION THATS WHY. i support the right to bear arms just as vehemently as the right to free speech, and MY right to vote. so bugger off.
but seriously, im very proud of the supreme court this week. hear that guys? not only is sodomy legal in texas now, but same-gender sex is now legal EVERYWHERE. queers: 1, anti-gays: 0. er, or something like that. Now, to work on reversing that law prohibiting same-sex marriages in almost every state, to fix the laws in south carolina saying that the only legal way to have sex is missionary position between a man and woman (which i never liked anyway. im on top, bitch!), and getting rid of Grey Davis and putting in someone who wont fuck over the economy (although i havent any idea who to replace him with, so THAT plan goes on hold. See Mr. Bush? you need to be ready to put someone in power BEFORE you topple a regime! Silly Republicans, power vacuums are for the Russians!* oh, wait. cancel that and make it post-cold war friendly. my bad.)
by the way, ExCommuniate.Net is a great place. so is e-sheep.com check out Rush Limbaugh eating the world, as well as a great Saturnalia comic for all you pagans out there.
on a complettely unrelated side-note: this guy is brilliant. witchcraft isnt fluffy bunny stuff. its got a major dark side to it, and while many consider ecclectic wicca to be wicca - it’s paganism, not wicca. Wicca is a 50 year old religion created by a fellow named Gardner, not the oldest religion in the world blah blah blah. stupid people piss me off. being uninformed about your own opinions is worse than judging others on their well-informed opinions. if your going to be ignorant about other people, fine, just dont be ignorant about the things YOU supposedly beleive in.
*no dissrespect to the liberals (in general) intended. or the republicans, fort the most part. all of our leaders needa bit of help over in the capitol. dissrespect intended to rush limbaugh, michael moore, george w. bush, rednecks, and neonazis. i dissapprove of you heartily (never the less, i shall fight for your constitutional rights, because you have as much of a right to voice your opinion as i do.)
PS - oddly enough, this was written while i was in a spectacularly fantastic mood. im gonna go play video games and eat M&Ms now. toodles! ^_^
So does Micheal Moore, which you probably wouldnt expect, me being a liberal and all, but really, i dont like him. You know why? he’s just like Rush Limbaugh.
oh yeah. And im also the only pro-NRA liberal alive. eat me.
but anya, how could a liberal be pro-nra? BECAUSE ITS PROTECTED BY THE CONSTITUTION THATS WHY. i support the right to bear arms just as vehemently as the right to free speech, and MY right to vote. so bugger off.
but seriously, im very proud of the supreme court this week. hear that guys? not only is sodomy legal in texas now, but same-gender sex is now legal EVERYWHERE. queers: 1, anti-gays: 0. er, or something like that. Now, to work on reversing that law prohibiting same-sex marriages in almost every state, to fix the laws in south carolina saying that the only legal way to have sex is missionary position between a man and woman (which i never liked anyway. im on top, bitch!), and getting rid of Grey Davis and putting in someone who wont fuck over the economy (although i havent any idea who to replace him with, so THAT plan goes on hold. See Mr. Bush? you need to be ready to put someone in power BEFORE you topple a regime! Silly Republicans, power vacuums are for the Russians!* oh, wait. cancel that and make it post-cold war friendly. my bad.)
by the way, ExCommuniate.Net is a great place. so is e-sheep.com check out Rush Limbaugh eating the world, as well as a great Saturnalia comic for all you pagans out there.
on a complettely unrelated side-note: this guy is brilliant. witchcraft isnt fluffy bunny stuff. its got a major dark side to it, and while many consider ecclectic wicca to be wicca - it’s paganism, not wicca. Wicca is a 50 year old religion created by a fellow named Gardner, not the oldest religion in the world blah blah blah. stupid people piss me off. being uninformed about your own opinions is worse than judging others on their well-informed opinions. if your going to be ignorant about other people, fine, just dont be ignorant about the things YOU supposedly beleive in.
*no dissrespect to the liberals (in general) intended. or the republicans, fort the most part. all of our leaders needa bit of help over in the capitol. dissrespect intended to rush limbaugh, michael moore, george w. bush, rednecks, and neonazis. i dissapprove of you heartily (never the less, i shall fight for your constitutional rights, because you have as much of a right to voice your opinion as i do.)
PS - oddly enough, this was written while i was in a spectacularly fantastic mood. im gonna go play video games and eat M&Ms now. toodles! ^_^
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the one where i dig out my Red Wings jersey
for those of you that do not know, which is probably a good deal of you, i am a HUGE hockey fan. I blame this all on my cousins from montreal, namely Lucas even though he likes baseball better.
not that im particularly sporty or anything. im not. always have and always will be decidedly un-sporty. i just love love love hockey.
and i just found out this morning, while dripping wet and clutching my towel (having come straight out of the shower), that Dominik Hasek is back, and playing for the Detroit Red Wings.
purrrrrrrrrrr~~~ <3*______________*
Hasek is one of my favourite goalies. im very glad to know he’s back from retirement(at 38! tsk!) and the Czech Republik.
squee.
not that im particularly sporty or anything. im not. always have and always will be decidedly un-sporty. i just love love love hockey.
and i just found out this morning, while dripping wet and clutching my towel (having come straight out of the shower), that Dominik Hasek is back, and playing for the Detroit Red Wings.
purrrrrrrrrrr~~~ <3*______________*
Hasek is one of my favourite goalies. im very glad to know he’s back from retirement(at 38! tsk!) and the Czech Republik.
squee.
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the one with the lesbian
See, im fine *DURING* Con, if im not there. It means no-one’s here to tell me what i missed. but now con’s over, im getting the con reports most unwillingly, and finding out what ive missed.
i missed Cybelle in her most gorgeous glory, decked on in 7 layers of vinyl in the hot sun with a ZIPPER. but im not obsessive.
really, im not.
I missed Dual Jewel, whom i was excited to see, because, honestly, how often will you find a decent jrock band playing a live close to home when you live in california?
So, reading Tati’s con report has comletely and utterly depressed me. i was perfectly FINE before that. well, not really, but i was better.
In other news, i’m fairly sure my mother is aware of my sexual leanings. Now, she’s hinted at it - she’s always asking me "what side im on" and all that - which i always avoid by going into a political rant about social and political equality for all peoples, which always gets her to shut up, because im very political, and she cant say shit cause she knows im right. And also, she caught me and my ex-g/f naked in bed once, right after we’d.er...y’know, but we had the covers pulled up. We made a lame ass excuse about the heat, but im not sure she bought it. also, her bedroom is next too mine, and, although im VERY quiet in bed - and almost every girl ive been with (except one) has been the same.......................you never know. and today, she said something implying she’d overheard more than i ever EVER want her to know.
It’s not that im not open about it. It’s that if she did know, it would mean a lot of bad things for me.... my mom doesnt hate gays or anything, or at least she pretends that way, but i distinctly remember her saying once she’d disown us if any of us kids were. She supposedly falls into the category of "what they do in their own homes is fine, so long as its behind closed doors.". *sigh* id LOVE, love to be open with her about this, but she wouldnt understand and shed certaintly never approve. It doesnt help that as far as she’s concerned, im too young to watch sex in movies and that i shouldnt be concerned with boys at my age. Funny, she was urging my sister to have a boyfriend at 17. Me? I "dress like a hooker" she actually said that. i do NOT dress that skankily.. im really fairly conservative, given recent style trends. And i mean, shit, ive got fucking huge tits, not like i can hide THOSE easily.
it could be worse. she could find out about any number of my ex-boyfriends, stuff i’ve done at faires, stuff i did in junior high..really, in the grand scheme of things, her knowing i’ve had sex with a few girls (or that im attracted to girls) isnt that bad on the richter scale...but....
i dont want her to know me. we’ve never been close, she’s never known anything about me or my life, and i want it to stay that way. my sex life is NOT her goddamned business.
i missed Cybelle in her most gorgeous glory, decked on in 7 layers of vinyl in the hot sun with a ZIPPER. but im not obsessive.
really, im not.
I missed Dual Jewel, whom i was excited to see, because, honestly, how often will you find a decent jrock band playing a live close to home when you live in california?
So, reading Tati’s con report has comletely and utterly depressed me. i was perfectly FINE before that. well, not really, but i was better.
In other news, i’m fairly sure my mother is aware of my sexual leanings. Now, she’s hinted at it - she’s always asking me "what side im on" and all that - which i always avoid by going into a political rant about social and political equality for all peoples, which always gets her to shut up, because im very political, and she cant say shit cause she knows im right. And also, she caught me and my ex-g/f naked in bed once, right after we’d.er...y’know, but we had the covers pulled up. We made a lame ass excuse about the heat, but im not sure she bought it. also, her bedroom is next too mine, and, although im VERY quiet in bed - and almost every girl ive been with (except one) has been the same.......................you never know. and today, she said something implying she’d overheard more than i ever EVER want her to know.
It’s not that im not open about it. It’s that if she did know, it would mean a lot of bad things for me.... my mom doesnt hate gays or anything, or at least she pretends that way, but i distinctly remember her saying once she’d disown us if any of us kids were. She supposedly falls into the category of "what they do in their own homes is fine, so long as its behind closed doors.". *sigh* id LOVE, love to be open with her about this, but she wouldnt understand and shed certaintly never approve. It doesnt help that as far as she’s concerned, im too young to watch sex in movies and that i shouldnt be concerned with boys at my age. Funny, she was urging my sister to have a boyfriend at 17. Me? I "dress like a hooker" she actually said that. i do NOT dress that skankily.. im really fairly conservative, given recent style trends. And i mean, shit, ive got fucking huge tits, not like i can hide THOSE easily.
it could be worse. she could find out about any number of my ex-boyfriends, stuff i’ve done at faires, stuff i did in junior high..really, in the grand scheme of things, her knowing i’ve had sex with a few girls (or that im attracted to girls) isnt that bad on the richter scale...but....
i dont want her to know me. we’ve never been close, she’s never known anything about me or my life, and i want it to stay that way. my sex life is NOT her goddamned business.
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