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The Act of Being Cool...and me being irritated
But I guess being vegetarian is trendy now. Don’t get me wrong...I think it’s great for people to not eat meat and the such... it goes with my beliefs. But it’s irritating seeing all these people that try to be different and follow their friends by declaring themselves vegetarians.
I do suppose that goes for everything though... writing poetry, listening to underground music, wearing certain clothes, being an artist... > they all have become popular to the extent where I question myself if I am just following the crowd as well. But some of these things I have done my entire life, so I feel pretty secure about them being personal to me.
I’m not sure what it is... all I know is that I would be a lot happier with the world if people were themselves and didn’t try so hard to be different.
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with the worst intentions...however, it just didn’t quite work. So lets smile
In government I was all talking to these people that were sitting by me. It was pretty cool, since I usually don’t talk to them. And then in photography, I told the interesting looking kid that I liked his hair. Oh, and then I went to go get another ID card made. haha I wanted to do something dumb in it, but they kept taking it over again because they said it had to look "normal". whatever that means...it came out look funny anyways. Thennnn....... in astronomy I was just normal- but I am always talkative in that class anyways so it dosn’t matter.
And then (lllllaaaaaa) came lunch. It was indeed quite awesome, for me at least. Me and Cindy went to the vending machine, although there was a purpose behind that, and on the way back we just sat at this newly added little table with Joe, Gary, Elio, and this kid Steve. It was cool cuz I never would just go up to people and hang out with them, but Cinday is really outgoing and confident and the such, so she made me. It was cool though, I had fun. Also, when the bell rang, I had to go to Fagen’s to make up a quiz and I walked with Elizebeth, who I havn’t talked to in like, forever. So I think I did pretty well today.
Last night at work was good too. I talked to this girl Jenna who is really funny, and then of course Jeremiah and Ricky were there too, so it was fun.
The ironic thing is that I am still going to a therepist today....weird.
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oh well thats lovely
So now that the journey’s
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Is your goodness somewhere between the sinking and the orbiting
I bought this book that teaches you the Arabic alphabet, and I am determined to learn the language. It seems pretty hard, but it would be awesome to be a international journalist, so I gotta start learning languages. I also bought Anil’s Ghost and I love it. It’s by the same guy that wrote The English Patient. Man I honestly love Barne’s and Noble. I got an application and right now my main thoughts are focused on the decsision of whether to stay at albertson’s or consider a job at B&N.
I am being very neautral lately... very nonchalant. I think I like it. I just kinda am here...floating around and the such. I’m not really trying. I mean I am at the stuff that matters; school, arabic, college stuff, my interests... but nothing else. I’m not planning out what to wear of what to say or any of that nonsense. So here I am...
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i imagine safety in the stars, cuz you made so many wishes
When will my life take some type of direction?
What am I supposed to be doing?
Will I ever know what love is?
Am I good at something, or will I ever be?
Will people look at me when I’m gone and say I had passion?
**note:this last question was taken from the movie Serendipity....
What am I supposed to be doing?
Will I ever know what love is?
Am I good at something, or will I ever be?
Will people look at me when I’m gone and say I had passion?
**note:this last question was taken from the movie Serendipity....
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is it so necessary for that tear?
Last night I went to Mutiny and I started a canvas- my first ever! I will put a picture of it up here when I am done... although I dont know how well it will turn out, hence the fact that I have never done one before. It should be interesting.
hm...I think the whole social anxiety disorder will pass with time
so thats about all of my, well...interesting
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be smart
AP Govt.= ok, this class is the first thing in the morning, so I’m being all shy and quiet in it so far. But I intend to change that. I sit by Anya, Mike, and Meghan so I think it’ll be fun.
Photography= this pisses me off cuz I wanted to take Photo 2 cuz I pretty much know what I’m doing and I need the advanced thing for college, but he won’t allow me to. So basically, I’m stuck there listening to what a filter is and how apeture works. lammmeee.... but there are these 2 punk rock kids that sit by me and I talk to them a lot so that’s cool. And today "the justin kid" got transfered into my class so thats cool I guess. And there is this kid in there who looks interesting and he sits all by himself and looks lonely. I think I’m gonna talk to him cuz he looks like he’d be a cool person to talk to.
Astronomy= this is an awesome class... I sit in front of Cindy and next to Nathan. And the teacher is so extremely funny. He’s like a Mr. Jones, except in the science area. If I would have had him for all my science classes, I probably wouldn’t have hated it so much.
English 101 at msjc= ok.. I dont know a soul in this class, which makes sense cuz it’s at a different school. However, there is this cool looking girl in there that seemed all smart and all and I think I should talk to her. That dosn’t mean I will, cuz I’m shy. Just that I would want to.
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break me off a piece of that kit kat bar
just pick me up
on A and 9th
save me some time
the streets are slow
can we go
for a ride?
you want me completely
and I’m ready
and it’s fine
and so I began
the double life
I began the double life
save me some time
just take me out
on A and 9th
save me some time
I always wanted to wake up
on the Lower East Side
you want me completely
and I’m ready
and it’s fine
and so I began
the double life
i began the double life
I wasn’t paying attention
and you quietly reeled me in again
I wasn’t paying attention
and you quietly reeled me in again
and after all the games
it’s business as usual again
it’s just business as usual
save me some time
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not too soon, not too soon...
not much to say... I havn’t really had much of a life for about 2 weeks. I’ll wait until something exciting happens to write anything more.
oh... but I do like a boy. :-)
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Cuz mystery and misery can sometimes be a call to action...it can be a source of passion
In a few short hours I will be on a plane to the middle of the country...hm... but I made an avacado sandwich to take with me. So yes...no melo for me for the time period of about ten days. Unless, of course, another miracle takes place.
Todays events were as follows:
1) went to my registration where I got my schedule and decided I hate EHS with passion as I saw all these preppy little teenagers all talking with eachother as well as their parents. It is also a big pile of dirt also. Literally. I don’t know when the construction will end, but its going to suck having to park on some random street across the street.
2) picked Ska up and went to drop something off at the school. Afterwards we went to Albertson’s and I bought some avacado sandwich supplies, some hair stuff, cookies, and my green tea.. On the way home we did our dance/whatever thing to our song. It was quite awesome. Later I took my brother to the mall for him to get some school clothes. At least he didnt get any Fox shirts this time... some of the things he got were ok... could’ve been better though.
I am not sure what to do about anything....or even if I shoulddo something. Everyone says to live life out and wait for things to take place... that’s in fact my biggest and most influential cliche. But I’m getting pretty tired of waitttttiiiiiinnnnnngggggggg...........BLAH I am so confused and sick of waiting I just want everything good thats going to happen to show some sort of sign that I’ll be able to recognize.
well that will be all until I get a shot at another computer. adios
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happy little day
You see, we have these undercover people at Albertsons that walk around and pretend to be shopping when they are in fact looking for shoplifters. Yesterday they found someone that was stealing IB profin for some guy to make speed, and they had me go in there with them cuz they needed another female in the room. Anyways the whole point is that I really want to work undercover and whatnot. My grandpa used to be an undercover cop and the stories are so awesome. Hm... it was weird too cuz yesterday I prayed for some type of sign or something to lead me in the right direction and the same day that whole incident happened.
Tennessee in two days... this summer definately went fast.
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My Circle Theory Proven Right Once More
I was at the mall with Alicia and Chris for quite awhile... I got a lot of back to school clothes and aimlessly wandered the mall. It was just a great day. However, we ran into Carl, who isn’t too liked by Alicia’s parents. To make a long story short, Alicia’s family showed up at the mall, her dad told me "not to lie to them" (which I have never done), and she is probably in a lot of trouble right now. Also, when I got home, my parents were mad at me because I was home so late, and now I can’t go anywhere unless I have a cell phone with me and its turned on all the time. -- Translation: I have to buy a phone or take my mom’s extremely large nextel with me wherever I go.--
You know, I should have known this was going to happen. Everything seemed so fun, so perfect today. If I would have even given the slightest thought to my well thought out circle theory (gets bad, gets better, bad, better....it never stops. Everything always balances out) I would have realized that something like the such would have taken place.
*sigh*
I have been having an awesome week too... I’m sure that had something to do with it...
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Nostalgia
*me, megan, and no doubt
*youth group when we all took up 2 rows
*putting beeswax in my hair when it was all short
*having high top converses and rolling the tops over
*hating anything girly
*catherine and her patch pants and fluffy hair
*having a sock guy fan club
*the whole ryan era
*being tan
*water polo
*curling my bangs after swim practice
*going to the beach with ryan horton in 7th grade with his family
* walking to erica’s dad’s house when he lived out here to meet her half way
*ski club and going snowboarding with brittney greene and the whole middle school clique
*shopping at charlotte russe and mervyn’s
*convention ’02
*when me and matt where best friends
*digging at a chain at recess with amanda delgado in 2’nd grade
*singing ace of base and billy idol in mine and lysa’s lane in swim
*moving my bed in my closet with my cousin
*putting up my first poster in my closet where my mom would have no objections
*filthy’s
*getting excited over new polo shirts
*having a secure date to every school dance
*going to old die radio die shows
*my phase of eating 2-3 oranges a day
*the excitement of getting contacts and finally being able to see without holding glasses up to my face with fear of being seen
*race across the desert song with joe
*soccer and track in middle school
*thinking it was cool when i was a freshman to be friends with anyone older than me
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Well darling, I see it in your eyes...
Carts at 8 o’clock at night give me muchos time to think. My mind didnt stop going. But I hated that 3-midnight shift, and I will have to deal with it again next week. And I am back there today for another 8 of my lovely hours. Yo se, i dont have much of a life...but I saw Catherine Rios there and we talked of France and of life matters... while standing in the middle of the street. She took my phone number, told me she’d call, and inspired me to move to Switzerland. I also saw my friend Katy. She has the same birthday as me and is getting married next year. Man... that makes me feel really old. I plan on getting married in a lonnnng time. Seriously, a loooonnnnggg time....I dont feel anything like a grown-up yet...nope Im just a little kid right now...
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and in a story told, she was a little girl...
Hm... so anyways I got home and its been boring, but i bought a croissant and an avacado and made myself a great sandwich! yay that was pretty cool. Oh.... and I usually dont like getting into this "drama" stuff, but I feel slightly obligated to because my interests were very much er... made fun of shall we say? So here I go... if you wish, you may read my guestbook down below... Im not going to erase it, I dont really care too much. But you will see a, hm... , well "hatefull" response. After I read this, I was not greatly disapointed. You see, I think if someone feels that way, theres nothing I could do about it. Im not going to try to make this person like me, because hey- she already dosnt, whats the use, ya know? so yes... that is that.
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Unless Katie got hips
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Is that all there is? If that’s all there is my friends, then lets keep dancing....
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Attention: weird, political, artistic friends wanted for me!
I have about 3 friends, so when none of these people can go out, I feel that I myself can’t go out. I get really scared to just call up people I know if they arn’t these 3 people. I also get really intimidated by a lot of people. Its quite frustrating.
So now that I am feeling a bit more rational, I made a list of people that I should call up. sound pathetic? yeah... i know that...
As for my interests lately, college definately tops the chart. Ok, ok... I already know I am one of those smart, nerd-like kids. But whatever I dont care.
Top places I want to go:
1.Swarthmore -Pennsylvania
3. Point Loma- San Diego
5. Cal State San Diego or USD or SDSU
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Hello old friend.