victory can be a surprise (o5)

[ baby won't you try to find me, baby won't you try to fight, baby won't you try to find me, maybe it will be alright ]

I'm writing out the lives of our fathers on infant hands. I'm trying and I'm selling but I'm holding out all the time. Thinking out loud never was the most elegant form of speech, but then I'm thinking "Preaching isn't teaching!" and I can't believe I missed it. I like to lean on the shoulder of big establishments that take one man to dream, and another hundred to build.

When no one else is around, I admit to myself that really don't like it at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure I hate it. But hate just isn't enough these days.

No, hate is just too common to start a war. Not like want and need and greed. I start to wonder if, but if turns into when, and when turns into not now not now. Oh, but if this keeps up, I'll be too late.

The orchestra's playing out a symphony that only poor men can hear. Would you, could you, if it happened? Is it worth it?

Caffeine that courses through my being tells me yes, as does the water boiling in the kitchen, and the spider bits crushed underneath a paper plate. How will you know how to protect yourself if everyone's always smashing you up with paper plates?

"I knew," she thinks, "I always knew that it would be like this."

[. It's getting serious like a CAR WRECK .]


You can't call it enlightenment if you haven't learned anything.

Yeah, you can skip about and yell and scream but no one is going to L I S T E N to you if you don't have anything to say. You're running on REPEAT-REPEAT-REPEAT; sorry, no one heard you.

Thirteen minutes is all you ever had - and it wasn't even yours to begin with. Did you notice that there was not one shout for an encore? Incompetence always skimmed the outer edges of your vision, but had you dared to look, you would've seen it already sinking its canines into your life.

Step up, once, twice, thrice- sorry, no one cares. I'm watching you, you should've realized, and it's not a pretty show performance. The theatre is starting to rebut, sweetie, and the props are all falling down around you. Come now darling, let me hear those stolen songs. I paid to see you sing something.

Oh, sorry, no one heard you.

Oh, sorry, no one cares.

Oh, sorry, how much did I say I loved you?


[. It began with brilliant streaks of jade across their rotting fates, but when they arrived in each other's eyes, the world had already started in its end .]

"É a chuva chovendo,
é conversa ribeira
Das águas de março,
é o fim da canseira"


One of the first guideline's that a child hears is, "No one will know you better than yourself." And children will eagerly take that at face value, ready to tackle the understanding when they're older and begin to second-guess themselves. It is then that we start to think that that just might be the farthest from the truth.

We look around each other in search for meaning we can grasp in our hands.

Evelina looks for herself in the eyes of those around her, but all she finds is other people looking right back into her own, questing for the same thing. Eventually, she finds solace in this, because, as she understands it, this is the basic level of human on human interaction. It creates a string tying every one person, to every other.

These strings cross and twist and tangle, but they're trustworthy in the sense that they will always keep us together. We are allowed to depend on these strings to keep us connected, because as each string travels through person after person, it will always reach back to you, creating not a circle, but a matrix- a network of relations.

This is our world, and we're slipping in a neurotic fashion like trainers in mud puddles. It is imperative that we realize our hold on each other- to stop searching so fervently, and start finding.


"It's the rain raining,
It's the river bank talking
Of the waters of March,
It's the end of the struggle"

[. This world is crazy, and I think I feel alright. I want my life, and I really want to thank you .]

This is Maddie, for whom I wrote this. She's the girl I'll always trust to sing loudly and play with true smiles. She's not Anna K, she's Maddie Dru, and that's just the way I like it.



well, I had a dream I, yes, I had a dream and I


You're trophies and your friends and your drugs just aren't good enough anymore. A burgundy carpet covered in soiled letters addressed to the most divine. So close to sending but the corner postman told you they didn't make enough stamps to send something so far. Now the letters are covered in dreams but don't cry, you shouldn't cry.

It wasn't really there at all, anyway.


such a long road we've been walking on


Yes, it's true;
we lied to you.

We lied to you about everything.


sometimes my mind is too strong to carry on


Her strength is challenged by none, but I just know she'd accept any duel, properly instigated or not. Her world shines through her words in vivid colours of cerulean blue and misty greens. But regardless of the exquisite grace her poetry holds, she is not just written lines and website addresses. She is real, she is alive, and she in herself is an inspiration of which I am powerless not to appreciate and respect.


but here is what I know now, goes like this



We�re reaching past those glittering stars, because we�re shooting for more, a little bit more, the best.


oh, and then that's when I miss you, yes



We're gonna go far, baby.


that is when I miss you



We met while fighting evil. We fought together on a battlefield. And in the end, we won.

[. And the world didn't seem so threatening anymore, he believed. Not alone, no, not alone .]

"So I live, that's about all I can say;
I breathe nearly every day."



The maid's did a full cleaning of the house yesterday. The floors are all dry slicked and my sock-clad feet slide when I turn the corners too quickly, or make a sudden stop.

So naturally..

When I kneeled down to retrieve something from a bottom cabinet, my feet slipped out from underneath me and I landed squarely on my arse bones. When the inevitable happened I made this little "Oh!" sound, but luckily for me Bella wasn't here.

It was most amusing. And I laughed so hard I just stayed there for a moment.

But now I have little bruises where my bones hit the tile; ouch.


"Change the truth until it's worth money;
it's a joke but it's not that funny."

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