just go away now, leave me, i’m trying to hide
i’m full of nothing, nothing at all, nothing but inner cries
for the first time ever i questioned our love
and if maybe it was me not giving all that much
but then i realized i give more than you
and again i felt worse with not a clue what to do
i wish i could catch your attention and contain it within
maybe then i could keep this forever as my greatest sin

*this poem of mine today goes out to my cousin ryan who once again i have put alot of my trust in, just so he can screw up and run away again. when i talk about questioning our love it is on a family level and a friend level. ryan has always been there for me except for a few times when i needed him the most. i used to think he would run away because of a specific someone and maybe i wasn’t loving him enough, but i realize it’s his loss that he’s gone missing out. i wish he wouldn’t always leave and i want to keep him around being my greatest sin because he isn’t the brightest kid, i’ll admit. he has some problems and my family wouldn’t except me wanting to keep him around (being a "sin"). i love ryan and i know he will never read this but if he ever does i wish he never would have broken the promise he made and just stayed home like he should have. i don’t know how to forgive him this time...*