archive
Death surrounds me
Aside from a marvelous night at City Club last night i came across some mildly shocking news. I woke up yesterday and one of the first things my mother says to me is that an ex troop mate (yes i was in the boyscouts at one period of my life *rolls eyes*) Chris Laginess took a 12 gauge shotgun to his heart. This was shocking because he was the type of guy that i couldn’t see doing this sort of thing. True growing up he was a bit of an asshole but during his late teens he became quite the guy. I began to like him quite a bit. Now feelings aside this news struck me as somehow morbidly funny since apparently people i knew in a "former" life time aka high school are dropping like flies yet everyone else had pegged me to be the suicidal type. One surprise is I’M STILL HERE YET THEY’RE NOT! Another Boy Scout troopmate his name is Ryan went off to iraq in the marines. Thankfully he’s not dead but unfortunately his Humvee hit a landmine and he landed on his back at such an angle that he might not be able to walk again. Another high school classmate tried to outrun a train and obviously didn’t win. It almost seems as though death surrounds me like an aura. *smiles slightly* It seems as though I have the reverse effect of King Mida’s right hand. I went through most of the day at work in sort of a somber, meloncholy mood. I guess it really wasn’t helping to listen to Malice Mizer’s The reunion of blood and roses. Bad news aside, my club visit was quite pleasant. I met a few new people and thankfully one of them Lexi, could help me with my on going ailment aka the single life. She apparently knows practically everyone there. Unfortunately i find myself attracted mostly to her though but i shove those feelings aside as her bf and her are quite happy or so they seem. No use dwelling on it. *thinks to self* It’s been quite the while since i’ve made an entry this bloody long. its been an eventful two days i guess. -Michael-
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Emotion
Can’t think of much to say. A person needs emotion. Emotion is the reason why that person knows that he/she is still alive. Unfortunately I believe that I’ve become to used to being alone. I know I’ve written about this previously but i don’t think i expressed it well enough. I’ve seriously been a shut in for too long. I’m desensitized towards practically everything. Some people think of it as a blessing but this is my bane. I’d rather have the rage/love/fear/sadness well up inside me then feel nothing more than anything physical. Enough of my drama as i hate bitching fits. I need to figure out a decent color schematic since this default blue melo is quite annoying. Anybody know where i could find a decent website with custom html for it? I’m bored, I think i’m going to go kill virtual nazis. -Michael-
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In the end, you’re always alone.
Well the day has come. I’m single once more but no tearful goodbyes, no half hour crying sessions, no week long "i’d like to jerk the wheel into oncoming traffic" moods. Unfortunately, I think I’ve gotten so used to breaking up or maybe just being alone rather that i don’t get to experience such things. Now a lot of people would think of this as a good thing. Now I’m starting to believe that even the bad emotions such as lonesomeness are better than having none at all. This person was really something special. A person who just emanated life from her, i felt.....good. For a person who hasn’t felt anything along the lines of happiness since he last laid next to his partner and just exhaled it, losing that last bit of emotion is quite the painful goodbye in itself whether or not the stricken is weeping. But i guess its true, you’re always alone in the end. Maybe i should start my own search to finding happiness for oneself instead of finding it in others. But i find this hard to conceive since only other peoples’ happiness brought me mine. I wonder. -Michael-
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damnable internet
Its only good for porn i tell you. Can’t ever find anything that you bloody want though. I wish i could find a link for Fear Factory’s "Slave Labor"
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*sighs* oh it pains me to do this.
I hate being a bloody hypocrite. I came back here because i needed a photo for a website that i knew that i still had here but i wound up messing around with my settings. Before i knew what hit me i figured "why the hell not, give melo another shot.". I don’t expect much of a welcome back but we’re not exactly going to do the same for the coming of space jesus so its kosher. I don’t understand why people make these journal entries towards others though. Its a bloody online journal. True, other people can read and comment on said lamentations but they seem to be so caught up in their own sodden melodrama that they forget the purpose of the actual journal. Its to record events. Okay I’m done. Now i expect a damn ticket tape parade for me when i get back or I’ll unleash the wrath of dancing King Satan upon you all. -Michael- *my random comment for the morning*
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Attention Final Fantasy Fans
I realize that i said my last entry would be my last and i intend this one to possibly be my last more emphasis on this one. I recently started playing FFXI online. For anybody who has the necessary hardware requirements for it *cough* Vid card *cough*. I am playing right now in Shiva server so if anybody wishes to party up with me sometime leave me a gspot or email me at Gundam_Nataku03@hotmail.com. I will be checking my gspot on a regular basis for one week, then i will consider the matter closed and will not be answering spots any longer. -Mike-
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Probably my last entry
Well as the title says, this will probably be my last entry here. I have no life and rarely have anything interesting to rant about so i think i’m going to give it up. Not to mention that this site sucks pretty badly in all sorts of ways. First and most obvious, I’m sick of this goddamn site having an on again off again server. This pisses me off the most because when i actually feel like putting something here, I can’t because its down and i eventually forget it *twitch*. What else, there is also the fact that people rant on about this site being so great, its an online journal page.......nothing more!! Its a small window on a 17in moniter to me. It has no significant meaning. Lately its becoming a place for wannabe goths to whine, bitch, and write their shitty goth poetry. As for news (as if anyone cared), I’ve returned to my violin practices and i’ve gotten back my skill, I’m in love with the instrument. Anybody and their mother can play a guitar but it takes a truly artistic person to play the violin well. I will in the future possibly move to Japan to pursue a permanent career there due to its much greater available technology. Tiana and I are doing quite well but I’m not rushing anything. I’ve known the girl since I moved to this shitty country (which is rather amazing that such a darling girl such as she was raised here.) and I know when she wants an even deeper commitment. I believe that will be all for me. Anybody who would like to reach me should contact me through my email and msn IM name Gundam_Nataku03@hotmail.com because i will no longer be replying to gspots as this site has pissed me off a bit too much. Fuck this server speed with a rusty hammer. -Michael-
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ugh
This blasted meloplayer is kind of pissing me off. The only thing i’ve been able to play is a tenacious d clip. I want to play my goddamn malice mizer stuff but NO! There are practically no urls for malice mizer on it and those are on geocities... Geocities is having problems and refuses to play ANYTHING. I would love to be able to format my own mp3’s of MM but I don’t have the bloody time.
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Attention!
Yeah, i got 500 and stuff...woo *twirls finger in air* I have a couple of questions..... Does anybody know of a site with some good html for my melo and can somebody point me in the direction of a media player for my melo. I just want my goddamn music on here, especially Beast of Blood by Malice Mizer
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I’m a really big whore
one more to go then i can finally put MY GODDAMN MUSIC ON HERE!!
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I’m a whore
I’m a whore I’m a whore Yay *makes special Edd faces and drools*
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Screw it
I’m this close to 500 so I’m gonna be a whore. I don’t care about the stupid html and whatnot. I just want my damn music on here
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Me, and Gackt. What a comparison.
Take the Malice Mizer personality test by
Mania and Dementia!- Touch (0)
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Ugh
I really haven’t been all that active as of late. Heh, when am i ever active. I finally did get an internet connection to my room so i’m happy about that. I do finally have something to write about now. I spent the last two days in the hospital. I was just recently in a car crash with my sister. Whats laughable is the fact that i wasn’t scared at all when it happened. I got a nice little scar out of it. Those of you who thought i look like Squall, guess what? I now look even more like him. I have his scar..... I laughed as soon as i saw the resemblence. Whats cool was when i was at the hospital my friend Tiana "nursed" me back to health, no innuendo involved. Starting to think about that relationship again. Its looking mighty inviting again. Anyways thats all for you. Pleasant something -Mike-
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This isn’t really a big surprise
You’re "Twilight" Suzuka! Nicknamed for the precise time you kill, you’re
cold, clean, efficient and perfectly capable of
taking care of yourself. If Hilda said next to
nothing about her past, you say even less about
your own. You’re different from others and like
to keep your solitary distance.
Which Outlaw Star character are you?
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Recovery
Thankfully I’m finally recovered and I’ll be on a bit more. *yawns* Ack I’m writing this at 4pm right now. I should be just now waking up dammit. Its what I love about my sleep schedule. I’m just going to sleep when others are going to school and waking up when they’re getting out. Its why I’m glad I’m a closer at work. The last thing I wish to do after work is go to sleep. I just realized something. I’m becoming a more callous asshole than before I met my last couple of exs. Granted, I’m still a gentleman when talking to women but overall I’m grown to just blatently hate the mindlessly spawning masses of growth we call human kind. I’m beginning to feel like Nny right now without the murderous intentions. I kind of understand this because I live so damn close to detroit ugh. Yeah, so I get to live near all these goddamn gangster nigger Eminem wannabes. I pissed one of them off the other day and he said "I’m gonna get my boys!" Which means he’s to much of a pussy to fight me one on one. So now to be safe I have to carry a belt of my throwing knives close to me. I want to go back to England, granted that its not crime free over there but its not nearly as bad as over here. Either that or I’d like to move somewhere away from nigger wannabe central over here. As for the people who are offended by my use of the word "nigger" I’m not using it in reference to all black people I’m just using it in reference to the stereotype, in which their are a lot of people who try desperately to meet the stereotype over here. Whats funny is that not a one of them is as hardened as they think they are. I’ve already beaten the hell out of three of them around here. Its not a hate crime for not wanting to deal with their attitudes and eventually turns to hostility on his side. I call it self defense. Anyways this is getting too long. Pleasant something -Mike-
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Lying in bed in a pile of my filth
Yeah, Well my last three days has been fun. Today was the first day that i have been able move outside of my room without suffering from pains of astronomical levels. I pulled my back at work. I’m going to keep this relatively short because I’m going back to lying down as this is most uncomfortable. Pleasant something -Mike-
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Update thing about me at the bottom.
I updated the excessively long "invade your privacy thing at bottom of my melo. It was longer but it got cut in half for some reason. For those that don’t know me, I suggest reading through the survey. Pleasant something people -Mike-
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compliments of my friend
Compliments on the crop job from my friend, tabby. Thank you much, I know absolutely nothing about photo editing. Thanks once again Tabby. -Mike-
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How long has this thing been up? New one coming soon.
SQUAWK!!!!
6 % said huh?
6 % said Are you insane?
39 % said well, SQUAWK!! to you too!
50 % said *makes some other sound i couldn’t hope to spell*
54 total votes.
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Not only once, but twice proven.
You are Gaz! You are pure evil, and you live for
pizza, video games, and revenge.
.:: Which Invader ZIM Character are You? ::.
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Mind games *cackles* fun
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Well, who would have guessed this was me? *tries not to laugh*
You’re Gaz. A video-game queen (or king, depending
on your actual gender), you despise your
sibling(s) and have no other goal in life than
to be the ultimate gamer. "I’m only
thirteen levels away from finishing this game.
So I either finish my game or make you wish I
was never born."
! Quiz of Doooooooom!
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Another bit of gamer advice and disturbing revelations.
Whoo hoo, I finally got my copy of Chaos Legion. To anybody who liked DMC, the first one not the horridly shitty second one, I suggest getting this. Whats kind of ironic is when character switches occur and you play as your partner, isn’t she usually next to worthless? *smiles* Not here, she’s better than the main character and she has this ability that reminds me of Gene Starwind’s Caster shells. The plot brings up again the whole idea of purification through destruction again. This is actually rather true. I believe the only way to "purify" the human race is to completely annihilate it. The human race was meant to consume its resources and move on to more habitable territory and I hate to sound like I’m quoting Agent Smith but its true. We will end up eventually destroying this planet. Recycling our resources is just going to delay the inevitable. Personally, I’m just glad this won’t happen anywhere near my lifetime unless someone starts nuclear war. -Mike-
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What do you do with a drunken sailor?
Duh. You are "But WHY’s the rum gone?!"
You’re not the smartest one in the bunch, but
you’re sweetly appealing and you don’t let
disappointment get to you. Everybody
identifies with you, because let’s face it, why
IS the rum gone?
Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow’s bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
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A life lesson
Those that have learned this should agree that Lady Luck is really a hooker and you were fresh out of cash.
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What to write about?
I’m once again writing an entry so my "adoring public" doesn’t lose interest. God, it seems that all I can write about is tv, video games and the few friends that I have. Eh, no matter, I like the friends that I have and their zany little quirks. I rented something else to keep my simple mind at ease so it doesn’t grow bored and I have to run off to commit mass murder (joking obviously). I noticed something. Midway, the makers of the beloved Mortal Kombat series makes a damn good RPG. Its called Shadow Hearts and I recommend anyone who even remotely calls himself a gamer get it or at least rent it. Thats my gamer advice for now. Hopefully I can find more things to write about so I don’t start to rant on about nothing like usual. Oh, perhaps I should put up the only other pic that I have since my newest and favorite one is too big to put up here (curses *snarl sounds*). -Mike-
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What to write about?
I’m once again writing an entry so my "adoring public" doesn’t lose interest. God, it seems that all I can write about is tv, video games and the few friends that I have. Eh, no matter, I like the friends that I have and their zany little quirks. I rented something else to keep my simple mind at ease so it doesn’t grow bored and I have to run off to commit mass murder (joking obviously). I noticed something. Midway, the makers of the beloved Mortal Kombat series makes a damn good RPG. Its called Shadow Hearts and I recommend anyone who even remotely calls himself a gamer get it or at least rent it. Thats my gamer advice for now. Hopefully I can find more things to write about so I don’t start to rant on about nothing like usual. Oh, perhaps I should put up the only other pic that I have since my newest and favorite one is too big to put up here (curses *snarl sounds*). -Mike-
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