Awoke today with no new ideas And as I grow old only one thing does not For love you are the one I choose So I wish you would know that you are so beautiful And so forever I am yours

This weekend should be fun. Lets see Norma Jean On Friday. Its sold out but I would really like to get my friend in. If anybody has an extra ticket out there I will do anyhting for it, ANYTHING :wink:wink:. Saturday Its Scars and Underoath man oh man Ihope Scars plays alot of old stuff again. Then Sunday Is Nodes of Ranvier, Seventh Star and Sanai Beach. I love Christian Hardcore. Oh man I think thats going to be my favorite show of all. Anyone wanna go with me? It will be good times I promise.

I miss my CASSIE babe

Eyes Open Wide, Looking at the Heavens with a Tear in my Eye. Yes Theres love if you want it.

Waiting, I Hate it when my friends are sad and I can’t do a thing to help them. Waiting

You know what the greatest feeling in the world is? The feeling you get when your with somone you really care for.

From nowhere I first saw your face. You knew everyone, everything. You thought you were above us all. Ran your mouth for attention, looking for acceptance. Came around with so much to prove, but no one here gives a fuck about you. We’re better off without you, so much better off, without you. Make your claims, it’s all the same. Big mouth, no heart. My hate for you just fucking grows. In and out of every trends. Never backed the things you said. The loudest are the first to go, so fucking go. Seen your kind many times. Big mouth, no heart. In shame, disgrace. Fist to your fucking face.-Terror

Saturday Woke up and got ready for break down fest. Picked up Danny then went to West Covina to pick up Amber. Got to the pier at 11 the time the show was supposed to start but it didn’t. it started like at 2:30. SO to kill time we went to subway accross the street and to some speed boat races behind it. Felix told me about some job in Costa Mesa which sounded interesting, doing telemarketing, but I hate those guys so if I did it I would have to kick my own ass. So like talked to the security guys there they were cool, some how we started talking about candy and like he said he would let me and some friends in for free if we brought him some Abba Zabbas. So of course we did, sold my tickets and got in for free. Lets see the bands were amazing. Bound in Blood was so heavy. So were most of the bands. I heard so much of VOA and was disappointed when I saw them, they sounded like a generic metalcore band. Donnybrook was awesome. Bo was funny. Some good stomp action with some two steps. Integrity was ehh. I don’t really like them. They tried to start shit with Dino cuz he didn’t pay al the amount they were promised. BUt they didn’t bring in alot of kids so they got what they deserved. So after the show we went to alejandros to eat. Like usual. Hung out there for a while with Amber and Brandon. I fell asleep in the car and Marc came up and tried to punch me in my face. then we went home and Danny sleep over. Dude he was trying to be cool with Katie then he fell of my hair and hit his head on my guitar I was mad but it was too funny. We satyed up Dancing for terror and writing songs for our possycore band. Man he was pushing Katie to go with us tomorrow and I was like dude chill and back off but he was like just let me talk I know how to play, he was being all Slick and it wasn’t working, she caught onto him and all I could do was laugh. Oh I finally said hi to Emma, now she wont block me cuz she said she would if I didn’t atleast say hi to her If I saw her. She got mad when I didn’t say hi to her at Hellfest, but she could of done the same I guess. Well thats pretty much it for Saturday.

Its been awhile since my last entry. Lets see whats new. I quit Walmart,yeah I was getting sick of the people there, they are all full of bullshit. I got a job at Natures Best in Brea, an Organics foods wherehouse. But I quit that too. That place was seiously driving me insane. 9 Hours or more confined to my own thoughts. I found out alot about myself. I’m scary, my own thoughts almost drove me insane. And I found out that my life really sucks right now. Lets see I don’t have any close friends anymore. no one to sleep over with and just watch movies and talk. The girl I really really like lives in San Diego, I don’t have a job, so I don’t have any money to go visit her. I would really like to though, just so I can hold her and fall asleep in each others arms. School is starting soon so I will have some thing to occupy myself with. Oh I’m only going to school part time cuz I my scholarship got suspended for one year because of when I was depresed and din’t go to class last year. But this year its going to be different, no girl is going to bring me down, no matter how much I love them. So tomorrow and the rest of the week I’m just going to look for a job. Hopefully I get one at RObinsons May cuz thats were I spent most of my money anyway. Now I have to buy a half stack cuz Mike wants me to play for Strenth Behind Tears since they kicked out their old guitarist. And Then theres my other band with Brandon, Mike, And Jav, we haven’t practiced for a while but me and Jave have been coming up with alot of things so can’t wait till we all get settled and play shows. Lets see lots of good shows coming up. BreakDown Fest this weekend, Can’t wait to see all my homies play, Tuesday is The Hurricanrana and Cast in Stone reunion show, thats going to be so awesome I’ve missed those guys. Throwdown is coming back, so is Underoath and Nodes of Ranvier. Well I can’t wait. Can’t Wait to see Cassie. One day babe, one day near we ca be together.

The emptyness is back. The Hate is back. The anger is back. All the emotions are back. I just want to end it all. Stop the pain, the suffereing. I thought I filled the hole in my heart but I just covered it.

Pics From six Flags Thress Company Pose Going home Leaving Again Me and Dev Devan and the Mannys Devan being her hott self, Too Hot For TV if you ask me

Saw an amazing Christian Hardcore band tonight. Man I love Torn In Too. I went to Strenth Behind Tears final recording day. They sound so amazing, now imagine how they would sound when they kick the white boy out and I start playing for them. (Sorry I don’t mean to sound rascist, its just helps us know who we are talking about when we add in their color or nationality) Devan was supposed to sing in the album but in the end the recording guy took it because he said that it didn’t fit in with the whole screaming. Most of us though he was wrong, but went with it anyway. Oh well looks like Dev got grounded for anything. Sorry Babe, But I promise to put you in when I play. Well Wednsday I went to Six flags with almost the whole new band, it was great I will post pictures later I’m to tired right now. Man I can truly say I had a great time, with them and Devan. It was like old times when we were really good friends, I think its going to be like that again. Yay, I missed her old self. You will see in the pics. Well night.

Today was ok, Got up at 5am went to the gym, then I came home, talk to people online, ate, rode in the heights, man Its been a while I’m all out of shape. I think my team is going to drop me. and I don’t want that. I mean I have lots of fun just racing with them, but I haven’t trained in like two months. I was huffing and puffing climbing the hills. Then I came home went online again. Got a call from work telling me to come in early and thats what I’m waiting for right now, Look forward to another lock up at work. I hope theres another bomb threat, that always kills time. Well thats it. I have to go to work now, I hope that didn’t bore you. Told you my life was boring Serena, I need someone to make it better, bring some excitement to my life. I love you Amber and Brandon, you too are the raddest.

I love this poem, it says everything I want to say even though I can’t say it.::::::: Don’t let them say I was never here, that something stopped my heart, I felt every tender squeeze you gave, I’ve loved you from the start, Although my body you can’t hold It doesn’t mean I’m gone, I was not worthy of you, God chose that I move on,I know the pain that drowns your soul, What you are forced to face, You have my word I’ll fill your arms, Someday we will embrace, You will hear that we were meant to be, God doesn’t make mistakes, But that wont soften your worst blow, Or make your heart not ache, I’m watching over all you do, Giving you that extra boost when you need it, Believe me when I say that I am always there, There will come a time, I promise you, When you will hold my hand, stroke my face and kiss my lips, and I will do the same, and everything will feel alright, Although I’ve never breathed your air or shared a heartbeat, it doesn’t mean that I* can’t love you. Maybe some day.