watching the hands swing by,
there’s nothin left to cry
about.

and i’m burning my cigarettes into my arm
i’m watchin them do no harm
to me.

because i have you.
and i have everything you do.


i don’t have to be sad anymore.
my thoughts are not comprised of the same things like before.


and the walls grow vintage
and it’s still in fashion.
i count the minutes
with a passion.




because i have you.
and i have everything you do.

props to my homies:






Cindy Nawilis for Sophomore Council








Christina Nguyen for Junior President








Euria for Senior Council






And to all my other "homies" who are running:

There is a person(s) who enjoy instant messaging me and insulting me with the full force of their stupidity. On one such occasion, they tried to reason out the bitterness in my life with the fact that I’ve never had a girlfriend, and that I don’t have one now.






Let me tell you ONE thing:













YOU WERE NEVER MORE WRONG

Stripped and Untarred.




i’ll light this cigarette, and i’ll burn it to the core
these tales i won’t forget,
and the stories i heard from the floor


from the balcony top, i look out on everything
you never told me to stop,
you loved just about everything


i peer over the edge, and i can see the bottom
the endings i did dread
and the never ending problem


dangling feet from the 4th floor, and i see my hour
the fire is dying in my core,
while i can smell the dying go sour.






.Chris Nguyen.

it’s been... a while since the last time we talked.
i know we’re friends, but the meaning isn’t the same
when you haven’t talked for weeks. you never called,
but that’s okay, i didn’t either. but you never said my name

never said hello, never asked me how i was doing...
it was always the same "you’re there so we don’t have to say anything"
yeah. thanks. it’s always the same thoughts brewing...
you know, the ones where i feel like i’m nothing.


remember?


i’ve said my problem before, i’ve said what i felt
and you told me you heard me and that you’ll change
but it’s still the same difference, no change, nothing dealt
with. just the same thoughtless crap. the same is the same.

nowadays, i’m happy. i’m really happy again? have you noticed? i don’t know
if you have or not, but it hasn’t changed anything. nothing at all.
you still never inquire about me. it’s always about you and what you’re going so...
i don’t think you’ll have much of a right when i’m head over heels for this girl when i fall.

yeah. crazy, huh? out of all the bitterness of my heart that
i’ve acquired for so many years, i finally throw down my barriers once again.
but still, i feel trapped.
out all this, i don’t know if i’’m able to go through with this all the way till the end.


when was the last time you pretended to be happy? when was the last time you faked it?
you use to, or at least you could ask me. i’ve done it since i couldn’t remember, i’ll show you how.
it feels like every time i go through with anything anymore, i can’t take it.
when was my last time? right now.

fathom the depths of the...













... Unknown.











i don’t post actual pictures of myself because that’s not how i should be depicted. i don’t enjoy being judged based on my appearance and i despise the idea of vanity. i understand though that there needs to be some kind of attraction, often physical, to build a friendship on, and i try not to discriminate against that, but based on my belief, i try to steer away from that. rather, i meet the people i know through friends, whose views and ideas i respect. of course, i do make an exception every now and then.
this’ how i like to be seen: not with a face, but my mind speaking out in place of what you can see. and this’ the work of my mind, yet again.

i’m not slandering the people who take quizzes and decide to post them on their melo so don’t take offense, but here is an explanation of why i don’t post quizzes:

i’ve spent years trying to discover what kind of person i am. i don’t need a quiz to tell me what kind of slut i am, or how often i like to do it in the butt. i am an individual with my own traits and features. i’m not the "goddess of the night" or a good charlotte flavored condom.

the quizzes that are taken have no real relevance towards life or do they really apply to you (no matter how much some people think they do). And they’re extremely limited in their categories forcing you to pick 1-4. did God choose between a number range of what kind of person you should be? no, and neither should you do the same to yourself.


all these quizzes say is who else you can be, but they say nothing about what who you are as a person. they are restrictive and no way define anything.

There are no meanings behind the quizzes and are a waste of time. that time can be spent doing other things. Like discovering yourself.



Thanks for reading.

and these were...
the words to hear -
something new and original.

but those were
the words i’ve come to fear
something null and hateable

i’m more tired,
everyday,
putting up with myself

and they’re liars,
everyday,
now i’m struggling with my health.



all i can hear is the sand fall through the hour glass - the great thing about religion is that it gives so many people a purpose for living. the bad thing is that once you label yourself with a religion, you’re now under scrutiny and constant watch.

i lost the immaturity to leap in and out of love like it was a merry-go-round.

everytime i would hop the first pony
to engulf myself in a world of lights, entertainment, and ecstacy

i spin round round on the merry go round round
one more time over and over again

now i’m on my last try to reach for the copper ring.
that expendable ring that replaces itself everytime one is pulled out.

i guess i never lose the immaturity when it comes to love.
i know we’ll grow immature together with love.

Sonnet 143

i’ve been missing you
since i first saw you
only to be shot down
in the first round

the kiss that i imagined
but yet, it never happened
in the middle of the night
where everything was right

but you, who was never there
it just made you even more rare
the ability of me never capturing you
you beautiful unicorn, you.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

As i was reading AOL news today, i realize how much AOL sugar coats its news. Not only does it sugar coat its news, it’s a biased feed for pro-war activism that do not hit the core, but raise popular opinion. They send out such head liners as "Living Under Code Orange: The Duct Tape Defense" and "U.S. warns Patriot Hackers". Yes, to a point they are relevant with what is going on in our conflict, but they do not update the internet population with what is REALLY going on. For example, just two days ago, after Colin Powell made his speech to the U.N. Security Council (who was advised upon because of the growing conflict), the evidence he used to support his arguement was discovered to be false. isn’t that true news? when our Secretary of Defense would lie to us in order to support a pro-war against Iraq. And of course, i do have my complaints about their articles. these news have no supporting evidence for any of the things that are said. for example, they never explain "why" they changed teh level to orange, except through "undetermined sources taht cannot be revealed". but whose to say they aren’t making anything up like what Colin Powell did with his evidence to the U.N. Security Council? here is something that I thought was worthy of reading:


With a raise to level orange, companies, corporations, and every single private sector is affected. but Homeland Security has given them the OPTION to take security risks. not a requirement, but an option. what does that mean? some places might have double the security measures, guard dogs, and so forth, but some places will remain the same with a single night watchman. but people are still taking no chances; worldwide, people are stocking up on food, water, and duct tape. now truly, will duct tape save us from a biogical warfare? hardly not. so why did Bush’s administration decide on raising the leve to Orange? i didn’t know why until i read a recent article about Supreme Court Judge Jones decision to ban a anti-war march in Washington D.C. why would they ban a march? for many reasons they conjured up; it’d be a threat to national security by terrorist groups, since they’re marching past the U.N. it would compromise security around the sector, among the few. well doesn’t that impend on our first amendment right to assembly and petition? it sure does. so why haven’t the past tactics worked to break up these marches of low flying, loud helicopters and blocked off sectors making the paths difficult to get to? because people are still determined to fight for their rights. but with level orange in effect, the government has almost an excuse to say "no, you can’t" without needing to give any valid reason. so this won’t be so much more democratic anymore rather than a monarchy.


now this’ what AOL should really be putting on their news. Thank you for your time.

i’ve always tried to steer away from being narrow mindedness. and i’m sure many people do too. some more than others. but where do i, as a perso, start crossing that line onto personal beliefs? i was raised with traditional values and was taught manners, behavior around others, shame and humility, and so on. so when do my ideas conflict with the world?

i’ve never believed that race, age, gender, etc. made a difference, but deep down, they have their tags. i grew up learning that girls can be deceitful, guys can be shallow, older people are majority wise condescending, younger people are more immature, and so on. and as i grow up, certain examples solidify those old tags while certain examples dissolve them. the world has it’s opposites, and learning which ones apply is the hardest part. but my descriptions won’t be any help.

so when someone’s narrow minded, don’t start antagonizing them. because that’s their beliefs too. sure, it is very irritating, but if you start hating them for it, you are giving into being narrow mindedness too (sorry, i can’t pick a better word for narrow minded people). instead, reason with them. try to make them understand.