blood_red
Blood_red's Melo Quick Entry
I'm very upset at the moment. My journal fucked up when it imported. That makes me...grrr. Other than that, my life has been GREAT. mmm :)
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::Now for the first time I feel HUNTED, like I should..::
restless, falling apart, and breathing through toothaches
breaking down from the start
won’t stop holding on
she drowned in a wave out of fear of a falling sun
pulled her hair, one by one
a thousand queens could tell you, don’t fall for a king
there’s too much too live up to, know your self esteem
a thousand queens will warn you, don’t live for a dream
but who do you look up to?
floating on 9 1/2, while choking on stardust
blaming all things above
won’t stop holding on
she drowned in a wave out of fear of a falling sun
told herself he’s the one
"honey I love you too much, and i feel so afraid
and I need you, like
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::BLARG::
GOOD
-Saw Kelsey today [heart]
-Finally saw Scary Movie 2 [haha]
-Craig pet the Evanescence shirt at HT for me today [mwee]
-Sabrina is finally able to talk now that Jer and Mark are gone. [yay]
BAD
-Ron didn’t come over, and I haven’t talked to him since this morning [angrily sad]
[Ron and his ex girl that fucked him over. I like the pic of him, so eff.]
-My body feels like shit [owww]
-Tony at camp so I can’t bitch to him [rawrrr]
-Didn’t dye my hair [laziness]
-Randy’s being a cunt [fuck him]
I took some pics tonight. And NO you can’t see full boob in either of the 2 like that. One of them looks like you can, but my hand was over them so BLAR!!!! [and if you don’t like it, fuck off =) ]
Yup =)
["Not Impressed" Venescha]
["Loooooove" Venescha]
["FUCK ME" Venescha]
["I Look Like Shit and I’m Sad" Venescha]
There ya go! The many moods of Venescha!! haha, I’m a loser and I suckkkk.
That’s Jonathan, the hot hardcore boy that’s moving to Palmdale that I’m REALLY developing a crush on...he told me tonight he "loves me so much seriously" but doesn’t have a crush on me. He meant love like a friend but yeah. I’m sad =(
I need cuddles and love. It’s all I really want and I’m not getting it =(
PS-I’m fat. I hate it. UGH. Fucking diet better start working soon... ::sobs::
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::FUCK::
Emo boy is 20...
Hardcore boy is 16...
Emo boy lives an hour and a half away...
Hardcore boy is moving to Palmdale in the next few weeks...
Emo boy drives...
Hardcore boy doesn’t...
argh.
Kelsey is on her way over. [heart]
Emo boy wants to come over. [hope]
I need a massage.
I think I’ll dye my hair today. =)
Tony is at camp this week = hmmph!
Diets blow. I want Starbucks.
That is all.
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::STARS cannot be found in CLOUDS that cover up their LOVE::
Love to be beside you, the way you smell,
The way your lips feel and your fingernails.
The way your fingers crawl up my spine,
The way you always make me the last in line.
I carry the weight of the world as the past is unfurled, but I won’t stop to wonder.
Going through this life on my own made me as cold as a stone.
I’m a ship going under.
And I’d tell you this, but I don’t know how.
I’m caving in and I’m falling out and I can’t resist
And I can’t rebound with the weight of the world as the world falls down.
It’s the way you thrill me, then pull away.
The way you seem to kill me a little more each day.
And it’s what you’re thinking in your twisted mind
The way your body trembles when it’s next to mine.
This pain I think about it everyday, it tells me I’m never gonna get away.
I know it’s over, but I can’t escape memories and how to face another day....
Am I blind to see that there’s something there behind your eyes
And it’s bringing me to my knees.
All I want is you and I don’t care
All I want is you and I don’t care
Cause all I do is wait in, wondering and hoping, that we’ll survive it.
I know that all this is true.
All because of you.
[LOVE] V.J.S. [/LOVE]
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::D-d-d-d-d-d-DEAD::
Streetlight Manifesto is an amazingly awesome band.
http://streetlightmanifesto.com
go there and like it, bitches.
They put on a fucking sweet show Saturday at the Knitting Factory.
I miss Jack.
I miss Jack a TON.
I’m at Tony’s now so I’m in walking distance of his house, but he hasn’t answered me as to if he’s home or not so yeah. :o not going anywhere.
He told me he loves me today. I felt my heart beat with life, and then sink again when he stopped replying.
I need to see him.
I’m very sick.
1 hour of sleep.
2 750mg Vicodin.
Empty stomach.
Lots of throwing up, willingly and non willingly.
Fever.
Crying. Lots of crying.
GOD I MISS JACK
ugh. I hate myself...
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::previous LJ/myspace post...exactly how I feel once again::
Everytime I wake up I think...oh great, here I am. Still alive. What will today bring? Nothing. Exactly. I have no point in being here anymore.
I don’t live for anyone, and I don’t want to live for myself.
All I do is sleep, eat too much, and sit on my ass online. That’s 98% of my day. The other 2% is spent in the bathroom bathing or on the potty. Ha..potty. ANYWAY...I have no real purpose for being here.
I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal, although I wish I had the balls to finally get it over with. It would hurt a few people right away, but they’d get over it.
Rock bottom is complete and utter emptiness. Complete and utter NUMBNESS.
Rock bottom is going to sleep every night, hoping and praying to God or Jesus or whatever you pray to that YOU WON’T WAKE UP!
Rock bottom is comparing yourself to everyone else and wishing your life was half as good as theirs so you can TASTE HAPPINESS AGAIN.
Rock bottom is listening to songs that aren’t even meant to be sad...and bawling all the way through them, wishing they would DROWN OUT THE SCREAMING IN YOUR HEAD.
Rock bottom is PARANOIA towards EVERYTHING.
Rock bottom is thinking the way I do ALL THE TIME.
Rock bottom is ME.
Show me the shadow where true meaning lies So much more dismay in empty eyes
"....The fact is, I can’t fool you. Anyone of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100un. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I Walk out in stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it. (and I do, God, believe me I do but it’s not enough.) I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt, and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, under appreciated
I understand you Kurt...I really, truly, honestly do. Maybe some of you understand him too. If you understand that...you understand what I’m going through right now.
Not only that, but my intense sickness is coming back. More of a mental sickness, though. Whenever I try and sleep, paranoia sets in. I hear my front door open and shut, and footsteps. I hear the TV buzzing like it’s on...but it’s not. I hear voices even though everyone is asleep and all the TV’s in the house are off. When I finally do get to sleep after the voices cease (or I block them out) and I cry, I have intense hallucinations as I drift to sleep, and insane dreams that feel real. I have dreams where I’ve ripped my stomach open and I wake up and my stomach hurts. So I check and nothing is there...... My stomach constantly has hunger pains, but the thought of food makes me vomit. I can’t eat anything. I just wish all of this would stop. I want to be normal again. Is that so wrong?
-May 1, 04
Amazing how I can feel the same 3 months later...
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::the sanity slips slowly from my fingertips...watch it DRIP::
One of those days when you don’t wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sucks
Life going downhill again. It’s not like it was unexpected, though.
Everybody saw it coming
It’s a problem when it takes almost 2 hours to convince yourself to pull your bag of rotting flesh out of your bed so you can do "normal" things....Right?
DADDY DADDY, STOP YELLING AT MOMMY!! SHE DOES THE BEST SHE CAN!!!
shut the fuck up. go back in your room. this isn’t any of your concern
THE YELLING! IT HURTS MY EARS!
JUST SHUT UP!!!
MOMMY MOMMY, STOP CRYING! I KNOW IT HURTS BUT PLEASE STOP!
i can’t take this anymore, i’m leaving!
You say that all the time and you never go anywhere...
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
[has she ever?]
I
My day will come. MY day will come. my DAY will come. my day WILL come. my day will COME.
come. CoMe. cOmE. COme. coME. ComE. cOMe. COME...
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::crazy for feeling so...LONELY...::
I’m waiting for them to fnd me. I’m waiting for the day when someone else calls the shots.
My rape paper dress on fire.
I’ve pushed this as far as it can go. My beauty comes from collision. Now it’s out of my hands.
I’m writing this in the dark so no one can see. I’m walking in circles trying to make a spiral to lift me up. I’m playing piano with a couple of ghosts they never say anything they just listen. I start with water and I end with the moon. It’s the same everyday.
In my dreams I can fit into the car. In my dreams the bricks talk back. In my dreams its always twilight and I walk so slowly no one notices me move. In the morning it’s over. At night it starts again. I fall slowly. I never get up. It’s not a prison. It’s not a place.
I like the buckle to cut into my skin.
I count on the sweater to hold me up. I count on the stars to stay awake. I let the food go bad. I let myself go bad too. I hang my hair on the clothesline to dry and step on the sand carefully so I don’t kill anything below. I keep my cobwebs on tight.
I’m wearing all my watches to listen to the time go by. It’s easy you know. It helps you cry. Television never turns off. My fingertips are cold but my eyes are always too warm. I’m not getting sick. I’m staying there.
I can climb a waterfall if no one’s around. The paper always stays with me because the memory goes. I could keep walking if there was a place worth going. Hungry from the lack of god, I read, curl up, cry. Do they let burnouts into heaven? Now I am blind and bitter and blackened. Have to pour water on me in the middle of the night. Have to baptise the other one here.
This paper heart belongs to no one. Not even me.
Sometimes I suck in the smoke just so I can spit it out.
Tuesday’s I’m an angel. Thursday’s I’m a cat. Saturday’s I wait for something to happen. Some day I’ll break my back and pick out the bones like pins from a doll, put them in a box and crumble them with my hands. When the phone rings I talk to the dead, ask them for regrets.
Sometimes I pray for someone to turn off the radio station in my head. Other times I try to tune it in so I can listen. Mostly it just goes shhhhh.
I’m part wind, part dirt. I’m not what you expected.
There are very small streets on my palms small enough to walk on. Small enough to get lost in. I would very much like to get lost. I’ve done the pill thing. Done the misery thing. Now I’m knitting together the time. I swear I’ll be there and I’ll never get there in a box. Maybe crawl out in the dark. Scratch Scratch Scratch.
What I heard from the wind was secret. What no one told me was worth nothing. Brain turns like a bicycle and everything will have to wait. Stealing storms is no way to live. Next time I’ll steal one for someone else. I’ll remember to breathe. I’ll stop keeping birds under the bed. I’ll let the sun come up on it’s own. I cook my breath on iron.
The door goes out the window. The sheets go down the drain. Everything wants to be free. Soft or loud. As sharp as a cloud. Everything wants to be measured. Weave what’s left of the heirlooms in a crown. Storm around uncautioned.
Have to have something sacred or I’ll stay scared.
Small pile of dust on the bed to lie in. Small piece of damage I can still make. Small war to fight in my head. Small ring to pretend I’m taken.
I stalk hallways trying not to make noise. Now I’m married to the noise. Twitch until the heart attack takes over. Something has to. Have to get out of this head. I will write my dead name in water.
I found religion in my wrists. It’s there under the veins. I used to think I was a princess because my blood was blue. See?
MOMMY, AM I CRAZY YET?
no dear, go back to sleep. everything is just fine...
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::You look so GORGEOUS when you look up at me like that...::
AS YOU GASP FOR AIR TONIGHT!!!
Look into my eyes...
Say it like you mean it...
One last chance before I rip your chest open with these red fingernails and devour your insides...
that didn’t seem...sincere enough...
Okay okay okay ONE more chance...
Oops. Looks like you ruined it....
Look into my eyes...
Cry like you mean it...
One last look...
end.
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::CHRONICALS OF VAN JACKIE SIMPSON::
"Thats why I fuckin love this girl, she understands me"
"Yeah we arent goin out now and we prolly wont for a damn long time, but i know im gonna marry this girl..."
:sigh: if only I was inside his head...
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::He’ll NEVER SEE::
and it’s probably NOT who you think...
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::FUCK YOU::
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,
the one thing that I cannot give.
[Did you ever see that one person...
and the way they do these things
and it hurts you so much it’s like choking choking choking
down the embers]
I can give you freedom from your guilt,
with a flick of my wrist onto yours.
I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile.
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss and no regrets;
you don’t deserve good bye.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss and no good bye.
Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss.
No story book ending for this fairy tale of you.
Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your
lifeless hand.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.
FUCK YOU! YES, YOU! YOU FUCKING KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT! YOU MOST OF ALL...AND THEN...
FUCK YOU TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO’S A SHADY ASS MOTHERFUCKER!
FUCK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO’S EVER TALKED SHIT ABOUT ME AND PRETENDED TO LIKE ME SOOOO MUCH!
FUCK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO’S EVER MADE ME CRY!
FUCK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO’S EVER MADE ME CUT IN THE PAST, AND WANT TO CUT NOW!
FUCK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO THINKS THEY KNOW HOW I FEEL INSIDE!
probably a lot more people I’d love to say FUCK YOU too, but I’m feeling weak and tired so I think I’m going to go sleep and hopefully I won’t wake up in the morning.
HATE ALWAYS, E/>
Venescha
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::FRIENDS CUT::
FRIENDS BEFORE: 86
FRIENDS NOW: 61
I deleted the people who never update, basically.
THE PEOPLE WHO I KEPT ON BETTER START FUCKING LEAVING ME GSPOTS OR I WILL delete you. THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!!!!
And I’m out :)
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::HAPPY ENDING...er...BEGINNING...::
But yes, I have my nu comp. I am fucking ecstatic about that. :)
I think tonight I will start doing friends cuts, starting with the people who haven’t updated in months.
I’m also going to be getting nu MSN and YAHOO accounts tonight too, I do believe. SO if you’re on my list for either one of those [or want to be] leave me a gspot or message me on AIM "Eyes0faTRAGEDY x" and yeah we’ll get that squared away
My back hurts. My boobs hurt. I hate being a girl >:O
<3 LIBERATION BARBIE
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::RELIABILITY::
Jack told me that he wants to go to the melo bonfire tomorrow. He said this on erm...last Thursday so June 24th. I -really- want to go. If not for the bonfire, just to be able to see Jack and go to the beach with him and stuff, since I -rarely- get to see him and such.
The only problem I can see is getting there, since I don’t know if Louis is busy, or if he’d even want to go. And then if Jackie boy was planning on driving us, I don’t know if he’d want to since the whole..."You’re not supposed to drive people around under 20 within the first 6 months of having a lisence" and he just got his license a lil while ago so...I don’t know if he’d risk that. He -did- drive a lot by himself when he -didn’t- have a license yet do I don’t know.
I’ve been texting his cell at least 2-3 times a day now with random messages, telling him to keep in touch with me before I get pissed off and block him again etc etc. But he’s only texted me back once when I told him "John’s being mean. I’m sad". He said "Hey I’m a work. I’ll make it better. Tell John I’m gonna fuck him up" [which I of course didn’t tell John because I didn’t want to cause any more drama than necessary.] I can understand this because he works, his name is still online even when his cell is off, and he might get my messages when I’m not online anymore...but yeah anyway...
V want go bonfire with Jack.
Jack not respond to messages.
This make V sad.
Like this: =(
________________________________
My NU COMP is in the living room, in boxes still. For whatever reason my dad doesn’t want to set it up until Friday which...I don’t get. I want it nowwww :whine:
I’m going to take my test for my permit [finally] on Friday. I’m scurred. Ramon told me the Palmdale office test is easier than the Lancaster office test so...lets just hope he’s right!
I’m off. Toodloo. :)
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::IMPORTANT!! IF YOU WANT TO BE ON MY LIST REPLY TO THIS OR GET IN TOUCH....::
<
FRIENDS CUTS!!!
I am going to be deleting people off my friends list probably tomorrow or Thursday when I set up my new comp [so the process will be faster[[this comp blows]] ]
ANYWAY...IF you want to stay on my friends list than you need to
LEAVE ME A GSPOT MESSAGE TELLING ME SO!! if you don’t THEN I WILL DELETE YOU!!!!!
If for some reason MELO is being a cunt, you need to GET IN TOUCH WITH ME SOMEHOW!!!
AIM: Eyes0faTRAGEDY x
YAHOO: AcandyRAZORBLADE [doubtful I’ll be on until the new comp is up BUT!!! you can leave me an offline message with your melo name and I’ll make sure that gets counted :) ]
MSN: BloodySinz@msn.com
SO PEOPLE! you know what to do. If I don’t hear from you YOU WILL BE DELETED!!!!
I am thinking of making my melo FRIENDS ONLY so this is important!!!
[[why do I feel like no one is going to listen to me...]]
::shows some skin:: cmon people ;)
PURE SEX
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::NU::
Check it out d00ds.
OLD POLL
So...Ben Moody left Evanescence...why?
37 % said He was jealous Amy was getting more press...
31 % said Who the fuck is Ben Moody?...
14 % said Amy wouldn’t fuck him anymore(on the off chance she was) so he walked out...
11 % said Amy realized she was too good for him and kicked him out...
7 % said He wanted to ruin the band...
71 total votes.
Interesting...
SO yeah, vote on my nu poll and compliment my shit, motherfuckers. :)
I love you all.
PS: visit my other stuff
LIVEJOURNAL: http://livejournal.com/~bactine
MYSPACE: http://profile.myspace.com/users/1660723
OH OH OH
PPS: I get a NU COMP on Wednesday! :) KICK FUCKIN ASS. I’m going to be cutting my friends lists on MELO, LJ, MYSPACE, AIM, YAHOO, and MSN!!!! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE CUT, EXPRESS AN INTEREST IN TALKING TO ME! If not, burbye! :waves:
:)
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry?::
You fell away,
What more can I say?
The feelings evolved,
I won’t let it out,
I can’t replace...
Your screaming face,
Feeling the sickness inside...
So many words
Can’t describe my face
This feeling’s evolved
So soon to break out
I can’t relate
to a happy state
feeling the blood run inside
Why won’t you die?
Your blood in mine
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER::
*STARRING*
Van Jackie Simpson: The lover and the fighter
Venescha Thomson: The protector
Anthony Kremer: V’s best friend who wants the best for her
John: The ex boyfriend who wants Venescha back
Mike: Jackie’s friend who brings nasty ass ho’s to Jackie’s house and annoys Venescha
Chris: Jackie’s foster bro who wonders why V still bothers with Jackie.
Tiffany: The neighbor who keeps an eye on Jackie, without knowing it.
Louis: Another foster bro, and Tiffany’s ex bf.
With many more appearances from family, friends, and enemies.
IN THEATRES
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::DOWNWARD SPIRAL::
Yesterday Dying: I’m not gonna let you fall apart either
:sigh:
Everything is falling apart.
Me.
My friends.
Me and John.
:sigh:
I wish I had the strength to put everything back together again...but an ant can’t build a house so...
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::DRAIN THE BLOOD FROM THIS VALENTINE::
Asleep you set the fire in your own house
And the night was a knife that cut
And I’m paralyzed
It was the first time face to face
I’m crossing the line
Talking to the other side of death
Hearing the words that choke memories into flatlines
I’m calling your name hoping for something to wash these dreams of you away
CAN’T WE DIE?!
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::STEPS ASCENDING::
I ran down the stairs
and into the garden,
put both my hands into the soil.
in the spring,
you will bloom,
like her heart,
through the blouse,
in the back of the ambulance,
as it turned and turned down the street
(one more turn won’t you come back to me?)
as it turned on its red lights,
you were turning into
red roses
red roses
red roses
red roses
but I’m not giving up.
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::First one to COMPLAIN, leaves with a BLOOD STAIN::
HERE’S A LITTLE NOTE FOR THE IDIOTS WHO WANT TO COME TO MY MELO AND GIVE ME SHIT FOR STATING MY OPINIONS:
FUCK OFF! IT’S AS SIMPLE AS THAT! IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, DON’T READ IT. I WILL POST WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT HERE.
ONCE AGAIN, YOU DON’T LIKE IT, EAT MY FUCKING CUNT AND STOP VISITING MY MELO.
:) thanx, bye.
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::Just a little rant::
There is one person on this earth that annoys me to no end, and I’ve never even met her.
I’m sick and fucking tired of her "Holier Than Thou" attitude. I’m sick of her shitty poems. I’m sick of her barely bleeding wrists on my computer screen. I’m sick of her complaining about her life like its a total tragedy. I’m sick of her backstabbing ways. I’m sick of her fake piercings. I’m sick of HER. God fucking damnit I can’t take it anymore, I needed to get this out. GRRR.
Jess IMed me tonight and started telling me how Angel really is, since they were "best friends" and all. She told me how Angel is a whiney baby who cries and bitches until she gets what she wants. She seems like a very controlling person, and I can’t stand that!!
You don’t fucking KNOW what depression is. You don’t fucking KNOW what love is. You have no FUCKING CLUE about life. Try walking in my shoes for awhile. You wouldn’t come out alive. I put on a happy face every fucking day for everyone, so they won’t be worried about me anymore. I’M DIEING INSIDE AND NOBODY KNOWS! I’m not saying it’s good to hide your pain but flaunting it is a desperate attempt to get people to feel sorry for you.
You are the most self centered person I have ever had the displeasure of conversing with. When Ro died, you know what happened? "NO! DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR HER! DON’T BE SAD FOR HER! BE SAD FOR ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! I NEED LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE ALL THE FUCKING TIME WHICH IS WHY I HAVE A NEW GUY ON MY NUTS EVERY WEEK! WHEN I GET BORED WITH THEM, I DUMP THEM, AND THEN MOVE ON THE NEXT DAY!" Can you feel no sympathy for anyone else??!! Oh, but when Sean/Shawn whatever dies, it’s "FEEL SORRY FOR ME!!!!! I’M SAD! I LOST SOMEONE!!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! CRY WITH ME!!! TELL ME YOU’RE SORRY!!! LOVE MEEEE!!!" God fucking damnit, shut the fuck up. If you didn’t care about Ro, why should we all care about Sean/Shawn WHATEVER!? I STILL said I’m sorry for your loss, even though I didn’t know him. You know why? BECAUSE I AM A GOOD PERSON!
Angel Olivo, you are a cold hearted person. No, wait. You have no heart at all.
Put down the razors, and pick up some common sense, mmkay babe? Yeah, your life is hard, but I guaran-fucking-tee it’s no worse than mine. When you grow the fuck up you will realize how idiotic you have been acting. I predict that by that time, you will have lost all of your true friends like Jess who actually CARED about you, even though you didn’t give a shit. They will all be replaced with drones who ACT like your friend, just for personal gain. Drugs, Sex, whatever the case. It doesn’t matter. Either way, if you keep acting the way you do you will die alone at a young age, with NOTHING!!!!
In short: Grow the fuck up. Stop being a self-centered "world revolves around me so pay attention to me" bitch. Learn manners and COMMON SENSE!
Wow, I feel so much better. :)
_________________________
PS: Jess, I love you. I’m sorry that she was such a fucking cunt to you. You don’t deserve that. I promise I’ll never be so cold hearted to you :heart:
PPS: I don’t want ANYONE ELSE’S SHIT ABOUT THIS POST! THESE ARE PERSONAL FEELINGS AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE THEM YOU CAN SUCK MY CURRENTLY BLEEDING CUNT AND GET THE FUCK OFF MY MELO!!! Mkay ThnxBye.
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::to do list::
+Wake up
+Eat breakfast
+Decide on clothes, hair, and makeup
+Shower
+Do makeup
+Do hair
+Put clothes on
+Make sure purse is packed with money, phone number, and such
+Go to bus stop
+Ride bus to mall
+Call Dana’s dad
+Drive to Anaheim
+Go to House Of Blues
+See GODHEAD, SOCIETY 1, STILL LIFE PROJECTOR, AND ORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+Cream panties
+Drive home
:)
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
:: Perfection ::
Yesterday Dying:
i want to write the perfect song,
and play it just for you,
while you are tangled up in sleep.
i need you more than ill ever know
until i stop breathing
my lungs will take you for granted.
<3333
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::Please don’t cry, baby. It will be alright...::
These tears I cry fall fast and hit hard
Time slows and whirls around me as I focus on those few tear drops
They’re forming a puddle around my feet...
I hope I drown in them.
Liqudzero: be happy for me
Liqudzero: its not often I get play
Eyes0faTRAGEDY x: I cant be happy for others when I cant be happy for myself
So maybe blowjobs do make women subserviant...
Maybe I LIKE being subserviant...
or maybe it’s...i like the power i gain from having a guys most prized posession in my mouth, doing with it what ever i please...
BITE DOWN HARD, AND LISTEN TO YOU SCREAM
Oh please, cum for me baby. I’ll make it worth your while.
cum and blood look so fucking good together...like a candy cane swirl...only saltier
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
::BLAHBLAHBLAH::
Here I am. 1:10am. Sitting alone online. Key word: ALONE
I just read my ex best friends melo. Nothing too interesting, just some survey shit. I got to thinking...I really miss having a best friend.
Tony, I know you’re probably like "what, I thought I was her best friend" and you ARE. It’s just...we aren’t the same KIND of best friends as the one’s I’m used to and you know it. We tell each other everything, and all that other best friend junk...but something is missing. Something is missing from the "friend" category of my life.
I miss having a GIRL best friend. I miss having weekly sleepovers. I miss being able to like...have someone to run to and hug whenever I need it. I can’t get gratification from a fucking computer screen, as much as I’d like to. I need physical affection from my best friend (kind of like whoever I’m dating...without the physical, it doesn’t feel the same). I mean...yeh I could hug Tony all I want (if I could see him that is) but for some reason I also think it would be weird because of Kim. I know she wouldn’t start thinking things were going on between me and him (because I don’t steal peoples bf/gfs or even try to...thats...hella wrong) but like...I still think it would seem wrong and I hate rubbing people the wrong way, ya know?
I just...I don’t know. Wow, I’m starting to cry...THIS is what’s missing from my life...THIS is why I’m so fucking depressed....it all makes sense...
I was an AMAZING student in terms of GPA and behavior and everything. I was seemingly happy for most of the year. Towards the end when I started losing Melissa it went downhill sort of. Middle of summer we grew close again since she was moving and all. Then...September 4th I found out about the betrayal and...I went completely insane. I didn’t do my work anymore. I’d sit in class and write my angsty poetry and cut stars and words into my arm with the razorblades I’d keep in my wallet to keep me sane. I HAD TO BLEED TO KNOW I WAS ALIVE! I went from almost straight A student with 3.9GPA to almost straight F student with about...a 1-2GPA.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE! It all makes fucking sense...
Now, 1:24am. Bawling in my computer chair. Listening to Good Charlotte to reminisce about freshman year and when I was "happy"...
I want to leave this fucking town with all it’s scandalous people. I WANT OUT!!! I want new people who’s goal in life isn’t to comsume the most cocaine without dieing, fuck more than 1,000 people in the year, and see how much shit about me they can spread around to everyone and their grandma. I HATE this fucked up Valley. I WANT OUT NOW!!!
:contemplates running away:
Nah, that wouldn’t work. Just fuck me over more in the end.
"It’s better to burn out than to fade away"
How true...How very fucking true.
- Touch (0)
- Bang (0)
blood_red
About Me
Whateva, whateva, it's my hot body I do what I want.
Real Name:Venescha, but of course you all knew that.
Birthday:
Nov 7 1988
Chat Name:
ohsoTANGLED
Disposition:
On the fence
Location:
Palmdizzle California.
Sex?:
CUNT. bleeding cunt.
Statistics
Today:
| Hits | 1 |
All Time:
| Posts | 569 |
| Gspots | 1 |
| Hits | 4,959 |
| Karma | 1,136 |
Details
| Joined | Feb.26.03 |
| Online | Sep.17.09 |