I saw the recipe for Plum and Cardamom Cupcakes over on No Turnip, and decided with it being plum season and all - what better way to celebrate my dear Melissa's birthday! So Plum and Cardamom Cupcakes it was. And then I realized that, surprise surprise, I had used up all the cardamom - so i substituted pumpkin pie spice to give it that little kick. My recipe here was extremely simple:

1 box yellow cake mix - (follow as directed, but substitute the puree for the water)
plums, pureed (i mixed red and black)
2 heaping tsp. pumpkin pie mix

mix. pour into cupcake cups. bake as directed. Blammo..

The batter had a really delicate pink tinge to it, and had I not used up every single drop of red food coloring when I made red velvet cake back in June, I would have kicked it up with a few drops. The frosting was basic creamcheese frosting. I was going to perk it up with some spices but i was lazy and you know what? cream cheese frosting is fuckin delicious. My actual frosting job isn't great - cupcakes are tricky for frosting, at least for me, and i'm not what you would call a frosting type of girl. I'm a plain, cake on it's own or pie girl so frosting always seems a bit much - but hey these are not for me. So frosting ahoy!

final verdict? very moist and sweet without being overly sweet. The plums give it a great taste and the pie spice compliments it well. They aren't going to knock your socks off with a strong flavour, but they taste delish. I had to cook them a bit longer than i would have normally, although it may be my oven, which is still new. I really liked the recipe and i might use a little less liquid next time (i did add a bit of water) but overall it's a keeper.

See the world, get some experiences outside of your bullshit town and then come talk to me.

Learn something for real - understand it for real, and be able to have an informed, intelligent conversation about things beyond government conspiracies, how evil the man is, drugs, and the crap you watch on t.v.

Learn what it's like to earn your living instead of getting it from your parents.

Remember that love and passion are not all you need in life.




Grow the fuck up, kid.

"I just can't give you what you want out of this relationship." You nod. He was right, of course. His career had always come first for him, and you understood that. You'd never asked for the ring and the marriage and the house, but he knew - he knew before you did - that eventually, that's what you wanted. Not now, not even soon, but eventually. In five or six years, maybe.

"It's okay." It wasn't okay, but what can you say in that situation? Defeated and in shock, you nod your head until it all sinks in, because it just feels so unbelievable and unreal. Why do we always say we're fine when it's obvious we're not? Because there's nothing we can do. It hits you that he's really just giving up, and thats the part that really hurts.

You look at his eyes - those beautiful blue eyes that you fell in love with as a teenager, that you continuued to fall in love with all through college. Those damn sad blue irish eyes. You want to beg him not to do this to you, to really think about this, because he loves you and you love him; and you want to kiss him and run your hands through his ginger hair one last time.

you keep your hands in your pockets and force yourself to look away from his blue eyes. If you don't see how much this is hurting him, you reason, it wont hurt as bad.

"I don't- I don't want to." He looks at the floor and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He's wearing those jeans from high school, the straight legged ones. He fills them out better these days. "It just isn't fair for me to keep doing this to you."

You want to say it isn't his decision, but you've said those words a thousand times to your friends. You've wanted him to make this decision for along time - you just dont like the decision he's made. You both know it isn't fair. He's just being man enough to admit it.

And just like that it's over. 6 years down the train. 6 years of love letters, of tender looks, gentle touches, stupid jokes, making out in the back of the truck and kicking the cat out of the bedroom. Just like that, it's over and there's no more 'we.'

He holds you close one last time, kisses your lips gently, then your forehead, and then you're watching him turn away with a quiet apology and get into his white grand am, the one he just bought that just doesn't have the same feel as that old F-150.

It takes me a few minutes to gather the strength to go back inside, and a few more to let the full force of it hit you. It takes about 45 seconds for the tears to come, and 4 hour for them to really stop.

I can't help it. I know it's unreasonable. But I am annoyed anyway. I get that he wants to see his friends now that he's home - that doesn't bug me. It doesnt bug me when he blows off our plans to spend the day together because his best friend is beginning the divorce process and needs his help. I get that, and I am more than okay wih taking a backseat to it, because it is serious. I can come later.

But when he tells me to call back at a certain time so that we can finalize our plans for the evening and then he tells me that he isnt going to be in the beach house as long as he said he had it for but he's trying to find a place for his friends to stay nearby, but he's just going to go back to the beach house and shower and then sleep for a few hours instead of me coming over there or us going out...

It just frustrates me. I blew off other plans to see him today. After 7 months, he's finally home, and I feel like he'd rather spend time with everyone else - and then to top it all off, he randomly drops in a little "yeah i'm gonna fly out to see my mom" as he's saying he'll call me tomorrow to figure out plans. I have no problem with him seeing family, obviously, but uh, he might have wanted to say something to me about it. I'm sick of finding things out by him randomly inserting things into conversations. Not to mention we already MADE plans for tomorrow!! ><

He's so frustrating. I love him, but sometimes I feel like strangling him.

I graduate next week.

Then I come home and...........I dont know. i dont have a job yet. Probably just tool around until Logan comes home, then tool around some more until i get a job.

Im excited to be done, but I don't know what to do with myself now that I am.

Oh snap.

5 years on melo. Great Googily Moogily. Thanks for the warm wishes.

The guy from PMEG emailed me. Heh. Thats kind of cool. No spots available in reno but that is JUST FINE since i hate reno.

I've got a bassoon again. I am so excited about playing again. I missed it's dulcet tones (hah!)

On the down side, i'e been practicing all morning and my embouchure is shot to hell and my dexterity i awful. I'm playing through my beginners book and holy crap, I couldn't even get through 'old macdonald'. I used to play the most insane stuff. It's kind of disheartening.

Band practice is on thursday. I am going to be ready if it kills me.

Can one properly snort a straight line of coke off an erect penis? Both parties must not touch the penis with their hands.

Everyone I know is having a baby.

the most recent in the long (VERY long) list of friends and acquaintences having children - my roommate last year (Nicole, not Patty) and her boyfriend (Mark, my old drinking buddy) have a beautiful baby girl named marina.

As I predicted, I was dragged against my will by Lauren to see Enchanted. Like all shitty romantic comedies, it was heart warming, cute, and Patrick Dempsey was a seriously good looking dude. Amy Adams looks better as a Brunette (see Charlie Wilsons War). For the record, I cannot stand chick flicks. I would have rather seen hitman again, or beowulf. thats about as much romantic comedy as I can handle.

I love her to pieces, she is my best friend, but she has g-d-awful taste in film. She doesnt even know who Vincent Price is. Ughhh it makes me so sad.

I feel as if I am suffocating here at home. I'm thankful this is just a visit - as much as I miss my friends I am going insane being here. I want to just go to the beach and sit for a while, get my head on straight a bit.

I dont understand people who still believe in fairy tale romances.

I think I need to really start updating this more often. I miss the community here; it has something LJ and Blogger don't.

It's been a crazy year; I've been with Logan since last december, and it's been both whirlwind and comfortable all at once. I can honestly say i've never been happier in a relationship - we have our problems, every couple does, but after all this time he still makes me smile and gives me butterflies. Not too shabby. He's deployed (who ever thought i'd get with a military guy, eh?) and due back...well, not for a while.

School is still school - don't let anyone fool you, college sucks just as much as high school except you pay for the stress. In my last update I was starting Junior year.. now i'm finishing my senior year. I managed to finish up fall semester with a 3.32 GPA between the constant drinking and random road trips, camping trips, and trips into San Francisco and Beserkly.

I made a 15 hour road trip to washington to see my boyfriend before he deployed, which was amazing. I know i'm a total city kid at heart, but the older I get, the more I love getting out into nature. His place is in the literal middle of butt-fuckin' nowhere and I gotta be honest, other than the lack of internet connection, it was awesome. Of course, we almost got rained in, but it made me start thinking (seriously) about all of the things we've talked about. Buying up some land, building a house.. pets, time together...For the first time in a while it wasn't completely terrifying to think of that stuff.

I'm at my mother's place for the holidays; Spending time with friends, mostly Lauren, but I did see Kim and Chris, and i'll be spending new years with Gina and Kirby and Jason. We'll see how the last bit of time off goes.

My birthday was really mellow - we didnt do much, although a few days later Lauren took me ice skating at the Del. I'm an old lady now - 22! it seems weird to me... I never really thought I'd make it this far. Now look at me - ready to graduate college, in a steady relationship, about to start a damned good career. Who the hell thought I'd end up reasonably well-adjusted? Christ, not me, thats for sure.

Mostly i've been waiting for that first call Logan - he hasn't called me since he deployed and i'm trying to be okay with that. I know he is very busy and the phones suck and he'll call when he can. but UGHHHHH This is what I hate about deployments.

Holy shit. i forgot all aboutthis place.

You would not beleive the stress associated with college finals, prepping for a training cruise AND packing up a dorm room.