I am constantly wondering whether Rashan and I are right for each other. It's a constant battle trying to figure out what I should do. He's such a sweet guy and I know he loves me and would do anything for me. And it seems like every time I am overly frustrated with him he does something sweet.

I find myself doing things to push him away, kind of hoping he makes my decision for me.

I spend a lot of time in my room. Especially when the kids are around. I just have no desire to be around it all. I'm so sick of the drama that I pick up extra shifts and sometimes leave work and just walk so I don't have to go home right away.

I think I'm done for now. Having trouble concentrating on this anyway. >.<