hollamaniac

hes gone but

Submitted by hollamaniac on Mon.03.15.10 9:48pm

he asked me to come visit him already :) so i guess i know where i'll be for part of spring break :)

it was sad to say bye. sad to think of all the things we've done together.. but happy kind of at the same time cuz they were so good... guess its not completely over :)

oh and i went on a date with someone else the day after he left.. oops!

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wednesday is gonna fucking suck

Submitted by hollamaniac on Sun.03.07.10 8:45pm

again, please don't move.. don't go...

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theres hope for everyone!

Submitted by hollamaniac on Thu.03.04.10 9:12pm

i just met a couple that met on match.com and they are literally like one of those commercials.. they are so in love and too precious! ahh!

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go jessica

Submitted by hollamaniac on Wed.03.03.10 5:17pm

"it really is the heart of a woman that makes her beautiful"

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come on man

Submitted by hollamaniac on Wed.02.24.10 10:32pm

tell me if you're gonna be in town or not.. im not gonna be mad if you're not but i wanna go to semi formal with you and i would like to know now if you wont be here cuz i can scramble for another date. who will suck cuz it wont be you.

UGHH

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day-late valentine

Submitted by hollamaniac on Tue.02.16.10 10:23pm

so my valentines day was an average day..
the next one was awesommeeee!
day: beach all day long with some d chi's and the roomies (soo hot in february!)
night: chill christie and ted.. smoke some shisha.. which was terrible
then it was like my mind was read and they combined and he was perfect.
"drive me home.. and then accidentally stay the night"
yes please!
get in the car and we kiss and the end of do you remember by jay sean was playing
"do you remember all of the times we had? lets bring it back..."
and he goes: this song is fitting for this moment.
and then we're laying in bed and he looks me in the eyes and smiles and is all: "this is good, i miss you.. you're cute"

GODDDDDDDD yesss! i was so happpyy!

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plan stan

Submitted by hollamaniac on Thu.02.11.10 12:34am

well i dont really know what it is.. but its gonna happen. i feel it.

dont expect it, it'll come.
just let loose and enjoy life.. live free, love much, laugh often.

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excursions

Submitted by hollamaniac on Wed.02.10.10 4:46pm

all i wanna do is travel and take photos and since im in school and kinda stuck in one place.... i cant really do that

but i can go on little outings each day (or most.. or some) to get away and take photos..

also helps me explore the area around me. yesterday i went to morro bay and today i went to pirates cove.. got some cool images.. and ive been to both those places before, but just getting out and being along and taking photos is so relaxing to me and its just making me wanna travel the world and photograph what i see even more!

i cant wait!

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chriopractorrrr

Submitted by hollamaniac on Mon.02.08.10 12:30pm

i have a crooked spine, i found out on friday... so THATS why mu back has been killing me for years!

1. its curved to the right
2. its curved to the front.

damn. but its not scoliosis.. its not curved enough to be diagnosed as that.. so thats good.

im gonna do these exercises the doc gave me and my spine will be better! straighter.. not perfect.. but better!

at least now i know why my backs been hurting.. and why my balance is so off on one side, and why a lot of stuff is easier on one side. answers! sooo nice.

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its been one year

Submitted by hollamaniac on Sat.02.06.10 11:54pm

tomorrow will be one year from the day troy marschang passed away. troy was the most amazing perosn i knew.. he was the most accomplished person at my high school.

troy i miss you so much andi cant believe you're gone. you're more missed than you could ever imagine.. you changed so many lives... even one year after you've been gone.

it was the most unfortunate passing.. and thinking back on today.. i saw 2 car cashes.. I MISS YOU TROY. I MISS YOU.

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last night in my house of 5 years

Submitted by hollamaniac on Fri.01.01.10 6:23am

my family is moving back to bangkok in a week-ish.. and im leaving to head back to california tomorrow morning.. so tonight is my last night sleeping in this house that i spent 3 years of HS in and a couple years as an alumni visiting back home.

its kinda weird to think that im not gonna come back to this house anymore when i come home.. its gonna be really weird that im going "home" to bangkok and not kl. im sad..

i love this house and i love kl and as hard as it was for me to move here.. its hard as hell to have my family leave. im obviously gonna be spending most of my xmas break next year here in kl again ahah shona/lizzie/anyone.. get ready for me to sleep over hahaha!

its been a great house.. lots of memories.. its also kinda weird cuz im the last one of my friends to move away from the neighborhood.. zeys parents moved, logans parents are in a new house in KL and johns parents moved too.. now im gone.. its such a lame neighborhood now haha.

oh and happy 2010! new decade.. ive now lived in 4.. but im only 20. wo0o0o0ooo0o0o.

welll goodnight. im tired. and new years sure took it out of me.. didnt get to bed till the sun came up.. thanks zouk!

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asiiiiaaaa

Submitted by hollamaniac on Fri.12.18.09 6:38pm

been in asia for a few days now.. got to KL 7 hours later than planned.. delayed planes and shit.. and then the next day i had in KL and then the next day my mom and i head to bangkok to.. be in bangkok!

got to see the condo they're moving into.. its nice! and went shopping and hung around.. i love bangkok, it had been so long since i had been here! and i lived here for 7 years! i forgot about a lot of it :(( i hate that

and now im in the bkk airport waiting for my flight back to KL.. gonna be there for about a week and then off the phuket with the parents to chill and tan and beach and be relaxed.. and then back to KL for new years and then back to amerrca.. :( kinda feels like a short break and i get like barely any days with my friends.. but oh well i guess...

its nice to be in asia.. its been a year since ive been home.. im excited to get back to slo but i dont wanna leave here at the same time..

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makes sense? i think not...

Submitted by hollamaniac on Thu.12.10.09 9:04pm

bill for alc: 102.26.
bill for jello 14.60 something
apparently cups were 10 bucks (almost)
and two 30 packs was 40 bucks.

i paid 50, ali paid 40... thats almost allll of the alc.

and the others say that everyone paid "TONS"
i say... everyone paid 50? cuz that doesnt seem fair to me if i did and you guys didnt.
i tried to fight it already.. i hate. a lot of things.

they didnt buy anything else.. thats like 60 bucks split between the 2 of them. im not made of money. pay me back.

i knew i didnt want to have this damn party at our house. i cant wait to get home. im sick of "catty bitches".

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KARMA. IS. A. BITCH.

Submitted by hollamaniac on Wed.12.02.09 10:11pm

but i didnt do anything wrong!!!

today:
-sat for three hours at nissan waitng for my car to get serviced.. THREE HOURS.
-listened to this woman talk about her restraining order against her dad...
-car got washed for free! THEN A BIRD POOPED ON IT.
-found out my paper was due today instead of a week from today
-professor letting me turn it in tomorrow! BUT IM COMPLETELY STUCK.
-got a parking ticket

WHAT THE FUCK WORLD!??!

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fuck fuck fuck

Submitted by hollamaniac on Wed.12.02.09 3:59pm

my 4 to 6 page hinduism essay that i have been working on for next wed....

was due TODAY. im in class now adn i dont have the essay.

OH MY GOD.

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christmas list, and general wants

Submitted by hollamaniac on Sat.11.28.09 11:53pm

in no particular order

1. new snowbaord jacket
2. maybe another pair of snowboard pants
3. a beanie, OR better yet, some yarn and one of those circle things so i can make my own
4. long sleeve shirts
5. socks
6. a new hair straightener (CHI)
7. curling wand thing
8. just new clothes, form free people, urban, anthropologie, forever 21, top shop, zara and others..
9. accessories
10. another piercing
11. another pair of jeans
12. a trip to nordstrom (hellloooo sb!)
13. mac eye makeup remover and other mac things
14. northface sweatshirt/northface vest or some other vest

thats really all i can think of. and theres no way im gonna ask for all of it for xmas cuz i'd just feel bad. i asked for the snowboarding stuff, socks, long sleeve shirts and a hair straightener.. thats all i really NEED. and i dont even need all of that.

ps. ive never asked for socks before. this is weird.. but mine are seriously OLD and i need new ones bad. and now that its colder out, i wear boots and therefore need socks.

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the end

Submitted by hollamaniac on Sat.11.28.09 9:04pm

I guess it was stupid of me to think that once he was gone you were just gonna come back.. Well I really thought you were by the way you acted..and now..

You have a gf!?

Knowing the way you are I shouldn't be upset at all, also cuz of the way you treated me.. But it hurts. I'm sad and I feel really alone. I have a weird feeling in my gut, like I'm about to go get a piercing.. That nervous feeling. I feel sick and its partly cuz he has a gf and partly cuz I actually care.

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wee

Submitted by hollamaniac on Fri.11.20.09 7:32pm

"glad you came by"

:) me toooooooo

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see that you want me too

Submitted by hollamaniac on Wed.11.18.09 2:44pm

whoa i'm feelin you baby, don't be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall into me...

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....

Submitted by hollamaniac on Tue.11.17.09 6:37pm

why are my room mates looking for houses? are they gonna move out? ok. cool.

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things im gonna miss when my parents move away from malaysia in january:

Submitted by hollamaniac on Thu.11.12.09 10:45pm

my bedroom
my pool
the mexican restaurant on the next street
the wine bar on the next street
the minimart
logan being basically butt door neighbors
walking around with logan or zey and our benches
ampang hilir
ampang point
running across the street to mcdonalds after school
naan corner
pavillion
klcc
klcc park
one utama
luna bar
zouk
espanda
nouvo
7atenine
heritage
p. ramlee
taxis
subra
sitting on the road with logan
shonas house
nandos
people at starbucks and chilis knowing my order
sitting at great eastern
the rain storms
the ghetto school
iskl
the gym
malaysian-english accents
suzi's corner
mei keng fatt
damai
barclub
bar blonde
the marroitt
klia
the recordings in the trains at klia
malaysia truly asia
driving to singapore
coffee bean
astro
barred windows
gate openers
the van
ubl

tooo much stuff im gonna miss so so so much.
even if im not ACTUALLY gonna miss it.. i'll prolly never live it again so i guess i will.

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what a day

Submitted by hollamaniac on Mon.11.02.09 8:26pm

he fb chatted me today out of no where.. apologized finally and wants to be friends again.

FUCK that.

i moved on, i havent forgotten the shit you said to me, but im happy again and with someone new.

im so mad at you for putting all those memories back in my head this afternoon
im so sad because im thinking about those memories

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keep calling me babe

Submitted by hollamaniac on Tue.10.27.09 12:58am

i could get used to spending each night with you :)

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move in day tomorrow!

Submitted by hollamaniac on Fri.09.11.09 10:09pm

all the freshman move into their dorms tomorrow.. omg im so excited. we're partying at red light and starting the madness at our house with chocolate chip pancakes and mimosas at 8.15 am.

CANT WAIT OMMGGGGG.

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thanks for all the touches, whoever they're from

Submitted by hollamaniac on Thu.09.03.09 6:58pm

i really appreciate all the touches on these past few entries about my grandpas passing. it makes me feel loved and like im not alone.

i wish i knew who they were from.

<3

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cameras!

Submitted by hollamaniac on Wed.09.02.09 9:57pm

wayne gave me two old pentax cameras tonight! one like old school point and shoot and a old school film camera. with like 6 lenses and a bunch of filters. wahhh so much cool stuff. so nice of him to just hand it over

cant wait to use it!

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we took him home

Submitted by hollamaniac on Tue.09.01.09 6:22pm

the funeral was today.. i pretty much cried for an hour and a half straight.. it was so so so hard.

watching them close the casket, seeing it carried out to the hurse, the funeral precession, the navy seals waiting at the cemetery, the one seal playing taps on the bugle while the other two folded the flag, them turning and handing the flag to my mom saying that the president of the united states is grateful for my grandpa's service in WWII, seeing the tears on everyones faces, hearing the crying (especially from my mom and dad), laying a flower on grandpa's casket, walking outside the chapel, turning around and seeing that the casket was already gone.

it was so hard, it was a very hard day. but a beautiful day, and a beautiful service.

i think the nicest part was that the precession drove past grandpa's old house on rutherford becuase while he was in the nursing home all he wanted to do was "go home". so we took him home, it was so special.

i miss you so much grandpa, i cant believe that today was the last day i'd see your face.

i love you grandpa.

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wake

Submitted by hollamaniac on Mon.08.31.09 8:31pm

grampa you looked so good! like before you had the stroke.. flashy in your suit :) it was good to see you again, although i'll admit when i first walked into that room and no one else was there, i thought it was fake. you werent real, the flowers werent real, the flag wasnt real. it kinda felt like madam tussauds. i dunno if thats mean or not but i dont intend it to be.. i love you so much grandpaaaa, i miss you so much. i love you so much.

today was long and tough.. but good to be with family.. sad that this is what brought us all together.

aunt donna said she likes to go to church cuz it makes her feel closer to her mom, and now you too grampa. i wanted to go to church on sunday, but i dont know any here.. i just wanna pray for you. "our father" will always remind me of you.

I LOVE YOU

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i just remembered

Submitted by hollamaniac on Fri.08.28.09 11:53pm

i just remembered, just now as i was laying in bed crying, that i wrote a paper in 5th grade on my hero. and my hero was grandpa. i remember talking about how artistic he was and how he always made me laugh.

i need to find that paper.

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our father who art in heaven

Submitted by hollamaniac on Thu.08.27.09 9:41pm

i cant believe you're gone g pop. i love love love you and i miss you so much i just do.. i just miss you so much.

i want you here. i want to laugh with you more, joke with you more, spend more time with you. i want you to see me graduate college, get married, have kids. im not ready for you to be gone. 20 years together wasnt enough. not nearly.

you were a great man. proudly served your country in WWII, married a beautiful woman who i wish so much that i could have met, raised three amazing children and were the best grandfather ever to me chris and frankie.

we were all there with you in your final moments, and i know you know that.. you were still crackin your year old jokes.. they were still just as funny. i just wanna hear them one more time. i wanna "pound it" with you one more time. i wanna watch the sox with you one more time. i wanna hear you say some crazy thing in the nursing home.

the white sox won today too.. against the red sox. they won for grandpa, duh.

i love you.