I don’t know what it is about people now. They all seem to be falling. But nevertheless they lie about it and hide it. Some of them are even relationships thinking that it will help them through thier walk. I have something to say about that...here it comes...Your wrong that is called founding your walk with him/her rather then just Him. Its funny how we can lie to everyone but God. How we can show everyone our "Great" deeds yet forget the one reason we should be doing them. I am praying for all of these childish high-school relationships with the exasperating "I love you’s" (when truley they have no idea what love is) being thrown around like its nothing. These "I’m going to marry him/her" it is just irritating. It really is sad to see those closest to me fall. I’m not suppose to know but i do due to discernment. I would consider this a gift and a curse at the same time. I am not trying to be anti-relationships. I mean i agree with Grace and Jamin and Josh and Domi but then there are just others which will remain nameless. People are consuming themselves with the wrong crowd with the wrong attitude those "callused christians" who believe "Hey, if it doesn’t stumble me it doesn’t matter" or "You can’t judge me" its not about judging it says in the bible through your actions and your words you can know a man’s walk. We fall and we depend on others to lift us up. We should look to God rather then anyone else. Everyone knows whats going on but we choose not to say anything. I just don’t get it. It makes no sense. People want to join worship team to be seen on stage and be praised for it. It irritates me. These immature people. God where are you in all of this. Throughout the Fledglings squabbling around pecking at each other. Their complacentcy is similar to a forest fire. It all starts with a match. Whats worse is when 2 people in a relationship fall and they expect to lift each other up while they are in the same state of mind. It is the BLIND LEADING THE BLIND. SO many people have died recently and many more are falling. It’s funny though because the 2 actions are similar in a way. These people don’t deserve to be the way they are. Some in pain, some in just idiocy. God don’t punish them, rather punish me. It would make no sense in having to punish them. Punish me for them. Let them be touched through my pain. Let them learn through my sorrow/rejoicing in you. Allow me to be the "Job" of today. Your people are callused. Many of my friends are either to caught up with themselves or with music. I hear about music or fashion or the way they look when truley i hear nothing about the supposed "ministry" that they have. I pray you take away thier talents to teach them. One person i happen to love talking to is Ryan. He isn’t christian (yet) but yet he holds the christian morals moreso then these supposed 3-10 year christians. There are certain people that have encouraged me for the past month. Kienan- Bro you have grown so much and i just pray that you continue. Yes your anger gets the best of you at times but nonetheless i can for once say I see Christ in you. Josh- Man, you have taught me a lot in wierd ways and even though i disagree with you in somethings you taught me biblically a lot. Brianna- I don’t know about you but yeah, just that i see you being grieved over the smaller things that i know God would grieve over and taking everything to prayer Brigette- You have changed a lot in the past month and you have just been shining lately, please don’t compromise even with your boyfriend. Yeah you have made a u-turn. Rachel- Wow, you have taught me how to just tell blatantly what needs to be said. It’s powerful Joy- You have just remained faithfull and always so hungering for God. you have remained Joy[-ous] Ryan- Bro, you are one of the few "non-christians" (which I still don’t believe) who still show there is hope in this decaying world. I’m praying for you. I know you will be with God in the end Nessa- Last but surely the best. You have just encouraged me in so many things that i wouldn’t be able to fathom if i tried. you have just been so uplifting and would tell me when i’m in the wrong. God’s will is perfect. I use to want to record with a "Band" or even with some other people. but now i just feel that God doesn’t want me to. As if He said wait. I have been reading Ecclesiastes and it just teaches me patience with His divine will. I am waiting for after high-school to continue the ministry i wanted to start so there would be less distractions with immature children. I don’t know if its because i am older then most or because i have been through more. There is no excuse for secular music even meaning these "half-christians" such as "EvanEssance" or "Dashboard Confessional". just because it doesn’t stumble us or we "Don’t see anything wrong/Don’t see the big deal" doesn’t make it right. That goes along with everything. No compromise. There is no grey area in christianity as many christians may be lead to believe. We think its ok to do something just because we see nothing wrong. We have slipped so far away from the truth and haven’t even realized it. We need to stop being so fake and unreal with ourselves. I mean how do we differentiate ourselves from this world. I certainly can’t many times with myself along with many other of my christian friends. Honestly some people i doubt if they are even walking with Christ with the way they are living thier lives i doubt they remember His true love. The love they felt when they first came to know Him. He is still thier but we treat Him like a ragdoll, tossed, tattered with cotton exposed out of its abdomen. I just don’t get it. Someone please explain it to me. God i pray daily that you are in everything i do. In every step in every breath. My thoughts are so tainted. I am so callused to many things. I thank you for breaking me in this manner. I thank you for taking all of my friends. I thank you for them falling and for these others dying. I praise you for all you have done and all you will do. I rejoice in your Will being done.