itsamandarose
guestbook
2009-02-25 at 9:54 a.m.
Yeah you know.. those stupid ass preppy platinum blond bitches? Man I am so sick of them walking around acting like they are the shit. I walk around school getting dirty looks from these bitches for no apparent reason. I am NOT here at school to make friends, I am clearly here to learn && further myself in my education. Get closure to my Future goals. Theses Dumb girls && boys don't get me wrong, they are both ridiculous. Come here because their parents make them. They aren't here to make something of themselves. Their here to simply humor their parents. Wasting there money and the spots in the classes. I'm pretty much sick of it. I should just do online classes so I don't have to be associated with anyone. I am fine with the "friends" I have. truly i only need my boyfriend. Fuck the rest.
Man I'm so freaking hungry.
My mom is stupid.
My happiness is her annoyance.
I'm done talking.
2009-02-24 at 8:51 a.m.
Well I just spent like a half an hour trying to figure out a layout for my Diary land ish.. I'm done trying haha I'm content with it. If you don't like it you can just get over it && never look at my page again. Anyways yet another day at school got here about 7:30 Walked into the math building and finished my math homework that I neglected to do last night due to a horrible headache I had. Well I still have it. && it's killer :/ Anyways Yeah finished my homework and then walked into the library straight to a computer, checked my email, Facebook, Myspace, Did the layout, && now I am writing a new entry. Today Is just school and then Paul is going to pick me up at 11:10 at tommy's and then we have to go grocery shopping for his family && then Ill probably hang out with him for a while. I love being in his presence. Man my head is killing me. Bet my class is going to lag to the max :/
There is someone sitting next to or around me that smells really bad like their perfume is freaking disgusting and it is so strong. Blehh
I have realized that I am a very jealous person. Hearing my boyfriend talk about girls especially ones in his past piss me off or make me sad.. Because I feel like he misses his past. Even though he tells me he loves me and he couldn't see himself with anyone else but me. He is truly amazing. I think that's why I am so scared to loose him. I would never love another to the extent that I love him. && i would never give as much as myself to another man. He has all of me. Hopefully forever, I mean that is our goal anyways.. thats the plan.. Forever and always right babe? Man I miss him, Can't wait to go to class and get it over with && see my baby <3
Man I'm really tired & Yehh.
Bleh I think I'm done typing. I'm going to do a survey then get of this ish<3
2009-02-23 at 9:20 a.m.
So I'm at school bored as hell as usual. I got out of my English class really early So I am chilling in the library fucking around on the computer till about 9:50.. My next class is at 10:00. So yeah I'm really bored. I miss my boyfriend && I am so glad he is going to come pick me up today after school :) I get out at 2:30. Paul is going to pick me up && then we get to see his beautiful daughter Kylie around 3:30. I miss that lil booger :) She is so freaking cute!
Anyways I am so excited that My boyfriend and I have almost reached the One year mark :) By far the longest relationship I have ever been in. My longest one before him was two months.. Haha that mother fucker was such a loser like you would not believe! aha Cheated on me so many times, I took the fucker back just to find out that he never stopped cheating on me && now he is with the bitch && they are living their life happily ever after haha. Oh well he's probably cheating on her just like he did to me.
I'm really hungry, Like i would kill for some taco bell right now. I freaking LOVE taco bell. :) mmmm so bomb! haha I know I am a fatty <3
I wish I had a TRUE girl best friend. Girls are so fucking scandalous and cannot be trusted what so ever. At least none that I have met. A friend is not someone who turns there back on you when its convenient for them... or someone who talks ahit about the one you love for no apparent reason. Yeah those people aren't friends. All i need is my boyfriend. He is my best friend and he is always there for me. No matter the circumstances. I am not just a convenient person for him. He is there for me through the good times and the bad. He means the world to me and more. Just me and you baby. FUCKK THE REST..
Anywho I think I am done typing aimlessly about my nonsense life. Got class in a half an hour..
Gonna use a proxy to get on myspace now.
Suckk ittt :)
2009-02-19 at 8:31 a.m.
So i haven't written in here in a long time. I decided since i have nothing to do right now that i would type a little something.
Well today is mine && my boyfriends eleven months together. We are so close to the one year mark && I am so excited you don't even know.
He's a brat and randomly stopped talking to me last night. I didn't get a good night or anything && we usually text eachother at midnight on the days of our anneversarys but NOOPE nothing :/
Ugh i'm in a shitty mood && I'm hungry
Prbaby gong to walk m fat ass over to my schools cafe here in a little bit.
I'll write again soon.
Bye
To be with you....
To be with you is more than a dream come true
You are more than what I imagined
A handsome being with a great heart
You came at the right time
One relationship ended
And a new beginning
You took me in with my flaws
My rocky moments didn't keep you abay
You held me close to you
I could hear your heart beating
Your nothing like someone I ever met
I was scared at first
Not knowing what lies ahead
I came for a trouble past
My heart broken in half
My soul torn apart
But you saw a light in me
And took me out of darkness
Your smile make my heart melt
Your touch make me shiver in disbelief
I never imagined that my life would change so drastically
But you came and made my wrongs right
Took my heart to a special place
2008-11-13 at 10:02 a.m.
My heart is aching. A friend of mine hung himself on the night of November 10th. But thats not whats really killing me right now.. I feel as if my boyfriend really, truly honestly has falling out of love with me. He seems to hate everything about me... I don't know whats wrong with me, I haven't changes, I'm still the happy, sweet girl he fell in love with. It's happening... what i have been fearing happening... Our insecurities are getting between us.. if we don't do something about it; it will end up tearing our relationship to shreds. The catch is we both have to work on it.. it cannot be a one sided effort to make everything okay, to make everything right again. We both have to want it to work out.. otherwise we are fighting a loosing battle. I know I am willing to work on it.. I don't want to be without him, but if we keep going down this insecure path we'll end up without eachother.. I am willing to do anything to make this work. The question is.. are you? Am i worth working on this?
to paul:
One more thing, I really try to believe you when you tell me how much i mean to you, How much you need me, that you couldn't be without me... but your actions don't back up your words... I've asked you before & Ill ask you again... Act like you like me around if you do.
I love you.
2008-10-31 at 8:29 a.m.
Happy Halloween Everyone ♥
Hope everyone has fun [ :
I know i will simply because
I'm going to be with the love of my life.
We may not do much BUTTT I always
have a good time when I'm around him.
As long as he isn't ignoring me for
COUNTERSTRIKE SOURCEEE..
I mean I'm glad he has something
to do/play that makes him happy
and that he's totally interested it
but pshhh come on baby...
Be interested in meeeeeee! haha Jeez
I still love that booger..
But he's a CSS whore.
Mhmm well i'm outie buh bye
October 30, 2008
12:17 p.m.
Once again just another day, yet i seem to be in a much better mood than i have been the past couple days.... i think its because its Thursday and Thursday it like my Friday considering i don't have classes on Friday or anything I HAVE to do.. i do have cheer practice but most importantly i see the love of my life . [ : I miss him so much. I really can't wait until i am in his arms again. Where i feel so safe and so wanted. I love that feeling. Fuck... i just love him... Well i have class in about 40 minutes and i really don't want to go... It's psychology but... its only an hour and twenty five minute class... hopefully it doesn't lag... ugh well yeah I'm gonna mess around on the computer now... Ill probably write another entry later...
Mad Love
Byee Byee
P.s. tomorrow is Halloween [ : Gonna watch scary movies or just chill with my love. Whoot whoot<3
October 29th 2008
9:36 a.m.
Well life's tough right now... Well its kinda getting better but it just seems one thing after another keeps happening... My boyfriend and i had a little stupid drama because of a stupid little stupid ass boy that decided to say something so unnecessary, something so STUPID That in my mind, almost costed me the love of my life.. for about 4 days i was an emotional wreck.. being told that he didn't want to see me... simply tore me apart... I know it looked/sounded wrong and i may have said things i shouldn't have but it was harmless. But he should know in his heart that i wouldn't do anything to hurt him.
My relationship with my father is falling through as well it seems as time goes by he takes his wifes side more and more.. and puts all the blame on me why her and i don't have a great relationship. I don't understand why i can't keep any males in my life happy. What's wrong with me?
I can't type anymore.
Ill continue in a little bit
October 20th 2008
11:45
So i just wrote an entry but i started thinking about something else... Some shit that became clear this weekend... SO....! I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months.. and the EX bitch still wants my boyfriend... I mean FUCK i know he's amazing and the cutest thing you've ever laid eyes on.. but he's mine now... not yours.
Your the past, I'm the future
You won't ever get him back
Things/Relationships end for a reason, you can't make someone love you or want to stay with you...even though you have something so special of his.. and you're forced to be in his life... he isn't going to want to put himself through all the bullshit you put him through again... Paul deserves to be treated with so much respect and to be shown all the love in the world.. he should have felt loved with you... but he didn't.... Until he met me i don't think he knew what it felt like to be loved by someone. & that's sad...
I don't know why i;m writing this exactly but its been bugging me since a certain thing was said...
I hate bitches..........
Peace
October 20th 2008
11:32 a.m.
Okay well... Today is no different then any other... I'm at school.. Where i wish i wasn't at the time.. i really would rather be laying in my bed relaxing and napping.. I'm not feeling it today.... My insides are killing me.. & I'm very hungry... I woke up this morning without my boyfriend by my side... & i think that's what has put me in this mood. I really cannot wait until i can sleep next to him every night and wake up next to the warmth of his body every morning. Stayed with him for the past weekend and got to sleep next to him for two nights in a row.. & every time i woke up i woke up exactly where i belonged... next to the love of my life... although he really wanted nothing to do with me, he didn't feel well and he was very hot so he didn't want me right next to him because i apparently let off too much body heat. I'm not going to lie... made me kinda sad to hear him say he didn't want to sleep next to me but i know that the reasons are legit.. I just wanted to be wrapped up in his arms.. where i felt o safe and comfortable. But no one gets everything they want... hmmm.. My weekend was amazing. Got to my boyfriends house on Friday and didn't leave him till yesterday [ Sunday ] but i miss his goofy ass already... I wonder when he'll want to see me again.... uugghh... i hate feeling like this :/ Oh shit happens... LIFE happens :/ I think i'm done typing this shit... i have practice in about 20 minutes... he will supposable text me.. but we'll see... i think he forgets bout me sometimes... oh well.... Um have a good day. Bye
October 13th 2008
10:39 a.m.
Today is really boring and i feel like shit... I'm at school in the library bullshitting around until 12:00 when i have cheer practice. And then i have class at 1:05.. Jeez i need to get my freaking license already so i can have a life and do what i want... I'm starving and have no money. My friend alex found a 20 dollar bill on the floor... i wish i would have found it so i could have gone to tommy's burger and grubbed... I think my body is dying. I don't eat regularly... Ugh.. Oh well I need to loose weight anyways.. I really have nothing to do on the computer and i don't want to be on it.. but i have nothing else to do for the next hour and a half... :/ ugh fuckkkk thissss & fuckkkk you
October 2nd, 2008
12:12 p.m.
I'm starving as hell and i have no money what so ever... I miss my boyfriend... So freaking much it's killing me.. I can't wait to get home and eat... but then i am going to clean because i have the house to myself this weekend.... you know what that means :) haha hello boyfriend :D I can't wait for him to stay with me... it will be like our own little house for a weekend.. haha although we have like nio food or drinks... but we will manage :] aha i can't wait to see my love.. i hate being without him.
Well i'm going to go walk around aimlessly
Buh-Bye
September 29, 2008
4:40 p.m.
Well, today was boring.. I hung out with marrisaaaaaa && holly we ate hot cheetoh fries and drank pepsi.. talked and what not... Tomorrow is going to be interesting/exciting Marissa, Holly & I are going to my boyfriends house... & um.... they're gonna be bad kids & I'm gonna smoke hookah...hahaha i ♥ them so much<3
September 25th, 2008
3:21.m.
I feel like I'm not good enough.
Not worthy of you're love
What did I ever do to deserve you?
What did I say to make you love me?
Don't grow tired of me,
For my love for you will never fade.
You are my true love, my only one
whom i will never betray nor leave
I can't live with out you.
I won't live with out you.
Paul, words could never express how
i feel about you... so you'll just have
to realize that........♥
I love you more!
Bye
September 25th, 2008
10:07 a.m.
Why do i care about people
that couldn't give a fuck less about me?
I'm broken.
I need new friends.
Fuck it
i don't want any friends
i won't open myself up to this
heartache anymore.
i don't deserve it.
September 24th, 2008
7:01 p.m.
When I'm with you,
eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.
This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you...
you'll never really know.
You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.
Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know I hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.
So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever And Always,
I Will Love You."
September 24th, 2008
6:54 p.m.
1) If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.
2)Love is the greatest feeling,
Love is like a play,
Love is what I feel for you,
Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start.
September 24th, 2008
11:19 a.m
Well... Today is really lame and i am really not in the mood for much of anything... I am at school.. starving.. and extremely hot... My cheer captain is pissing me off and won't get off my case... I'm glad were voting her out because if she was going to stay captain forever... i probably would quit.. she is so bossy.. and isn't ever open to hearing what other people have to say... Today is our bake sale and i walk over there.. and she asks me.. why i am not dressed.. [ in uniform ] i simply told her.. well you never gave me mine... she then decided to throw my skirt at me... i then shoved my shit in my purse and proceeded to walk with my friend Marissa and her buddy... We then just were sitting and talking. I called my co-captain and told her what went down... she just told me to stay away from her... shit i have no problem doing that... GLADELY :D
i lost my train of thought
my boyfriend just made my day
i love him so much bye
September 23rd, 2008
7:19 p.m.
See i thought a friend was someone who you could always turn to.. someone who would never turn their back on you... Someone you could tell your secrets too and not worry that they will tell someone else... If someone did that at one point but then did the exact opposite after time... does that mean they were never a friend in the first place.. or they were at one point in time? I am really starting to believe that well.... mostly girls in general are not capable of being a good friend to someone... It seems in the beginning its nice to have someone to talk to.. to vent to.. and feel like you don't have to worry about them talkng behind your back.. or putting you down to other people... but in the end every "friend" turns out the same... a kniving, backstabber.. that would do anything to get some attention... even if that means putting down and talking shit about someone they once called a friend... Maybe its best to not have friends... maybe their over-rated... I'm not sure... I think i have bad luck... I haven't had a great friend ever.. well that is until i met the love of my life.. he is my love and my best friend... but growing up.. i never just had a good friend...they all end up the same bitch as the one before... I don't know.. Im really just rambling... but my hunnie.. is busy or something and i don't have him to vent to right now... So this is as close as i get to pouring my heart and feelings out... [ oh great im going to become a blogging/diaryland whore ] haha oh well.. I guess this is better than holding it all inside untill i explode... i really just hate everything right now... ever feel that way?? My fist through a wall sounds just lovely... but paul says it hurts so i shouldn't haha... isn't that the point..
" You bleed just to know your alive"
I'm not sure how to feel right now.
Already didn't have many "friends"
And now the two so-called friends
i had are outie.. just like every other
bitch.
fuck it.
I think this is why i have a hard time trusting anyone.
September 23rd, 2008
5:04 p.m.
I swear some fucking bitches drive me insane... all they know how to do is run their fucking mouths... stupid bitch... she needs to shut her mouth before i shut it for her personally... fuckin cunt...
kiss my asss bitch
fuck you and your stupid ass boyfriend.
I had a diaryland but I want to transfer everything over to this.
September 23rd, 2008
3:51 p.m.
Alright so heres my first entry... Today was a pretty low key day.. I had school... Math class and my psychology class.. Math was canceled so shaina and i went to tommy's burger for breakfast and i got a short stack plate of pancakes .. I love pancakes.. & shaina just got some hashbrowns... she bought me breakfast :) She's so nice haha But then i was chilling with her ryan lopez, and Ryan limahelu for a while... untill they all had to go to class... then i hung out with Marissa [ Rissa ] as i/we like to call her... untill Holly got out of class.. WHen holly got out they decided they wanted to go to burger king... I didn't have any money.. but i also had about two and a half housrs until my next class so i tagged along and watched them eat their delicious food... =/ Then Rissa took me back to school and i chilled with shaina again... Talked about her and robby [ her now ex boyfriend ] which sucks cuz they were together for a long while and we all really thought they would last... but turns out he is a complete ass hole... but anyways.. talked about that.. and her making the track and feild team at citrus.... I then found out that this bitch named Phoebe is talking shit about me yet again... swear like she has no fucking life and loves to make her pathetic excuse of a life revolve around me... I mean im awesome but come on ;) hahaha but anyways yeah apparently she has been posting bulitens about me talking shit about me.. the way i look, even my cheer uniform [ for citrus colllege ] swear this bitch must not have a life or something..ugh i despise her... anyways after that i went to psychology where i found out that i have to do a oral presentaion on nuerotransmitters, Gilial Cells, and Plasticity... Does anyone know what the fuck those even are? I don't. I guess i should find out.. bahaha... Well yeah... I started walking home today.. but then a friend saw me walking and gave me a ride.. she's so nice :) i love you rissa. So now im home.. i have fed myself.. and im about to take a shower...I'm done with my first thingy. haha write more tomorrow PEACE bby!
[ i love you paulie ]
itsamandarose
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Aug 6 1990
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cute and stupid or surprisingly creative. I genuinely cannot tell which one you are.