krisavalon
Evanescence and More
Bring Me To Life
*What Song by Evanescence are You?*
brought to you by Quizilla
Awesome!
Actually, my favorite songs on the album are "Whisper" and "My Immortal," but if it weren’t for "Bring Me to Life," I probably would never have discovered the group. Actually, I think I’ve become downright obsessed with Evanescence lately. I don’t know what it is. Besides the fact that I LOVE gothic music (esp. Celldweller, Criss Angel, Orgy, Rackets & Drapes, VNV Nation, Apoptygma, etc...), I really admire their candor. They have challenged the fudamentals of what men have molded into "modern Christianity," and they aren’t afraid to verbalize emotions of deep spiritual and emotional torment, even at the risk of venturing outside those modern Christian parameters. I have always viewed depressing music as a sort of blacklight. To those who have spent enough time in its glow (Christians included), there is comfort and communion when gathering beneath it among peers. However, to those who have had little or no exposure to it, it just seems empty and uncomfortable, and the question arises, "How can anyone take pleasure in this?." I have always argued that despite the popular opinion of certain well-meaning conservatives, dark music does not induce, heighten or perpetuate depression (this is the voice of hardcore experience talking!!!). On the contrary, it’s like a glass of cold water beneath the hot sun. Let me illustrate:
Sally O’Mally is overweight. She has few friends and is constantly teased and upbraided by her peers. She dreams of someday getting married but is frequently reminded of her severe, incurable handicap, that is, the fact that she is a complete loser and is forever destined to be a social reject. Now, when Sally goes home, how much solace is she going to find in the music of Britney or Christina? None! Why? Britney and Christina are skinny, beautiful, and sing about happy things such as boyfriends and parties (yes, I know Christina’s new album has a couple of sad, intrapersonal ballads but the illustration still stands!). Sally doesn’t have a boyfriend, and she never gets invited to parties. Well, why doesn’t Sally listen to gospel or praise music? Anyone can find inspiration in that, right? WRONG! Even if Sally is a born-again Christian with a Bible for every day of the week, Sally’s depression ain’t goin’ nowhere until she has some validation that she’s not a freak for feeling the way she does (in such a case, gospel music does not help one bit, and sadly neither do most Chrstian counselors). So how does one receieve such validation? Dark music.
It has long been assumed that this sort of music MAKES people depressed, but I believe that people are drawn to it because they are already suffering the symptoms. If you truly feel that the world around you is just a dark, fiery chamber, listening to "inspirational music" will send a subconscious message to you that you are a FREAK, and nobody feels the way you do! "Hey, everyone else is happy, what are you complaining about? The guys in DC Talk don’t have any trouble finding peace. Is there something wrong with you? You’re all alone in this!" Catch my drift? However, when a person in such a melancholy state of mind listens to Billy Corgan sing "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage," it can be the most comforting thing in the world. "Finally, someone understands me! I’m not a freak!" Marilyn Manson has long been accused of corrupting the youth, and while I certainly don’t agree with many of Manson’s philosophies, I believe that the accusatory parents are more frightened than they are angry. They don’t want to believe that their precious little babies are actually relating to messages of severe, inner-turmoil. But, I guess they were too busy picketing the arenas to really get to know their kids.
Anyway, THE POINT IS, I admire Evanescence because of their honesty. I guess I could have summed up this entire entry in that one sentence. Also, Amy Lee is really, really beautiful! Has anyone seen the new issue of Revolver? Get it! Evanescence is on the cover and there is a really fascinating, insightful interview accompanied by some great photos. Their performance on Pepsi Smash last week was awesome as well. I was going to buy tickets to their show in August, but I have no money and there are no good seats available. *sigh*. Next time. I am buying their t-shirt at Hot Topic tomorrow though! Yes, I guess you could say I’m obsessed. Let the record show, however, that my favorite bands still are, and will always be (well, maybe not always) Joy Electric and the Cure.
To conclude, I want to tie in this message with my Christian faith. As everything does relate to it in my life, I don’t want to ignore it here. If there are any Christians reading this, please don’t think that I’m trying to propose new, radical dogmas. I sincerely believe in the God-shaped hole theory, that we are all born with a void in our hearts, that can only be filled by the love of God, through accepting Christ into our lives. However, as Dr. James Dobson would point out (one of the men I admire most in this world, and I would highly recommend his book "Life on the Edge" to any young men and women out there who are riding life’s roller coaster), there is little we can do about our temperaments. Some of the greatest men in the Bible (David and Job, among them) were so overwhelmed with sadness that they cried out to God for their deaths. Depression is bad enough, but no one should ever make you feel guiltybecause of it. It’s ridiculous, and you don’t need any more weight on your shoulders. I’m not here to discuss how to overcome depression (that’s a whole ’nother volume, but if you want to talk, e-mail me), but to make the point that dark music is not "evil" simply because it deals with areas to which some would rather not venture. If you have never suffered from severe depression and isolation, you won’t understand, but just take my word for it, and the words of millions of others who feel the same. To those who are turned off by profanity, sexual references, and demonic allusions (hey, so am I), there are obviously certain bands you will want to avoid. That concept, however, is contrary to my point, and I bring it up only in hopes of precluding any such arguments made against this little article of mine. Try and understand. Open your mind. Broaden your horizons. That’s all I’m saying. St. Paul said that we are saved by faith alone, "that no man can boast," (Ephesians 2:8-9). So let’s not get too caught up in the mundane. That’s all for today.
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Evanescence and More
Bring Me To Life
*What Song by Evanescence are You?*
brought to you by Quizilla
Awesome!
Actually, my favorite songs on the album are "Whisper" and "My Immortal," but if it weren’t for "Bring Me to Life," I probably would never have discovered the group. Actually, I think I’ve become downright obsessed with Evanescence lately. I don’t know what it is. Besides the fact that I LOVE gothic music (esp. Celldweller, Criss Angel, Orgy, Rackets & Drapes, VNV Nation, Apoptygma, etc...), I really admire their candor. They have challenged the fudamentals of what men have molded into "modern Christianity," and they aren’t afraid to verbalize emotions of deep spiritual and emotional torment, even at the risk of venturing outside those modern Christian parameters. I have always viewed depressing music as a sort of blacklight. To those who have spent enough time in its glow (Christians included), there is comfort and communion when gathering beneath it among peers. However, to those who have had little or no exposure to it, it just seems empty and uncomfortable, and the question arises, "How can anyone take pleasure in this?." I have always argued that despite the popular opinion of certain well-meaning conservatives, dark music does not induce, heighten or perpetuate depression (this is the voice of hardcore experience talking!!!). On the contrary, it’s like a glass of cold water beneath the hot sun. Let me illustrate:
Sally O’Mally is overweight. She has few friends and is constantly teased and upbraided by her peers. She dreams of someday getting married but is frequently reminded of her severe, incurable handicap, that is, the fact that she is a complete loser and is forever destined to be a social reject. Now, when Sally goes home, how much solace is she going to find in the music of Britney or Christina? None! Why? Britney and Christina are skinny, beautiful, and sing about happy things such as boyfriends and parties (yes, I know Christina’s new album has a couple of sad, intrapersonal ballads but the illustration still stands!). Sally doesn’t have a boyfriend, and she never gets invited to parties. Well, why doesn’t Sally listen to gospel or praise music? Anyone can find inspiration in that, right? WRONG! Even if Sally is a born-again Christian with a Bible for every day of the week, Sally’s depression ain’t goin’ nowhere until she has some validation that she’s not a freak for feeling the way she does (in such a case, gospel music does not help one bit, and sadly neither do most Chrstian counselors). So how does one receieve such validation? Dark music.
It has long been assumed that this sort of music MAKES people depressed, but I believe that people are drawn to it because they are already suffering the symptoms. If you truly feel that the world around you is just a dark, fiery chamber, listening to "inspirational music" will send a subconscious message to you that you are a FREAK, and nobody feels the way you do! "Hey, everyone else is happy, what are you complaining about? The guys in DC Talk don’t have any trouble finding peace. Is there something wrong with you? You’re all alone in this!" Catch my drift? However, when a person in such a melancholy state of mind listens to Billy Corgan sing "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage," it can be the most comforting thing in the world. "Finally, someone understands me! I’m not a freak!" Marilyn Manson has long been accused of corrupting the youth, and while I certainly don’t agree with many of Manson’s philosophies, I believe that the accusatory parents are more frightened than they are angry. They don’t want to believe that their precious little babies are actually relating to messages of severe, inner-turmoil. But, I guess they were too busy picketing the arenas to really get to know their kids.
Anyway, THE POINT IS, I admire Evanescence because of their honesty. I guess I could have summed up this entire entry in that one sentence. Also, Amy Lee is really, really beautiful! Has anyone seen the new issue of Revolver? Get it! Evanescence is on the cover and there is a really fascinating, insightful interview accompanied by some great photos. Their performance on Pepsi Smash last week was awesome as well. I was going to buy tickets to their show in August, but I have no money and there are no good seats available. *sigh*. Next time. I am buying their t-shirt at Hot Topic tomorrow though! Yes, I guess you could say I’m obsessed. Let the record show, however, that my favorite bands still are, and will always be (well, maybe not always) Joy Electric and the Cure.
To conclude, I want to tie in this message with my Christian faith. As everything does relate to it in my life, I don’t want to ignore it here. If there are any Christians reading this, please don’t think that I’m trying to propose new, radical dogmas. I sincerely believe in the God-shaped hole theory, that we are all born with a void in our hearts, that can only be filled by the love of God, through accepting Christ into our lives. However, as Dr. James Dobson would point out (one of the men I admire most in this world, and I would highly recommend his book "Life on the Edge" to any young men and women out there who are riding life’s roller coaster), there is little we can do about our temperaments. Some of the greatest men in the Bible (David and Job, among them) were so overwhelmed with sadness that they cried out to God for their deaths. Depression is bad enough, but no one should ever make you feel guiltybecause of it. It’s ridiculous, and you don’t need any more weight on your shoulders. I’m not here to discuss how to overcome depression (that’s a whole ’nother volume, but if you want to talk, e-mail me), but to make the point that dark music is not "evil" simply because it deals with areas to which some would rather not venture. If you have never suffered from severe depression and isolation, you won’t understand, but just take my word for it, and the words of millions of others who feel the same. To those who are turned off by profanity, sexual references, and demonic allusions (hey, so am I), there are obviously certain bands you will want to avoid. That concept, however, is contrary to my point, and I bring it up only in hopes of precluding any such arguments made against this little article of mine. Try and understand. Open your mind. Broaden your horizons. That’s all I’m saying. St. Paul said that we are saved by faith alone, "that no man can boast," (Ephesians 2:8-9). So let’s not get too caught up in the mundane. That’s all for today.
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I Watch the Stars as They Fall From the Sky...
Palm Sunday with my family was pretty awesome, and crazy as always. We went to a hotel in Pasadena and ate Sunday brunch near the fountains. Pink shrimp and stuffed pasta were among the endless entrees, and I think I nearly ate them dry. The majority of my family is Catholic, so Palm Sunday is a big deal. I got to see my cousin Shawn for the first time in quite a while, so that was cool. I wish I could say something more deep and profound, but today I’m basically neutral. I hope to get tickets for the Monique Powell show at the glass house, and Eric (the coolest guy a friend could have) has accepted my challenge of finding as many live No Doubt and Save Ferris songs online as he possibly can, for a small monetary reward. I think it sucks that Save Ferris’s third album will never be released *sigh*. Well, I look forward to seeing what tricks Monique still has up her sleeve. I’d also like to go to Warped, but it’s in July and I loathe being outside in the hot weather. I have studying to do for a statistics test tomorrow, and I really need to finish my novel, but lately I’ve been taking it easy...too easy. I haven’t been working out because my wrists are still recovering from all they strain, but hopefully another week should do the trick. More later.
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We Ain’t Got No Place To Go...
I went to two really awesome punk shows last week with Eric (user: Orpheum), one at the Chain Reaction in Anaheim and one at the Troubadour in West Hollywood. I just got the photographs developed and I couldn’t be more delighted at how they came out. I’ve got awesome shots of Eric and I with Laura from the Eyeliners, Ginger from the Halo Friendlies and Natalie from the Halo Friendlies. I’ll post them on the page as soon as I get them scanned. I also got some great live shots of the Halos, the Eyeliners, Destruction Made Simple and an awesome new British punk band called the Fight (check out http://www.the-fight.co.uk/) which just got signed to Fat Wreck, and I know they’re going to be big. Their EP comes out April 22, and I advise any punk fans out there to check it out. We got to chat with them after they performed and they’re very cool, down-to-earth people. I think Eric and I both fell in love with their singer K8.
The Eyeliners and the Halo Friendlies were incredibly sweet, and both of them played incredible live sets. I got all kinds of autographs and briefly conversed with many of them, which was a sublime experience (it might even be right up there with that ethereal experience in which I met Monique Powell). Eric and I got lost in West Hollywood trying to find the Troubadour, but it had an awesome payoff. They have this really stupid policy though, where you can’t go in and out if you’re under 21. I really wanted to get a picture with Ginger and she went outside in the middle of the show, which really upset me because I couldn’t go out unless it was for good. I didn’t care, since the last two bands were Squad Five-0 and Audio Karate, two bands which I care little for, but Eric seemed interested in checking them out. Still, I was climbing the walls with my idolatrous desire to be photographed with Ginger, so Eric, like the true friend that he is, sacrificed the remainder of the evening and led me outside so that I could make my dream come true. I acknowledge that it was really childish and selfish of me to act that way, and I just feel blessed to have a friend like him. Eric, if you’re reading this, I doff my hat to you! You’re one of a rare, selfless breed.
Now if I go to an AFI show and get photographed with Davey Havok, I can die happy. = )
More to come...
The Eyeliners and the Halo Friendlies were incredibly sweet, and both of them played incredible live sets. I got all kinds of autographs and briefly conversed with many of them, which was a sublime experience (it might even be right up there with that ethereal experience in which I met Monique Powell). Eric and I got lost in West Hollywood trying to find the Troubadour, but it had an awesome payoff. They have this really stupid policy though, where you can’t go in and out if you’re under 21. I really wanted to get a picture with Ginger and she went outside in the middle of the show, which really upset me because I couldn’t go out unless it was for good. I didn’t care, since the last two bands were Squad Five-0 and Audio Karate, two bands which I care little for, but Eric seemed interested in checking them out. Still, I was climbing the walls with my idolatrous desire to be photographed with Ginger, so Eric, like the true friend that he is, sacrificed the remainder of the evening and led me outside so that I could make my dream come true. I acknowledge that it was really childish and selfish of me to act that way, and I just feel blessed to have a friend like him. Eric, if you’re reading this, I doff my hat to you! You’re one of a rare, selfless breed.
Now if I go to an AFI show and get photographed with Davey Havok, I can die happy. = )
More to come...
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Beyond And To All Time I Stand
PRAEOCCUPOR MORTE
by Kris Avalon
Recall as beasts descant their woes
In desolation’s gated throes
We praised them once with tempered gold
And weaved their yarns of fables told
Until the night the temple fell
And stars of Heaven rained in Hell
The dragon’s tail ensnared our souls
And seared our flesh with bleeding coals
Be sheep or goats I cannot say
The wolves cared not but ravished prey
Atop the mountains, drowned in ash
With open wound, infected gash
Relief came not from golden calf
Asherah’s curse or Pharoah’s staff
But deep within the empty tomb
Where elders preached impending doom
With light eclipsed by dark embrace
But far from lepers draped in lace
Their faces like the air of night
We thus recall such bitter plight
Copyright 2003 Kris Avalon
by Kris Avalon
Recall as beasts descant their woes
In desolation’s gated throes
We praised them once with tempered gold
And weaved their yarns of fables told
Until the night the temple fell
And stars of Heaven rained in Hell
The dragon’s tail ensnared our souls
And seared our flesh with bleeding coals
Be sheep or goats I cannot say
The wolves cared not but ravished prey
Atop the mountains, drowned in ash
With open wound, infected gash
Relief came not from golden calf
Asherah’s curse or Pharoah’s staff
But deep within the empty tomb
Where elders preached impending doom
With light eclipsed by dark embrace
But far from lepers draped in lace
Their faces like the air of night
We thus recall such bitter plight
Copyright 2003 Kris Avalon
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What Fools These Mortals Be...
A new emo song...fresh off the brain.
A Dog Called Einstein
we all have things we wish we could take back
this scenic road, sometimes we drive off track
but why regret the things we can’t erase?
just learn and keep on driving at a different pace
i turned a corner to my broken childhood
i know that i was blessed but times weren’t always good
then up the road to high school, wishing to forget
and now i realize my only true regret
chorus:
it’s not the things i did, the stupid things i said
nor the acceptance longing going to my head
it’s not what has been done or what i have been through
no, i regret the things i didn’t do
i could have made more friends if i’d reached out
or hung out at the prom if not for doubt
i could have told the girl next door my heart
instead of sitting in my room to fall apart
i’ve gotten over the decisions that i’ve made
at least the active, not the passive, i’m afraid
there’s no delorean to take me back in time
but i can learn and say my life is in its prime
copyright 2003 kris avalon
A Dog Called Einstein
we all have things we wish we could take back
this scenic road, sometimes we drive off track
but why regret the things we can’t erase?
just learn and keep on driving at a different pace
i turned a corner to my broken childhood
i know that i was blessed but times weren’t always good
then up the road to high school, wishing to forget
and now i realize my only true regret
chorus:
it’s not the things i did, the stupid things i said
nor the acceptance longing going to my head
it’s not what has been done or what i have been through
no, i regret the things i didn’t do
i could have made more friends if i’d reached out
or hung out at the prom if not for doubt
i could have told the girl next door my heart
instead of sitting in my room to fall apart
i’ve gotten over the decisions that i’ve made
at least the active, not the passive, i’m afraid
there’s no delorean to take me back in time
but i can learn and say my life is in its prime
copyright 2003 kris avalon
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Charlotte Sometimes
Charlotte Sometimes
-----------the cure
All the faces
All the voices blur
Change to one face
Change to one voice
Prepare yourself for bed
The light seems bright
And glares on white walls
All the sounds of
Charlotte sometimes
Into the night with
Charlotte sometimes
Night after night she lay alone in bed
Her eyes so open to the dark
The streets all looked so strange
They seemed so far away
But Charlotte did not cry
The people seemed so close
Playing expressionless games
The people seemed
So close
So many
Other names...
Sometimes I’m dreaming
Where all the other people dance
Sometimes I’m dreaming
Charlotte sometimes
Sometimes I’m dreaming
Expressionless the trance
Sometimes I’m dreaming
So many different names
Sometimes I’m dreaming
The sounds all stay the same
Sometimes I’m dreaming
She hopes to open shadowed eyes
On a different world
Come to me
Scared princess
Charlotte sometimes
On that bleak track
(See the sun is gone again)
The tears were pouring down her face
She was crying and crying for a girl
Who died so many years before...
Sometimes I dream
Where all the other people dance
Sometimes I dream
Charlotte sometimes
Sometimes I dream
The sounds all stay the same
Sometimes I’m dreaming
There are so many different names
Sometimes I dream
Sometimes I dream...
Charlotte sometimes crying for herself
Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself
But it’s always with love
With so much love it looks like
Everything else
Of Charlotte sometimes
So far away
Glass sealed and pretty
Charlotte sometimes
What saddens me is that so few people know what this amazing song is really about...
-----------the cure
All the faces
All the voices blur
Change to one face
Change to one voice
Prepare yourself for bed
The light seems bright
And glares on white walls
All the sounds of
Charlotte sometimes
Into the night with
Charlotte sometimes
Night after night she lay alone in bed
Her eyes so open to the dark
The streets all looked so strange
They seemed so far away
But Charlotte did not cry
The people seemed so close
Playing expressionless games
The people seemed
So close
So many
Other names...
Sometimes I’m dreaming
Where all the other people dance
Sometimes I’m dreaming
Charlotte sometimes
Sometimes I’m dreaming
Expressionless the trance
Sometimes I’m dreaming
So many different names
Sometimes I’m dreaming
The sounds all stay the same
Sometimes I’m dreaming
She hopes to open shadowed eyes
On a different world
Come to me
Scared princess
Charlotte sometimes
On that bleak track
(See the sun is gone again)
The tears were pouring down her face
She was crying and crying for a girl
Who died so many years before...
Sometimes I dream
Where all the other people dance
Sometimes I dream
Charlotte sometimes
Sometimes I dream
The sounds all stay the same
Sometimes I’m dreaming
There are so many different names
Sometimes I dream
Sometimes I dream...
Charlotte sometimes crying for herself
Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself
But it’s always with love
With so much love it looks like
Everything else
Of Charlotte sometimes
So far away
Glass sealed and pretty
Charlotte sometimes
What saddens me is that so few people know what this amazing song is really about...
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More Emo
I want to thank all of you who wished my a happy meloversary (if that’s what you kids are calling it). It’s hard to believe that exactly one year ago I began taking my shameful, shameful thoughts and posting them for the world to see. I have a statistics test tomorrow, so wish me luck! It shouldn’t be too hard, but I’m still completely apprehensive about it.
It’s been a while now since I’ve heard from my friend Ruth.* It kind of sucks, but I’m sure she’ll come around when she’s not too busy, at least I hope. I feel for her, and I pray for her constantly. I wrote her a song, and I’d love for her to hear it some time. Eric (user: Orpheum) seemed to think it was pretty cool. At least that’s what he said to my face. =)
New England Dreams
"Fell down the stairs again last night"
Is what she always used to say
And then we’d humor her
But I wish I could make it go away
Her daddy loves to drink
Three forties in a day considered mild
So reckless and so wild
And now his only child
She wants to run away
How can you offer help to one
Who always hides behind a mask?
When she was too afraid to tell
Then we were too afraid to ask
She said she dreams of raising horses
In New England, maybe Maine
But dreams can seem insane
When life is endless pain
She wants to run away from home
But she doesn’t want to be alone
But she’s more alone in a group
I sometimes feel that way too
I don’t know what to do, but maybe
Run away, have faith and maybe someday
I’ll find you in New England
But dreams have a way of waking us up abruptly
I always pray for her protection
And I pray she’d be set free
It’s hard to empathize
With such a life of tragic misery
I told her once that if she
Ever needed help I would be there
I think she knows I care
But still she wouldn’t dare
She wants to run away...
Copyright 2003 Kris Avalon
*(The name of my friend has been changed to protect her innocence and/or privacy)
It’s been a while now since I’ve heard from my friend Ruth.* It kind of sucks, but I’m sure she’ll come around when she’s not too busy, at least I hope. I feel for her, and I pray for her constantly. I wrote her a song, and I’d love for her to hear it some time. Eric (user: Orpheum) seemed to think it was pretty cool. At least that’s what he said to my face. =)
New England Dreams
"Fell down the stairs again last night"
Is what she always used to say
And then we’d humor her
But I wish I could make it go away
Her daddy loves to drink
Three forties in a day considered mild
So reckless and so wild
And now his only child
She wants to run away
How can you offer help to one
Who always hides behind a mask?
When she was too afraid to tell
Then we were too afraid to ask
She said she dreams of raising horses
In New England, maybe Maine
But dreams can seem insane
When life is endless pain
She wants to run away from home
But she doesn’t want to be alone
But she’s more alone in a group
I sometimes feel that way too
I don’t know what to do, but maybe
Run away, have faith and maybe someday
I’ll find you in New England
But dreams have a way of waking us up abruptly
I always pray for her protection
And I pray she’d be set free
It’s hard to empathize
With such a life of tragic misery
I told her once that if she
Ever needed help I would be there
I think she knows I care
But still she wouldn’t dare
She wants to run away...
Copyright 2003 Kris Avalon
*(The name of my friend has been changed to protect her innocence and/or privacy)
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Cheer up, Emo Kid
I’m kind of upset that the Halo Friendlies keep cancelling their concerts. I was looking forward to seeing them on March 3 and then they backed out; I bought tickets to see them at Chain Reaction on March 30 and, once again, they’ve just announced that they’re backing out! First I was upset that they did a series of 21-and-over shows, and now I’m upset that they’re canning their all-ages shows. One of these days I’d like to see them live. I’m totally addicted to their song "Over It," even though their lyrics depress me for the most part. That’s my own problem, I guess. I’m still looking forward to the March 30 show, though, because the Eyeliners are playing and I think I like them even more than the Halos. If you haven’t heard them, CHECK THEM OUT! They’re on Lookout Records and their website is "theeyeliners.com." I’ve been listening to their song "When Will I See You Again" religiously! I can’t wait to see them live, and I hope they sign my CD. I’ve been dying to meet Laura, especially! I have the biggest idolatrous crush on her. I’m really corny, because I see this concert as the highlight of my whole month. I’ve even made myself a countdown calendar where I can cross out each day as it ends, and the concert draws more near. If I keep my fingers crossed, maybe I’ll get to see the Halos in April with Squad 5-0, even though I really am not fond of Squad 5-0 at all. I’ll do it for the Halos.
On the 17th, I’m going to try and snag a job at the new Islands Restaurant in Cucamonga. It sucks being unemployed and having no money, but the Lord has provided thus far. I just want to become independent, help out my grandparents, and actually get some savings in the bank! If the Cucamonga job doesn’t work out, there’s another Islands opening in Riverside that I can head over to on April 7. It’s good to have fallback plans. Lately I haven’t been searching for a job much at all. I applied at Sam Ash, though they haven’t called back (maybe I should try calling them), and I meant to apply at some weird Philly Cheese Steak shop, but never got around to it. I think that subconsciously I’m afraid that if I get a job in the immediate future, I may have to sacrifice the Eyeliners show. That’s a pretty lame reason to remain dormant, but I’m sure laziness has something to do with it as well. Sam Ash is technically the only place I’ve applied to since November.
I corresponded with Jackson today through e-mail (first time in a long time) and it was refreshing. He seems to be doing well, and when I hear from him, I reminisce about my days in Long Beach, hanging out in crowded shopping centers, doing homework on the patios of cozy coffeeshops while enjoying the frigid ocean air, trying to get into Live Bait despite the age requirement, hanging out with my close friends that I still feel quite ambivalent about, writing songs in the Wendy’s parking lot with my acoustic guitar, wooing the object of my unrecquited puppy love, chasing Save Ferris around southern California...*sigh* I could go on all day. I still get homesick for that place and I often wonder if I have sinned against God by destroying his blessing with my complacency.
On the 17th, I’m going to try and snag a job at the new Islands Restaurant in Cucamonga. It sucks being unemployed and having no money, but the Lord has provided thus far. I just want to become independent, help out my grandparents, and actually get some savings in the bank! If the Cucamonga job doesn’t work out, there’s another Islands opening in Riverside that I can head over to on April 7. It’s good to have fallback plans. Lately I haven’t been searching for a job much at all. I applied at Sam Ash, though they haven’t called back (maybe I should try calling them), and I meant to apply at some weird Philly Cheese Steak shop, but never got around to it. I think that subconsciously I’m afraid that if I get a job in the immediate future, I may have to sacrifice the Eyeliners show. That’s a pretty lame reason to remain dormant, but I’m sure laziness has something to do with it as well. Sam Ash is technically the only place I’ve applied to since November.
I corresponded with Jackson today through e-mail (first time in a long time) and it was refreshing. He seems to be doing well, and when I hear from him, I reminisce about my days in Long Beach, hanging out in crowded shopping centers, doing homework on the patios of cozy coffeeshops while enjoying the frigid ocean air, trying to get into Live Bait despite the age requirement, hanging out with my close friends that I still feel quite ambivalent about, writing songs in the Wendy’s parking lot with my acoustic guitar, wooing the object of my unrecquited puppy love, chasing Save Ferris around southern California...*sigh* I could go on all day. I still get homesick for that place and I often wonder if I have sinned against God by destroying his blessing with my complacency.
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