Okay, to start with before I forget: My msn is imperfect.7@hotmail.com

Okay to address a few things here... I love James to death, he really was a great guy. We had major issues. He couldn't let go of things from my past. He couldn't look past them. And when he would crawl into bed with me at night, this is all he saw. All my faults and flaws, my mistakes. In the end this is what killed us. He didn't love me nearly as much as I loved him. He couldn't see me for me. He couldn't accept me. Even though he is not perfect himself, and I totally accepted that. I embraced the fact he's fucked up. But it didn't matter to him. He couldn't let anything go. He told me straight out [even though I didn't want this either, it didn't matter, just the way he did it was harsh] that he never wanted to have children with me, nor marry me cause of my beliefs and my world view. They weren't ideal or a kin to his. Which -really- is pretty stupid. And wouldn't you want your kid to be raised with different views so they can decide for themselves what is right to them! That's just me.

Anyways, I don't know if this answers any of your questions, but this is the best way I can explain it. Ha.

Anyways, add me and we will chat in a better way and maybe I can explain this better to you. or not... lol

xxx
♥
I went to London this weekend. Friday. And I'm still here...it's not Tuesday. I'm not sure how it happened, just did. And honestly, he has been amazing. I know when he's lying and when he is telling the truth, and he has been nothing but honest with me. We literally have just been sitting across from each other - filling the gaps. Filling in all the blanks of the last 13 years. We've been telling things to each other that we would never tell to anyone else. I know him more than I know some people in my life - like James. It's really messed up, but I have never trusted someone so much before. It's truly a feat. My trust is not easily given, but it's like he has earned it and I can't stop myself. He said it's the same for him. He just has this need to tell me everything.
I met his mother for the first time, and she usually hates most of girls [well not hate but doesn't trust] her son brings home. But with me, Ehren said it was really strange to him to see her like that, but she just opened right up to me, and she didn't even really know me. She only heard briefly about me ... just random facts type thing. But yeah, he said he has never heard her like that with anyone.

Like I said before, we aren't telling anyone about us. We are just what we are. We both just got out of relationships -but we know for a fact this isn't some rebound thing. It's not just to get over the breakup or down, it's just this feels right. We both have never been so fucking sure about something. I mean, it's always been him for me. Ever since I met him 13 years ago. I have only ever wanted him, and it's the vice versa for him. Every relationship [now] seems like it was just training so we know what we want or need from one so we can be together in the fullest sense of the word.
It's totally messed up, and totally bizarre, but I honestly couldn't be happier. I was talking to his mum about this, and she told me that Ehren always seemed content in his relationships, which is great, but contentment is not what makes things last. That's basically settling. And I have been only content with my relationships lately... but together, we are happy. It's actually ridiculous how much is there between us still.