It's been a while since I've been around melodramatic. It's really peaceful here still, which is good, all of the other blog sites have become extremely corporate. Since, I left here I've been pretty blocked when it comes to writing and expressing what's on my mind. Everytime I come back however, I feel my fingers twitch with creativity, it could be the colors, or the layout, in anycase it's hard to stop this feeling.

Your tyranny. Your control. The words you give to me, on the platter, with my heart on the side. But your words are fickle, and deceiptful. Between the words you say to me and your heart, stands another, as you lay in his arms. Well did he make you feel special, for that gleeming moment. Were his lips better than mine. So you think he'll be better doing what I do best, or did you even, ever give me a chance. I've been up for days crying, because my heart is gone, given to another and me left for dead. I've been up for days and these walls are getting smaller as my days are getting longer. We'll i hope your happy, I hope you choke on your guilt. I guess I was just the butt end of a bad joke. We'll i hope your decent enough to shed a tear for me, and the heart you threw to waste. I'm dying and noone around me is crying, because of what I seemed to have done to you. Yet here are my words written in blood that you never heard. I'm dying and noone around me is crying, because of you.

I havent been on in forever so i thought ied leave a small update. Was accepted to college, not really a big deal accept I skipped 2 years of High School, which I hate more than anything. The worlds narrow minded issues are all there hiding in highschool. Its enough to make you wanna kill yourself. But in short im glad i could skip half of it. Im a huge computer nerd so Im going in for computer science, with aspirations of being a great game designer. Who knows if Ill make anything, but i believe in me and thats all that matters really. Had a really weird dream last night that I said something to piss cat off, one of rachels good friends. Now i didnt mean to in the dream that is. But it really really does bother me that her bestest friends dislike me. ::Sigh:: sometimes things work out like that. Its not anyones fault so no real fingers to point. Just i guess how somethings work out. Its like that in life. Sometimes people point the finger when there is noone to blame except maybe themselves. Now im not a mean guy, there are alotta people on melo even that know I would never shoot down an opinion unless I was joking or having good intelligent point/counterpoint chatting(but not say the words suck ass). It kinda bothers me most, I guess, that people think I actually am that mean. Aside from that Rachel and I have been together for over a year now. We are practically engaged, which is ironic since melo is where we met. Phsyco retarded intenet realtionships. But we’ve lasted through some hard times with more to come. I can only hope that the ball rolls into a nice smooth court, and if not, then Ill play the cards I was delt. No one can decide what will happen in a raltaionship. Most people can’t and won’t "Put it down". Its impossible. Relationships aren’t here for you to "Put something down" or lay down the law. They are here so you can have somthing to run away to. Something to cry too when your ashames. Something to sing to(though your singing is terrible). There here to be the icing on the cake. Not the little torture chamber in the dungeon. Sometimes you CAN love the wrong person, and yes you can love someone who doesn’t love you. Always remember this in life. Right now i have that love icing on my life cake. I cant control how the icing spreads or where it goes, or how fast it gets eaten. Nor can you. You can only drive the sweetness away by "Putting it down"(Laying down the law). So its been a good refecting time for me. Just respect one another, and live life one day at a time. Dont plan things out, and dont expect your plans to work out, but just because your plans dont work out doesnt mean where your going is bad. :)

I was thinking about my melo and how it seems to flow, and really be calming to the eyes and mind. So Ive kinda decided to change the music to something relaxing, something you can really meditate to while reading over entrys and such. Essentially I would like this to be like a Melo Cafe. So enjoy some of the earlier works and submit some of your own to------> mehoron@bellsouth.net

If its good ill throw it up. Enjoy the new peaceful hangout melo kids!

Im worn out. Im tired tonight.
Im thinking of letting go.
But hearning your voice, just means everything.
Im falling tonight as I fall asleep,
because you’re not beside me.

Ill hold in the tears for yet another night.
Ill take a breath, maintain composure.
I know somday it will be okay.
But Im fading away.
Emotions are wearing thin.

I dont know if I can ever stand again.
So come pick me up before its too late.
Come pick me up before I slip away.
You just need a little to hold on to,
but I have nothing, no hands to clentch.

Im just to far away.
Well, if this is it let me just say that,
it was great, you were beutiful and brilliant,
and Ill look forward the day we’ll meet again.

"Your too tired, well Ive always been."

Theres a ringing in my room tonight
Its a sound thats all around
Its the sound of my defeat
My only hope 2000 miles away.

Well, i hope your having fun
I hope you havent forgotten
But i guess your too tired
Guess your just to damn tired to see

"Theres a world crumbling around us
But your too blind to see, the pain
Oh yea, the pain that i carry,
Your just too tired to see" I said
And im crumbling down.

"Welcome to the real world"
a girl said to me with a chuckle,
I replyed with the tears
that you just couldnt see

"Theres a would crumbling around you
But your too blind to see, the pain
Oh yea, the pain that you hide
Your just to tired to see" I said.
And im crubling down.

Im stading from 2000 miles away.
But your too blind to see
Oh yea, see your way to me.
I guess your too damn tired, well so am I

Theres a world crumbling around us
But were too blind to see, the pain
Oh yea, the pain that we carry,
Were just too tired to see
And im crumbling down.

Ive been through it all, but
No, youll never know, cuz
Your just too tired to see
All this pain carry.

Last night i had a dream, that I was a great man. I had all the riches I could ever have. But in this dream I was older. I remembered back, and the only times i was happy was when i was with you. But i had lost you years long before. So i sat there alone. Hideing behind my money and posessions, no direction, no place to go, and no one to love. Then I had another but this time it was a more modest, though we had everything we wanted, eachother, i woke up thinking about you then, and the recourse youed have on my life. But i guess i just wanted you to remember that I loved you. One dream you didnt know I loved you, but I did. And the other we both knew. I think I like the second one better.

Ive walked around this earth, but havent seen anything. Been there and back again, but im still standing still. Ive met many people, but havent had many friends. Ive had many relationships, but not much love. Ive had some love, but it was never to die for, never to fight for. Then at the lowest point when I had finally given up on love, life, myself, my family. You decided to step in, wheather you knew it or not, you saved my life. Every tear I cried, every scream of pain, and every bad dream was worth it to find you. They are the things that led me to you. They are the things that make this love, between you and I, to die for. But know that a love to die for, will never kill you. This is to a girl who became my life, by saving it. And now that im stronger than ever, maybe I can save you too.

Then you die with a numbness full of sigh.
Then you realize you didnt die cuz you were old.
You died cuz you were all alone.

These cold nights spent in my room just outside of yours, but i can hear your heart beat, and i can still feel your breath. Im leaning on your door, and all i can feel is my hand slipping into your sheets and over your body as i inch closer. Mebe this time i can pull through. Mebe this time i can live again. Its been half a year since we fell in love, and i still cant go a morning without your kiss, touch, or voice. I cant stand thinking of you going to bed without me to pull the sheets over you. And all these nights are spent outside your door, just knowing your okay, thinking your having a wonderful dream, makes me complete. Its been half a year today, and I still cant wait to see you smile on our forever.

He watches the bustle of people on the street as he sits on this lonely bench. The day is bright full of opritunity and warmth. The sun glaring off the boys pasty cheeks, warming them to a pinkish tint. His little legs swinging back and fourth. Watching all the business men and women walk by on there cell phones. He looked at them with a smile on his face. Them in there suit and ties, yea he wanted to be like them. The powerhouses of this crazy economy. He wanted to be in the so called "Rat Race" and he wanted to be first. He wanted to be the one on top. He steped down from the bench and began his walk down the street to the shop his mother was working at. Jauntily walking the street watching the people. Thinking through all the steps in his mind of how to get where he wanted to be. He turned the corner and into the shop his mother owned. It wasnt a big shop it specialized in the selling of candy and other assorted snack and soda beverages. Quite simply put she owned a General Store. It was infact called the Corner General such a simple place in the middle of New York. He walked up to the counter and said "A bottle of bud mam and make it quick" In a corny Eastwood impression. She replied "Not till your 21 clint". "Aww mom come on no one hasta know". "But i will, now go in the back and restock those BBq chips". "Yes mam". The boy walked to the back his arms dangling at his sides, a pouty look on his face. The mom just looked at him smiled and said to herself. "He’s Gunna be something great oneday". She always saw him staring at the business men and women, and she also knew the whole alcohol thing was just to be cute. This kid was to smart to kill himself with that mess. The smile ran away from her face when she turned to a coustomer with a 7 inch long piece of cold metal pointed right at her head. {TBC}

Last night Rachel said something about me telling her how she’s god. Well im crazy as hell, as many of you prolly know. And to me she is godlike. So I thought Ied put this song up by Vertical Horizon..............You know what I take that back Rachel isnt God, she is my wonderful miracle from God. The single perfect being that I see.

Is there a trace
Inside her face
Of a lonely miracle
And so you wait
And lie awake
For a lonely miracle

Why is it that every time i have something good and im actually happy, someone always finds there way into changing it or taking it away. Like someone enjoys watching me suffer. Watching every bit of happiness seep from me. Why is life worth living if everything is taken away all the time. Then i remember that it isnt about the things around you, but really its about your body, yourself, and whats good for the people you really truely love. So ill carry on, with this frown and remember the good times that will fill me with a bit of warmth through these cold time. Ill remember my love, and know that someday ill be with her again. :’(. Rachel here is my song, our song, to you. I hope it always reminds you of me, the good things, and this undieing love we both share.

This life is part of a whole plan. Life, it seems, always seems to be a troubling thing when dealing with the "love" side of things. Really nun of us know what true love is until were ready to say this is it. This person right here is the one i wanna be with, not only for the rest of our lives, but for all eternity. Until that moment you can say you know everything there is to know about love. Or you can sit and say i dont believe in love. But i promise you this: You will one day know what real love is. You will know what its like to spend every waking moment with someone and never get tired of them. You will know what its like to look into someones eyes and see the perfect reflection of you. You will know what its like to find your soul. And from this you will be happy in life with yourself and everything you are.