i am a spare part
i am an extra wheel
i am useless
i am plain
i am nothing

If you were_____what would you be?

[a flower] - a poppy

[a fruit] - ugly fruit..teehee

[vegetable] - aubergine

[a spice] - vanilla

[a color] - black and white and red stripey :D


Are you left handed or right handed? ummm...both!

Are you smart?: nope...

What’s your middle name? don’t have one thank god! i don’t need an *even*
longer name!

How many personalities do you have? i’m a gemini..sooo..2

How many piercings do you have? 7 in ears, 1 in belly button

Tattoos? none yet

Can you do a cartwheel? nope..i’m ungraceful and clumsy

Do you have bangs? nope

Do you have contact lenses? nope

Can you drive? nope...god..i’m crap!

What do u drive?: umm...my parents mad..haha..i’m so funny *dies*

Do you snore? nope

drool in your sleep? not that i’m aware of

Lick your envelopes or use a sponge? lol..lick

The best awards show? awards? ummm...NME awards...when that guy from that
band got on stage and didn’t say anything for like..10 minutes..and then
some guy from the crowd shouts ’get off the stage..you’re only the fucking
drummer’ hahaha

Do you like onions? yes! raw

Like cotton candy? in small amounts

What instruments can you play? piano and guitar

What do you sleep in? a glittery ’placebo’ tshirt and purple socks

What’s your bedtime? whenever i’m tired

Do you like to dance? who doesn’t?!

Do you like to sing? yes! but only to the dogs

r u any good at it? they haven’t complained as of yet

How many Cd’s do u have? quite a few

Do you like to talk on the phone? depends who i’m talking to!

How many times have you moved houses? 3 times

Is your room messy? nooooooooooo!! it’s tidy!!

do u like to finger paint? i do!! i like to potato print too!

Do u sleep with socks on? yuhhuh

U shy? i guess...it depends on the situation..and the people

Do you talk to yourself? yup

What’s your favorite outfit? oh dear...just one? do i have to pick? i love
all my clothes!!!

Do you believe in ghosts? i guess

do u believe in Bigfoot? umm...nope

What’s your favorite feature? good hair

What do u do when u get nervous? talk to much and forget to breathe

Who’s your role model? dita von teese


THE LAST PERSON WHO:

Called You: helen

Slept In Your Bed: freddie (the jack russel)

Saw You Cry: alessio, helen, helen and dmitri

Made You Cry: jeff buckley

spent the night at your house? maria

Shared A Drink With: sara

Went to the movies with??: hmmmm...don’t remember

Went To The Mall With: the mall?? the last person i went shopping with...joe

Said They Were Going to Kill You: no one’s ever said that to me :(


HAVE YOU EVER...

Been To New York? yep

Been To Florida? uhhuh

California? nope

Hawaii?: nope

China?: no

Canada?: yay! was born there

Danced? i never stop

Stalked Someone?: hahaha...*cough*cuteredhairedboywithacigarette*cough*
lol...you know who i’m talking about sara :P

Wish you were the opposite sex?: all the time

Had an imagainary friend? nope :( deprived childhood!

if you could return, don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade.

i’m sure i’m not being rude, but it’s just your attitude,
it’s tearing me apart, it’s ruining everything.

i swore i would be true, and honey, so did you.
so why were you holding her hand? is that the way we stand?
were you lying all the time? was it just a game to you?

but i’m in so deep. you know i’m such a fool for you.
you got me wrapped around your finger,
do you have to let it linger?

oh, I thought the world of you.
i thought nothing could go wrong,
but i was wrong. i was wrong.
if you could get by, trying not to lie,
things wouldn’t be so confused and i wouldn’t feel so used,
but you always really knew, i just wanna be with you.

so wow..i had the most amazing week!! i saw robin black play at the underworld on tuesday...it was the best gig i’ve ever been to! it was sooooo good..and i spoke to lots of people which was cool; then after they finished playing we hung out with them at the bar. it was just the coolest thing. i got a kiss from all of them! teehee *beams* starboy is TOTALLY my favourite member now! although robin comes in a very close second ;)
i’ve been feeling really happy all week..things just seem to be good for once. i’ve got a bitch of a chest infection now though...just in time for the fucking weekend...great!
mmmmmm..robin black....*drools*

i’ve been so lazy with melo..i’m sorry melo! i love you..honestly i do.
hmmm...what’s been going on...where to start? firstly..someone i thought i’d never talk to again contacted me last week..and strangely things are strange! they’re back to normal..maybe that makes me dumb..maybe i’m going to get my heart broken again but i have to give it another chance...if it goes wrong it goes wrong but i have to take that chance.
i went out to celebrate clara’s birthday last night, it was lots of fun..we went to a club called ’after skool’ near covent garden..the music was a bit shitty to begin with but it over all it was an excellent night. tobias was telling us about his dentist and his grandpa’s three sets of teeth (trust tobias...i HOPE he was drunk)dave crashed at clara’s house too...he borrowed one of her nighties..teehee.
i have a physics test tomorrow that i’ve actually revised for!! but now if i fail i don’t have any excuse other than that i’m stupid. umm...apart from that...england won the rugby world cup..but i don’t know a thing abot rugby or ever watch it so it doesn’t really mean much to me!

i have cold toes!! it rained this morning..my jeans are like a sponge..and my converse are so old..i had to sit through maths with damp feet..next to an open window!! hehe..i love to moan so really..that made my day :D

i wore the ’all-powerful’ gothic necklace (that my grandparents bought me) today...it has magical powers!! it makes all the pretty boys talk to me! i think i’m going to wear it more often..lol

nothing else really happened today...except i found out that i’m majorly squirmish...went with rebecca to get her tongue bar changed and i couldn’t watch..even though there was no pain or blood or anything..it just really freaked me out

....the necklace from the thrift shop....

today has been a surprisingly good first day back at college after the holiday. i completely fucked up a physics test but i think everyone did so it’s ok :D it was really really nice to see everyone again, especially helen and helen. helen’s going to be 17 on friday! how old is that! she’s going to be able to drive us to college EVERY day...no more buses!!

oooooooh...anja is the sweetest person bless her. all last week (before the holidays) we were talking about going to see HIM but we never got round to actually doing anything about it and then sitting there in maths she pulls out 2 tickets to go and see HIM!!! she was shopping in charing cross road and stopped by at the ticket office and got them! i can’t wait!!

another thing i can’t wait for is next weekend (the 15th). i’m dragging maria down to stay beautiful..it’s going to be awesome. i’m gonna make some alterations to my

have you ever wanted something so much it hurts, and even the good times make you cry. when all you want is the only thing you can’t have and everything you’ve got is not enough.
everything makes me feel so empty, with you is where I want to be, missing you is just killing me.
where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which i find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. i miss you like hell.

i wish i didn’t get ill every time i have a holiday
i wish nail varnish didn’t chip
i wish i could turn my empathy on and off like a light switch.
i wish that people didn’t shout
i wish christmas came more than once a year
i wish singing birds dressed me and combed my hair every morning
i wish all the good ones weren’t gay
i wish people told the truth
i wish the computer didn’t break everytime i’m doing something important
i wish i didn’t know what a broken heart felt like
i wish i knew what to say
i wish i wasn’t so shy
i wish everyone would smile
i wish people called when they said they would
i wish the news wasn’t so depressing
i wish the neighbours didn’t complain when i put the music up loud
i wish i had the guts to dance in the street
i wish i could be the best everything...the best daughter, the best friend, the best sister, the best listener, the best lover..the best everything

went to stay with my grandparents for the weekend, it was quite fun...apart from i have bronchitus and feel awful..and look awful as well no doubt.

a good thing though was that i went to this...ummm...i guess kinda vintage/antique shop..that sold EVERYTHING today. it was such an awesome place, i bought this gorgeous black dress for

oh my god...elliot smith...why? it’s so sad..such a genuine tragedy. rest in peace elliot, i hope you’re happier now. being everything in music takes being everything in life. what is left of elliot is a stream of light, blur of emotions and experiences, always moving, changing, breathing, alive. cursed or blessed, here or there, he is never anything one. You can’t define him. You can’t define his music, either...it’s just like jeff all over again.

hmmm...i don’t really know. i feel good!..i think. i don’t really feel anything to be honest; i’m so tired! but *blah blah blah moan moan moan* i’ll live! can’t wait untill next week, half term at last! i can’t believe i’ve been in college since AUGUST!! hopefully do something with clara, and something fun for halloween!

going through somewhat of a manics phase at the moment...i just love them to bits! especially richey...bless him, i hope he’s safe and happy. the things they sing about just seem so relevant.

i had a really strange dream...i was in a car with helen, and she was driving and we were trying to get somewhere...but every road we took lead to the middle of nowhere, i don’t understand it..maybe it has a really deep psychological meaning...i’m not sure!

tomorrow rebecca’s going to get her tongue peirced, i would but i’m a chicken, so i’m just going to get another hole in my ears. i’m nervous for her but she isn’t even worried! lets see what happens