But I will still keep pushin... I can't loose.. I will die trying.

Unfortunately I was born to a mother who didn't want children, a brother that is selfish and much like his mother, and a father that was too madly in love with the woman to notice. Some of the worst things ever said to me by anyone.. have came from her mouth. Fortunately, in the midst of all this chaos.. I have a older sister which I think if it wasn't for her I wouldn't know what love was. She's my mother, my father my brother and my sister..She's the one ounce of love that I've felt from another human being.

The world is full of jacked up people..I know first hand.. people who take advantage of your kindness..and cause you soo much pain you literally hurt inside. But all this pain..will turn me into the best nurse, the best wife, the best mother that I can be.. because when you've truly been hurt like I have.. you never want anyone you love.. to feel an ounce of what you felt.. EVER.

Keep pushing me down..I'll only get back up and stand taller.

I'm alot like my mother..which terrifies me.. I'm controlling.. I'm harsh.. I'm selfish as far as feelings go.. I think about how I feel.. what I should be getting.. what I put forth...I go out of my way and get mad when others don't or just cannot at the moment...I took my living by myself..getting my own apartment (yay!) for me to realize that there are a lot of things that I need to change... It's like I try to force people to be the way I think they should be...IDK.. I didn't realize I was soo much like her!.

Just while I'm in school.. I waste A LOT of time on there.. and I care wayy too much about what people are doing and what they say.. I need a break from the cyberworld.. Melo is reasonable because..it's more intimate..Facebook is all this crap thrown at you from all kinds of people all at once.. IDK.. I know I act like this like once a year haha.. I just need a break from society and become a hermit and focus on me.. There's alot of things I want to accomplish.. and if I could calculate all the time I waste on FB.. sheesh.. (calculator please).. haha.

Its funny how bad things happen..which you think are bad at the time.. but end up being a blessing in disguise. For example.. I went out in December.. some friends and I went to this bar called Blue Martini.. and I held her keys in my clutch for her.. and I LOST HER KEYS!.. She was pissed off at me.. so I went to try to go find them.. and met.. my now current boyfriend.

I was let go (cuz I was seasonal) from T-mobile I started working there cuz I needed more time for school so I quit my higher paying more hours a week job and worked at T-Mobile... Now I'm unemployed.. and have way more time for school.. and got a large sum of money from my tax return and financial aid.. enough to stay unemployed for the rest of the semester.. and I'm one class away from being in the nursing program this fall :).

Bad things happen for a reason.. it may be a blessing in disguise.. it's happened to me soo many times in my life it's not even funny. It may be taking me 2000 years to graduate from college lol but when I look at where I began and where I am now.. it might not of happened in the amount of time I wanted it to or in the city that I want to live in.. but it's happening.. thru faith and perseverance I will meet my goals. I will not give up..

Now I'm going to go to Sunrise childrens hospital to volunteer since I'm not working and have only school twice a week.. I really want to get my feet wet in my future career and I want to do something more rewarding... so that's my update on life...