there is a girl in hell
broken, bleeding, burning, and sighing
fucking men
fuck love
there really is no reason to trust them
... in the end...

man.. the 6th was my 18th birthday. Now I'm all old-like. I dont like how melo is at the moment... and I flippin missed my Meloversary because of this stuff.

Adopt Your Own Emo Kid!

someone runs their finger down your back
and the chill falls from your ears to your calves
your body shakes beyond control
visions passing through your mind
simple things trigger memories
some treasures
some you wish you’d never find
but they dig them up again
never knowing how hard you tried
to push through them
to deal
to survive
they dont understand that you’re okay
keep asking how you cope
keep asking how you got away
theres nothing more to say
lets just leave it that way

I’m back from Germany with a smile on my face... That place has stolen my heart...

leah

puts index finger against temple
makes gun firing motion
imaginary suicide
now thats the way to go

yeah.. i was bored, and this new poll sucks. but, pshhh.. i was getting bored of seeing noone vote. so vote. :p

ich bin selfish

(x) i have never been drunk
(_) i never have kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) i never have kissed a member of the same sex
(x) i never crashed a friend’s car
(x) i have never been to japan
(x) i never rode in a taxi
(_) i never have been in love
(x) i never had sex
(x) i never have had sex in public
(_) i never have been dumped
(x) i never shoplifted
(x) i never have been fired
(_) i have never cut myself on purpose
(_) i never have been in a fist fight
(x) i never had a 3-some
(x) i never snuck out of my parent’s house
(x) i never have been tied up (sexually)
(x) i never been caught masturbating
(x) i never pissed on myself
(x) i never had sex with a member of the opposite sex
(x) i never have been arrested
(x) i never made out with a stranger
(X) i never stole anything from my job
(X) i never celebrated new year’s in time square
(X) i never went on a blind date
(_) i never lied to a friend
(x) i never had a crush on a teacher
(X) i never celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) i never have been to europe
(x) i never skipped school
(x) i never slept with a co-worker
(x) i never have been fisted and/or have fisted anyone
(x) i never have thrown up in a bar
(x) i never have purposely set myself on fire
(_) i never have eaten sushi
(X) i never have been snowboarding
(_) i never have been happy with myself
(X) i never have met a movie star
(x) i never had sex in a pool
(x) i never went to a prom
(x) i never bungee jumped
(X) i never have been to a pop concert
(x) i never have dated someone for over a year
(x) i never sold naked pictures of myself
(_) i have never been in a car accident (well.. not my own accident)
(_) i have never seen a dog naked. (i dont understand this one)
(_) i have never slept in the nude.
(x) i have never had a one night stand.
(_) i’ve never eaten cheesecake
(x) i’ve never had jury duty
(x) i’ve never read books on how to improve my sexual performance
(x) i’ve never run away from home.
(_) i’ve never wanted to go to a psychiatrist
(_) i’ve never held a job
(_) i’ve never learned a traditional dance
(_) i’ve never broken a window
(_) i’ve never gone a week without sleeping.
(x) i’ve never got a facial piercing
(X) i’ve never raced someone to finish a Large Slurpee
(_) i’ve never been declared habitually truant
(_)I’ve never met a fellow meloer in person

the slow tatter-tat of the rain drops on my orange tree
guess i’m home
not alone
look
the sky is dark i must be home
and my feet
shaken from a beating heart
the thunder’s back
and heaven’s dripping
who’s crying up there?
could i hold your hand?
make it better for you?
or could i join in sobbing
build up puddles in the public park
so i can jump in barefoot in the moonlight
so i can take a nice walk in the dark
and cry alone

rain always makes me feel at home

i am but a simple girl
living life with a simple mind
noone looks to her for help
i look to you for good advice
not ready to fully experience life

i have but simple ideals
i know not what to do
will you show me what you want
and teach me how to feel
its wanting and wanting

i am the sushi queen
living in a dream
the innocence gets to me
that fragile fragile thing you see
its just not me

things from in the past
have scarred me up till late
in my dreams i often wake
in a sweaty sobbing state
i am no longer afraid

smother me

obsessed



but i’m allowed, right?

the most wonderful of all
the feeling of a dimly lit softball field
the cold wet grass
leather glove on my left
cap on my head

its a wonderful day for a ballgame
i feel the breeze run through my hair
and the cleats squeek past in the grass
as i dive to reach for that foul ball

will you be out there and watch the game
cheer me on in the one thing i love
even if i lose
will you hug me and tell me i did fine
that i tried my hardest and thats all you could expect

i dont want that
i want criticism
i want yelling
i want to deserve your love
i want to deserve your praise
Do I?

I love you for your loving gaze
That draws me deep
It