Yep just a couple of more days. Don't have any idea whats going on for my birthday, but I hope it's not just another day like every other year.

That my girl didn't care what other people think or thought. Where we could just do what we wanted to and not have to worry about what people might say. It's annoying as FUCK!!!! Now she doesn't care about shit when it comes to things that she wants to do and how she wants to do them. And I think that is fucked up. I don't know if it's just me being how I be or if there is something up with her.

I sometimes wonder if I can really trust someone who doesn't like to tell me shit. Sometimes something so simple like who called? I don't need you to get all defensive and try to change the subject. Just answer the fucking question. A guy shouldn't be calling your phone at midnight to talk unless it's your man. Just like if my phone rings at midnight and it's a girl you get upset and pissy at me.

Things will have to change or this isn't going to work. I expect you to do the same things that you expect me to do. And I don't think that is to much to ask for!!!

So I'm on my way home. Can't wait for my flight home for two or three weeks. Yep that's it haven't booked my flight home yet. I need to do that next week. But I'm not worried, if I end up staying longer than so be it. I'm excited to go home for a short and see some fam, friends and what knot. It sucks tho, cuz my flight just got delayed for 45 mins. Gerrr....... Oh well good thing I have my laptop!

So I picked up my ticket to fly home. I leave on July 13th and will be gone for two weeks. It's going to be a blast, I haven't been home in a year. I can't wait to see my family and friends.

I'm so angry right now!!!!!!! I don't even have anything to say because it will just make me more pissed off.......

I think I need to cool off before I write!

The reasons I do the things I do is because I cannot stand by and watch the heart I adore push its life into a ring of sorrow and frustration. I watch it drink in spirits to calm his troubles- I watch it breathe in death to experience life...yet the whole portion of my heart desires to see the heart I adore spring fourth and beat with a exuberance of one that has been delivered and set free from the bondage of the past...a heart that knows who he is in the eye of his Creator, a heart that loves directly selflessly instead of indirectly hiding the selfishness in a cloak of selfless servant hood and works. Oh dear heart will you please allow yourself to be free... confess life over yourself, breathe in the fresh air from the lungs of your Creator, take in the blood that was shed for you that it would run through your veins and liberate you--give you life, zoe...love, agape--and establish that hope that was promised to you and those alike. Oh dear heart will you no longer hide your troubles away from those who were sent to help, but look past their imperfections to see the perfect God within them..the one who isn't a man that he would lie or forsake you...Oh dear heart would you lift your hands and fall to your knees and allow honesty to flow freely from your lips, the truth will return just as freely with salt to preserve your life... Oh dear heart would you look around and see that you are no longer bound but you bind yourself but refusing to open your eyes and see and to quiet your mouth to hear... Oh dear heart you do not have to worry for you and I alike were bought with a price- our lives are no longer our own..we are to be a living testimonies of his goodness and mercy that is without measure.. Oh dear heart let Him love you unconditionally...accept that you are alive, accept that you are free, and look to Him first and he will provide all that you need as you give Him what he needs...to be needed He needs. Oh dearest of hearts...you are loved and accepted...Not a jerk, not a liar, not a cheat, not an assassin of character, not be-littler of hope, not a self-centered person, not a murder, or thief, not a discontent, not a fearful soul, not a useless individual, not a rejected life, nor any other lie the enemy has thrown toward you. Know you are more valuable than you realize, more valuable than you can fathom...start to live according to your worth in Christ Jesus...That is my prayer for you today.

So I sign papers for my apartment next Friday. WHOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!