Help support the end of domestic violence...

...thats how heavy my heart is...
"I have been sexually rejected by not one, but two guys who later went to clown college. I get super nervous whenever I hear a vacuum cleaner because when I was a kid my mom used to turn on the vacuum to drown out the sound of her and my dad fighting, which is why I rarely vacuum my apartment, like never. I have had three donuts so far today. Once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet and I didn't leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp. A couple months ago, I went on a date with my cousin. Wow... I am a mess. There is an 80% chance in the next election that I will tell all my friends that I'm voting for Barack Obama but I will secretly vote for John McCain. Here's one, when I was a kid I used to put on my fanciest nightgown and then I would mix orange soda and cream soda in a champagne glass and sit in the dark and watch The Love Boat. Consequently, I have some weird sexual fantasy stuff about Gopher from The Love Boat. And I lied, I have had five donuts today.''
- Liz Lemon

Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost.
Doesn't mean I'll stop.
Just because I'm hurting...
I just got lost.

And every door I ever tried was locked.
I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...



You might be a big fish, in a little pond.
Doesn't mean you've won.
Cause along may come, a bigger one.

And you'll be lost.
Every river that you try to cross.
Every gun you ever held went off.
And I'm just waiting till the firing stops.
I'm just waiting till the shine wears off.

So i've been thinking over the past little while what i've always wanted in life. I've come up with a in-not-so-particular-order, never ending list that has materialized what i've always been thinking and what i've always expected of myself. There are things on this list that i've been craving since I was 13 and there are things that i've found with my continuing growth. I hope that I will be able to scratch off every single task on this list, and I hope that i'll do it with a story to tell and a smile. With all the negative i've experienced i've never lost site of what i've always wanted. This is a work in progress; this list and checking off of each of these things. So here's to hoping and wishing and dreaming about tomorrow.



[X]Audition for So You Think You Can Dance
Audition for So You Think You Can Dance AGAIN
Travel to New York City and live there
Get married
Get a tattoo
Travel to Alaska
[X]Take a cruise
Take a cross-country road trip
Participate in a reality show
Gamble in Las Vegas
Kiss, on the mouth, a celebrity
[X]Meet Bo Bice
See a broadway show/play
Run a mile, without stopping
Ride a motorcycle
Buy a designer handbag
Eat a truffle
Buy a house
Travel to New Orleans
Play in the snow
Meet President Obama
Be my own boss
Go on a blind date
Travel to Paris
Lay in bed for 24 hours
Meet Mia Michaels
Travel to England
Fall in love
Get out of a speeding ticket
Own a pet
Travel to Spain
Learn to fluently speak spanish
Learn to surf in Australia
Lead a healthy lifestyle
Learn to do the splits
Eat sushi in Japan
Travel to Buenos Aries, Mexico
French kiss a frenchman
Sip tea in China
Sip wine in Napa Valley, CA
[X]Meet Lukas Rossi
Eat a muffaleta sandwich
Learn to love my body
Write and record a song
Travel to Graceland mansion
Learn to do a backflip
Visit Niagra Falls
Eat a hot dog at a Red Socks game in Boston
Sky dive
View the Titanic artifacts museum
Ride a horse
Be a stripper- for just one night
Travel to Canada
Wear a two piece swimsuit on a crowded beach
Be a movie extra
Be and have a valentine
Dye my hair pink
Punch someone in the face
Shave my head bald
Kiss the blarney stone in Ireland
Ride a zip line
Learn to swim the breast stroke
Kiss under mistle toe
Braid my hair into corn-rows
Go to a taping of the Tonight Show
Ride in a helicopter
Date 2 guys at once
Go on a spring break vacation
Have a child
Go to the original Coyote Ugly and dance on the bar
Plant a tree
Ride a pontoon boat
Learn to ball room dance
Meet Adam Lambert
Get a bikini wax
Visit Mt.Rushmore
Rock climb
Graduate college
Save a life
Learn to play guitar
[X]Dance in a nightclub
Get a spray tan
Have a full, white smile
Join and fight for an important cause
Buy and trade stock on the American Stock Exchange
Be hypnotized
Swim with dolphins
Ride an ATV in the dunes
Live in Oregon
Live my life to the fullest
Go to a Spice Girls concert
Scuba dive
Move out on my own
Take a train ride
Get into a shark cage
Get a full body massage
Kiss in the rain
Get a psychic/tarot card reading
Snorkel in the coral reef
Ride in a hot air balloon
Take a lie detector test
Make love with the lights on
Wear fake eyelashes
Go through the corn maze
Got on a scavenger hunt
Learn a magic trick
Make it on my own
Live in Europe
Send in a post secret
Meet Robert Pattinson

Take my hand. Take my whole life too.

So dark the con of man

it's been so long.
i've lost my taste.
i'll play the part.
i'll open this mouth wide
and eat your heart

Stephanie

[<3] I have the tendency to not talk for days. But I can also talk for days.

[<3] I have twin brothers, they're a twin pain in the ass.

[<3] Im very self conscious.

[<3] I touch my face a lot, its a bad habit that im trying to break.

[<3] I used to cut all the hair off of my barbie dolls.

[<3] My dad used to be my moral support, now he isnt.

[<3] I love water.

[<3] I used to be afraid of getting a job, now I can see why.

[<3] I'll admit it - I judge people right off the bat.

[<3] I hate rap music.

[<3] I can play the clarinet (kinda).

[<3] I have self diagnosed depression, but it gets heavy.

[<3] I bite my lips compulsively.

[<3] I have OCD when it comes to spelling and capitalizing words. Punctuation too.

[<3] I just want to be a dancer.

[<3] My mom is my best friend.

[<3] I've never had a boyfriend, people think im a lesbian. Sad story.

[<3] I've calmed down my fear of bugs- a tad bit.

[<3]I stumble over my words.

[<3] I'm both a lover and a fighter.

[<3] I have OCD. I wash my hands at least 50 times everyday.

[<3] The first thing I notice about people is how their eyes judge me.

[<3] I dont really like people all that much.

[<3]My entire family is clinically insane.

[<3] I cant tell people how I really feel about them, yet I expect the truth.

[<3] I'm a hypocrite.

[<3] I like doing math, when its easy of course. But dance is my passion.

[<3] My very first car a 1995 Dodge Neon was sold on Valentimes day, 2006.

[<3] TV is my babysitter. I learned how to roll my tongue from PBS.

[<3] I am an extremely picky about how everything has to be clean and no one can mess it up.

[<3] I own a pair of UGG boots.

[<3] I love to dance. I strive to get better everyday.

[<3] I really have no life. Work, home...thats pretty much it.

[<3] I tend to act "alright" when on the inside I doubt and hate everything I say and do.

[<3] I wish it was winter ALL YEAR ROUND

[<3] I hate my body. Again, sad story.

[<3] That cliche "its a love/hate relationship"- thats basically what Life and I have going on.

[<3] I take failure SUPER DE-DUPER hard, and I dwell on it for at least forever.

[<3] Im a very, very, very, extremely jealous person.

[<3] I hate my teeth.

[<3] I wish I had more friends. Who doesnt?

[<3] I bite my nails constantly.

[<3] I hold grudges for forever. If your on my shit list, your not leaving. True story.

[<3] I can shake my ass like a music video hoe.

[<3] My few obsessions consume my life.

[<3] I cant live without my iPod. I dont know how I did before.

[<3] Im tired of being single

If you are caught between a rock and a hard place, you are in a position where you have to choose between unpleasant alternatives. Your choice might cause you problems; you will not be able to satisfy everyone.

Category: Natural bitch with no regrets and hurricane force winds when moody.