slightly_peach

you dont know what you got till its gone.

this new melo stuff is confusing...i dont know if i like it.

me heart locked shut and i gave YOU the key

schools out...thank god. i went to the beach twice so far it was fun. i got really sunburned the second time.yikes.im starting to peel now.=( me and emily are now attatched at the hip...i think we were before but we havent been away from eachother since summer started and the thought of being away from her frightens me.other than that ive just been hanging out with friends.drama is starting again cuz god forbid i have none of it.im just waiting to find out what i did wrong...cuz i cant fix much when i dont know what i did.whatever i guess ill find out someday.as for now im off to bed. goodnight<333 do dreams come true or do i die alone?

i want a love i can see

school is almost out thank GOODNESS!3 more days.i havent really been up to much just hanging out with friends and stuff.poor james got hit in the face with a baseball.11 stitches total.6 on the bottom 5 on the top.i almost passed out when i saw it.today i have to wash my car cuz its SOOO dirty and then i get to put my tinkerbell sticker that emily bought me from walt disney world.and then i have no idea what im doing the rest of the day.but i just thought id update.byyyye=)

you promised me

this weekend so far:friday hung out with Nikki and james.James and I went to tower and fat burger.came home and watched a movie and took him home at 12.Saturday hung out with james, alexxi and johnny at the spectrum.then came back to my house for a little,then went to jessicas and we hung out with jessica,missy,and amitoj.then went to missys with her and amitoj and looked at pictures,then james and I came back to my house.his parents picked him up at like 12:30.today i slept all day and at 5 im going to see shrek with nikki and her dad.fun times.

STAND BACK!

time for me to stop crying.the person who i want most in life is talking to me again!!!ohhh gee im excited to the max!!!im happy for now...lets hope it lasts.also disneyland was fun.i dont have a headache today that excites me.i think im gonna take new pictures cuz...mine are getting old.BYYYYYYE!!=)

you know its not that easy when your all alone?

wow...it seems as tho everything is going wrong for everyone.Iv’e lost 2 best friends in the past week.been hurt which is something thats over so i wont go into that.I’m a very forgiving person,which isn’t always the best thing i suppose,Either way i am.But i still sit and wonder how i forgive people who hurt me So bad.HOw does a best friend pick a guy over me...especially the guy she knows im crazy for.How does my other best friend yell at me for being hurt by the whole thing and tell the world how horrible i am as if i dont feel worthless as it is.everything is just changing...its kind of scary.New friends especially people i never really hung out with before being there for me over my so called best friends. I miss what i had...i miss it more than anything and would do anything for it back.but hes moved on.thinking is going to one day make me go insane. I’ve decided im going to just be alone...until i have the chance to get what i want. I will wait and wait and wait. remember what it was like before...dream of it happening again.waiting until the day i get to be happy again,where i have nothing to worry about simply because i have him,the feeling of being needed and wanted,staring into his eyes,hearing him say how much he loves me,kissing him, hugging him,being able to call him mine.but who knows if ill get that chance again.she has no idea how lucky she is.she has no idea what loving him is. with that of my chest...tomorrow im going to prom again...this time with some random guy with no date,but thats ok it should be fun.then sunday im going to disneyland.as for know ill sit and tell myself "someday everything will be ok".
[//I need you to be with me, Dreams can only help me for so long. And I will wait my life. //]

WHY ME

why do i always have to get hurt. ALWAYS.and always because they like my best friend over me.what did i do to deserve this. AGAIN. it hurt the first time and it hurts just as bad the second. JAMES FUCKING HURT ME! JUST WHEN I THINK WOW I CAN MOVE ON. HE HURTS ME TOO.I trusted you. thanks alot...

cant get enough of you

no one signs my melo. it makes me sad.
brad being sad makes me sad.
american idol is not good tonight.very disapointing.
i layed in the sun today and got like no color.
so i guess ill just be ass white for prom.
me and nikki are getting our nails done tomorrow.
cant wait for prom.
he gives me butterflies!!ahh its amazing.

=)

today was hmmm interesting to say the least.
i’m happy with the outcome.
crying made my eyes burn tho.
and i was never so scared of losing someone in my life.
brad you make me smile.i adore you.=)
friday movies with brad and whoever else comes.excited.
saturday emily and nikki’s b-day parties.
sunday no idea.hopefully wash my car cuz its gross.
for now im off to bed.xoxo

i wanna be your everything

I adore brad. i saw him lastnight. i missed him. i better see him today. <3

I wish you were mine.

I’m back from colorado...it was fun i guess. I will not ever ski again.i love snow.I missed everyone tho. I got to see brad tonight...even tho i screwed that up.whats new...i can manage to screw anything that means anything to me up.im sorry brad,I didnt mean to ignore you.you know i adore you. thursday before we left for colorado we were at my moms bf’s and i went to take a shower and i just started crying...and i cried and cried and cried somemore.I dont really know what the reason was. I just feel so lonely. I miss having someone to call mine...i miss having someone want me back... i miss being in love. i guess maybe one day ill have it all again,but in the mean time ill just have to deal with being lonely.


I’m sorry brad, thanks for waiting for me to come over tho it means a lot,you don’t know how much i missed you.<3

wow talk about taking my breath away.

I’ll im going to say it tonight FUCKING ROCKED!!!these past 2 days have sucked until tonight.I love you emily!!!!!!!i swear i will attempt to get over my shyness damnit!i hate being shy!!=(




TONIGHT=AMAZING.HOT DAMN




I want to kiss you....i want to hug you...i want to touch you!!!lmfao nikki!!!oh do i ever;)

hold my hand

today sucks!!!someone please make it better!!!thanks for calling me at lunch brad!i felt special. but i think your mad at me again...yikes i hope not=(.lastnight i stayed at emilys it was fun but i didnt go to sleep till 2...well worth it tho.=)
i found a reason for me
to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you.<3

can i get a what what

I saw jamie lastnight!!shes so little and cute!!!emily,brian and bianca are here.brian and emily are downstairs doing who knows what and me and bianca are sitting here being bored...jamie we must hang out again.ill try to convince my mom to let me drive to downey soon and ill come see you!!i love you!!<333

I&rsquo;m lost with out you

what would you say if i asked you not to go
to forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
would you take my hand and never let me go
promise me you’ll never let me go
and the stars aren’t out tonight,
but neither are we to look up at them
why does hello feel like goodbye?
these memories can’t replace,
these wishes i wished and these dreams i chased
take this broken heart and make it right

i feel like i lost everything when you’re gone
left remembering what it’s like to have you here

<3
i love you and i always will

JUUUUST kiddding

Brad called me. They got in an accident thats why he didnt come over.thats a good enough reason for me.and he bought me a present i feel special!!!!=)but i have to wait till sunday to see him...that sucks my ass.



i want to go to prom!!!!!!!someone go with me pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssseee!!=(

cross my heart hope to die.

suddenly a wave of saddness has come over me.who knows why.all i know is i dont enjoy it but what the hell i dont have a choice.i wish i knew the reason i feel like this that might help me change it...but i dont.so ill just live with it.Im use to crying anyways.Random thought:today would have been mine and james’s year and a half anniversary... it was written in my agenda. on april 13 it will be 5 months since he broke up with me... its funny how things still arn’t easy.brad was gonna come over tonight...but i guess not cuz he hasnt called.sucks.=(

ill take a step away and see if you come back

hmmm...people are mean they hurt my heart.=(others are not so mean.I love emily shes home and now i can go to her house and it makes me smile.Im hungry...dinner always helps me...why dont i ever eat it.being lonely sucks....=(




when theres you, i feel whole.
and theres no better feeling in the world
but without you im alone,
and id rather be in love with you<3

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna kiss you every minute every hour ever day!!!!!!!!!

gangsta party

lastnight was very fun:

-forced to go to the mall...which ended up being very pointless.
- went to the mall again which wasnt pointless.the pet store makes me want to cry. but bunnies are soft.
-went to tower records
- walked around birch street.
- went to pets mart to see the kitties.
-went to biancas for a little.her mom brought me a scarf back from paris. its cute.
-went to carl’s jr
-back to my house.
-went and got bianca.
-fell asleep while watching three to tango.

tonight:
-nothing so far.
SOO fun!

so far away

It’s a beautiful day
Now I’ll be ok that you’re not away
Yesterday was a terrible day
But now that you’re here I’m ok
Cause you don’t know how much I, I need you
Please don’t go
You’re so wonderful
This I swear, this I know
You, oh you, every single thing you do
I’m so proud of you
What you do
When you do the things you do
They’re so you
So thanks for your help
You shine so bright
You are the star that’s in my sky<3

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yourloveistoxic/

owwwwwie

burning yourself hurts.just to let you know.I saw adam lastnight.need i say more?Today me and bianca went to emiloons and swam. My face is pink of course but the rest of me is still white as hell.I had fun today.swimming laps is good exercise.I’m random.I should go to bed. I want it to be tuesday so i can get my hair done.it will come soon enough.swimming tomorrow after school jayaya! goodnight<3

I want to go to the beach!!really bad!!!no one wants to go with me=(

here without you

Why such horrible days...they make me feel worthless.I need a wonderful day before I lose it.But as it looks right now...all I’ll see are horrible days for awhile...I want a kitty,I miss having something that always cares,something to hold,something that loves me.But my mom doesn’t want me to have one.I hope I can talk her into it.I want to see adam but things have been said and now he thinks I’m over him.Yea right.I adore him I wish he could see that.

I screamed your name into the sky
until I lost my voice...

don&rsquo;t push love away






I think today I

its all i need,to hear your voice everyday

Tonight I was so sad for no reason...I just layed in my bed crying. I guess my reason is because im lonely but still. I dont usually lay in bed crying.I would give ANYTHING to see adam.But he wasnt feeling well so i couldn’t.makes me more sad.I really should just go to sleep at least i would be being productive.
I heart the early november no matter what mood im in.Im gonna lay in my bed and listen to them.goodnight.


What would you do if I could have you?
Oh if I could
I’d let you feel everything I’m thinking
Wouldn’t that be nice?
One of these days...<3

all the stars in my sky are for you

i find:myself to be tired
i want: To see Adam SOOOO BAD
i have: chapstick
i wish: I had him
i hate:being alone
i miss:Adam
i feel: sad
i hear:my keyboard
i smell:like victorias secret perfume
i crave:Kissing him...soo lovely
i search:for lyrics
i wonder:if he feels the same
i regret: many things
i love: being loved
i ache: in my back
i care:about YOU
i always: sleep
i am not: hungry
i believe:I would like to go to sleep
i dance: allllll the time
i sing: in the shower or whenever theres music
i cry: when im sad
i do not:want to go to school on monday
i succeed: when i try
i fail:literature
i fight: when im grumpy
i write:to myself
i win: Clue.
i lose: hope
i never:want to be lonely...but i cant help it.
i confuse: myself
i listen: to music
i can usually be found: in my room
i am scared: of being alone for the rest of my life
i am happy:when im with him
i hope:tomorrow is a good day.
i expect:to pass literature or ill die.
i need: him
i should: go to sleep
i am: Kelly
I stole this from Adam=)

JAYAYA!!!

I GOT MY LICSENSE!!!!!!IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

do you regret all your loneliness

we just watched pirates of the caribbean.good stuff.We also ate I hop. And we were parked really close to the car next to us and there was a lady in it and me and emily were being very careful not to hit her car and she started pointing her finger at us and emily was like "BITCH" and kept walking and the lady was like "EXCUSE ME"it was funny.And Emilys whatever you call him took my phone and decided he was going to call someone and called adams house after i told him a million times not to.I was like IM GOING TO KILL YOU adam is gonna get mad at me. but then adam called later and said "tell that guy not to call my house or ill kick his ass" and stuff so its all good lucky for brian. I miss adam=( And i love the early november... i just cant get enough of them no matter what mood im in.anyways its almost 11 i should be going to sleep so i can wake my ass up in the morning.goodnight!!!!xoxo<333

I am finally seeing why i was the one worth leaving

This weekend...lets see friday i took a nap at biancas then came home and layed in me bed until i fell asleep at 10 then i woke up at 12 and went back to sleep at 12:30 and woke up at 10:30 the next morning.I think i needed all that sleep tho...way to waste a friday.I came to emilys lastnight and we just layed around didnt really do anything.I guess i was talking in my sleep which was entertaining to her. haha. And today I think we are gonna go to the movies later after she does her work...
Im so confused.someone help!!

OHHH i wanna dance with somebody!

Name: Kelly
-- Birthdate: September 7th
-- Birthplace: fullerton,CA
-- Current Location:Brea,CA
-- Eye Color: blue/green
-- Hair Color:red
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: virgo
-- Innie or Outtie: innie
-- Your hair:is red
-- Your fears: nbeing alone and being trapped
-- Your perfect pizza:umm pepperoni
-- One thing you’d like to achieve: passing my damn lit class with at least a C.damn those 60 point questions!
-- Your thoughts first waking up:Is it friday yet?
-- Your best physical feature: my eyes
-- Your bedtime: when im sleepy
-- Your greatest accomplishment:eh i dunno
-- Your most missed memory: my cat
-- Pepsi or coke: pepsi
-- McDonald’s or Burger King: mcdonalds
-- Single or group dates: single
-- Adidas or nike:doesnt matter
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: enither ice tea is discusting
-- Chocolate or vanilla: depends
-- Cappucino or coffee:cappucino
-- Cuss: that i do
-- Sing well: HAHAH NO
-- Want to go to college:some kind of college
-- Like high school: not usually
-- Want to get married: yes
-- Type with your fingers on the right keys: yes
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes
-- Get motion sickness:yes
-- Think you’re attractive: no
-- Get along with your parents: usually
-- Like thunderstorms: i do
-- Play an instrument: no
-- Drank alcohol: yes
-- Smoked: once its discusting!
-- Made Out: yes sooo much fun!
-- Go on a date: yes
-- Go to the mall: yes
-- Been on stage: yes
-- Been dumped: yes
-- Gone skating: yes
-- Made homemade cookies: yes
-- Gone skinny dipping:yes
-- Dyed your hair:yes i need to again
-- Stolen anything:probably
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: no
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
-- Been caught "doing something": "doing something" ?!?!probably
-- Been called a tease: no
-- Gotten beaten up: no
-- Shoplifted: no
-- Age you hope to be married: i dont know
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2 or 4 havnet really thought about names
-- How would you like to die: without pain
-- Where you want to go to college: i dont know
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: not telling people tell me to save it for the stupid people...
Opposite sex
-- Best eye color? doesnt matter
-- Best hair color? doesnt matter
-- Short or long hair? short
-- Best height: taller than me which isnt hard
-- Best weight:dont care
-- Best articles of clothing: i dont know?
-- Number of guys I have kissed:4
-- Number of guys you have made out with: 4
-- Number of drugs taken illegally:one
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: i could trust about 4 people
-- Number of CDs that I own:=oh hell way to many to count
-- Number of piercings: ears and belly button
-- Number of tattoos: none
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper:zero
-- Number of scars on my body:dont count them
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: can’t count one mager thing but many little things.

Yes I’m bored...

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