Seventeen lbs and counting...I'm excited for life.

If you just realized what I just realized then we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another
If you just realized what I just realized we'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now.

I realized the past melo entries have been all about my new vegan lifestyle...well I'll update you on my social life. I promise I have one.

I made the mistake of "hanging out" with a past ex flame as soon as jeff and I were over
I wanted companionship in the male form and I wanted to feel adored and liked after being dumped.
Oh yeah...he dumped me, I don't talk about anything on here anymore. Its all irrelevant, we weren't meant to be together and my ego was crushed more than anything, In the end it began to feel like a chore to spend time together so I'm more than fine trust me.

So in comes Robert...I'm aware I've always been the one that got away for him, the one he wanted his chance with and would never leave me be even after multiple pleads on my part.
Yes I took advantage of the situation but at the same time i enjoyed his company, I entertained the idea of giving it a shot, being with him.
From day one I made it clear I didn't plan on being very serious anytime soon and I also wasn't interested in being exclusive...if that isn't a red flag I'm not sure what is.
But in the end, he got too intense and too protective for my own comfort and I bailed.
During this whole episode of getting drunk in his apartment, sleeping in til 5 and hitting the bong his ex gf had it out for me
Showing up at his place, pounding on the door, calling the cops, sending nasty text messages
I don't think I've ever been so hated for being so innocent

I knew it had to come to an end and I wasn't ok with straying him along any further and ending it in needless heartache so I called it quits the night his ex sent text messages that were from Robert to my phone.
Whether they were sent from months ago like his story says or whether she fabricated them I will never know.
But its not worth it either way since I had no intention of having a serious relationship with this guy, I saw an open window and I jumped at the chance.

Until I saw this message on my facebook and it sent me thru the roof...
Before you start thinking "wtf, she didn't want to be with him" Keep in mind I was giving it an honest chance at one point and believed with the whole world everything he ever said about his ex being crazy, about how much she manipulated him and how he needed a sane girl around.
I lost it, here it is:

"Hey I know im crazy for this but I'm talking to Monica and we're trying to work things out. As much as she has fucked my life up, it's hard to find a good attractive woman who can put up with my shit. Only reason I'm saying this over fb is because I really can't get any texts from you on my phone cause she would go ape shit, as you know pretty well. I probably won't talk to you for a while after we get serious again... "

My response...

"I texted you in response to this. If you never get it because she takes your phone like a mom to a 5 year old, I could care less, if you do, then good.
I don't need a play by play of your life, we aren't dating.
Do whatever the fuck it is that makes you feel less lonely because we both know she isn't the one for you and if you had your choice you wouldn't be with her.
Do I think you're credibility is all lost? Yes.
Did I ever feel like I could trust you? No.
I'm not surprised in the least...history repeats itself time and time again
You two deserve each other, have a great life.
and please...do yourself and me a favor and take my number out of your phone, out of her phone and don't text me, don't call me, don't ever talk to me again.
Problem fucking solved for the last time, end of story
I don't want you in my life "

"I forgot one thing. Just so we can make things clear for the record since you were so convinced that I broke things off because of Monicas little text that night, I didn't.
I met someone that I actually wanted to be exclusive with and didn't want to lie with you anymore.
Feels good to be honest "

I was fucking livid and I was mean because the last part isnt even true. Now that I think about it I'm almost positive it isn't true about him and Monica getting back together either.
I can be severely spiteful when I feel wronged.
I cant say I didn't feel terrible with his response, I might post it later but Ive put a lot of information out there.

I hope I can still sleep at night

"The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men."

"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."

"Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is the doing something else."

... Leonardo Da Vinci

"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for.'"

...Tupac Shakur

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed. "

...Albert Einstein

Just so people know, Americans get twice as much protein daily than is required
and actually, as long as you aren't eating junk all day...almost everything has protein in it
Yes animals have the "complete" protein but only 20 percent of it is used by our body, and the b-12 vitamin is the ONE nutrient we don't get from plants, which we actually would still be getting had they not fucked up the soil it used to be in.
That's another story in itself

Id just like to say that I don't sit at the dinner table while you're eating your "complete animal protein" slab of cow and criticize you for what you're eating

I'll do mine and you do yours

and for the record, its been 7 fucking years since I stopped eating meat, don't you think the "where are you getting your protein" question is a little worn out by now?
Especially when the same people ask me over and over and I've answered you completely over and over

I'm so over it, go pick up a book and read about your so called nutrition because I did a long time ago.

Becoming OBSESSED with losing weight

Its healthy I promise.

Going on day 14 of this veganism. Its getting easier, Now I don't have to stress on every meal and fucking it all up.

Realistically in the past 2 weeks Ive probably lost about 6 lbs, I cant wait for 2 more weeks to pass by, and then two more, and then two more.....

I thought I was invincible and you were so head over heels for me that you would never think to break up with me
I was argumentive and unaccepting of your choices and opinions
I couldn't stop thinking about how much I missed and wanted Bobby back but knew I had made the choice to be with you
I felt like an ass and knew I couldn't turn around and end it so fast
I gave it another chance, day after day, fighting against the voice screaming inside me that I wasn't happy
Maybe if I just..... and everything will be ok, I can fall for him, because of course nothing is ever perfect, fairy tales aren't real

Until today when you dumped me on my ass, I didn't see that coming
I guess one of us had to do it

Even though I wanted it to be over more than anything
It still makes me sad

I'm trying the vegan thing once again.

Probably trial 5 for me and I'm going on five days without having consumed any animal products. Pretty good eh, last time I made it 10 days.

I have a good feeling about this time, and I'm also really excited because I know that If I can keep it up I'm finally going to be able to lose the weight I've obsessed over since I'm eating like a track star.

Wish me luck

Looks like there is a new Melo, nothing gets by me.
Also, I'm pretty excited to see a lot of my old friends have come back and started posting again.
I haven't had time to come in and check it though

I spent the new years with people that matter most, it was as fun as I expected if not more.
I have a boyfriend now, which is probably taking up my time as well as work, life, etc.
I'm saving up for his birthday in Vegas next month
I'm also going to Stagecoach in April (stagecoach = country music 2 day festival)
Everyone I have mentioned to that I'm going is shocked I like country
I've actually had a love for country since I was a little kid, another case of looks can be deceiving
No new years resolutions because I can never stick to them, when I'm ready for change I'm ready...I don't need a new date to do decide that.
Much love

This is Katie...signing out.