tears4ucrys4me

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It was in love I was created and in love is how I hope I die.



This video has to be one of the best one's I've seen in a really long time.. this is Paolo Nutini for all you people who don't know anything about awesome music... I'm gonna go see him tomorrow at The Wiltern.. it's still up in the air who I'm going to take.. but i'm sure it will work out...

Had a good labor day weekend, spent alot of time drinking beer & missing phones call's from Frank.. oh well shit happens. LOVE HIM.
Ummm besides that, chasing a shit load of boys on bikes late at night with Damris, who knew would be so much fun.. funny back story to that one hehe..

Um.. I kinda don't have a job right now, I was really looking forward to my seasonal work, but that shit went out the window real quick.. fuck! I really wanted to use that money as extra cash for my trip to the east coast whatever..

I'll tell ya how the Paolo Nutini show went down... Till then hope you enjoy the dancing Bunny.. Man that Bunny gots some moves.

6 years on melo & still going strong!



6 years & I'm still here... an I'm not just talking about melo.

"I love you".

Theres a DJ spining in the Skies Tonight



Amazing to see perform, I never dance so much in my life.
RIP DJ AM

I Will Not Touch You In the Dark If I Can't Love You In The Daylight

Its 11:00 on a Friday night, I'm home, stuck on you fuck!.. this sucks.. wasnt I two years done and gone... but just like that, I'm pulled back in. Didn't I tell myself I was stronger that I wouldnt fall back into it... yet I'm pretty sure I open my heart & my legs to the bullshit I said goodbye to so long ago. WHERE'S HASKELL when I need him???.. I'm pretty sure he was the one who said something about me being the one to break my own heart or something like that??? ... I dont know... man I just don't know.. I'm sleepy but I'm fighting this crazy odd feeling I have of feeling whole, like that big ol spot in my heart, that just happen to fit your name is once again filled... its funny but I'm starting to miss the dead zombie girl that would walk around, cause being happy shouldnt just be because you can make that happen for me when I just can't seem to do it myself... damn.

This is gonna end badly.


"Your Hanging Out With A Person, Who Is Everything You Hate In A Person"

So You Think You Can Dance, didn't work out, nor did my so call friend Damris.

It started off on a alright day, and left me with many questions to ask myself.

Hung out with Lili, an got ready at her house for the show taping, my baby cuz Jamie met us up there, an from there, we went to Damris house to pick her up. You would think for someone blasting up my phone asking where your at every other minute why your fucking late and shit, would be ready herself, when you get there. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a very patient person at all. Finding Damn chilling around her house in some basketball shorts wasnt making me very happy. blah... Fuck it lets just get there already, which we did end up leaving to Hollywood after Damris made a whole deal about needing to sit in the front seat cause shes tall and we have to make her comfy, there for kicking my best friend to the back seat! GRRRRRR...


It wasn't all bad, don't get me wrong she did manage to make me crack up a few times, but this girls actions are really taking its toll on not just me but the other people in my life, they don't understand how I can put up with her, it is true, I've never hung out with her before with other people other then my brithday, and that was drama free cause everyone just cared about me and having a good time, I guess when your to busy dancing you don't see how insane Damn can drive you. I do notice it, belive me, but I can tolerate it... thing is I shouldn't have to.

So my cuz Jamie & Lili made it very clear there not big fans of this girl, they felt she was rude and wasnt showing respect to us or any company we might have came across in strangers.. as we walked around The Grove in Hollywood. We didnt get into the show taping, because it was filled up. I dont know, it just seemed like today turned into me being put in the middle of up sum kinda war... which sucked ass by the way.

Having your best friend & cuz, the people in the whole world who know you better then anyone and maybe even yourself at times, tell you that "your haning out with a person, who is everything you hate in a person" (thats a quote from Lili herself), can be a real eye opener, Jamie was like, "if I did that type of stuff, you would be all over me like, WHAT THE FUCK JAMIE, yet your here letting her slide".. she was angry. HA! damn.

I don't know it just seemed like the day wasn't really eventful, but Damris sure as hell made it that way, its funny cause in someway I feel like I should thank her, cause she sure as heck gave us something to talk about over dinner at BJ's.. didn't even get the ice cream cake thing.. now that just takes the cake!.

SETTING:
Dramris Hates the band, Brand New... (I know like WTF!?!?!)

Driving listening to Mix CD, Brand New comes on, Damris skips the songs, without asking, plus shes already lsitening to her own ipod!..

Jenn: THIS IS MY CAR! my family & Best Friend were listeing to Brand New & so was I, plus your listening to your Ipod.

Damris: ......................................................................(nothing)

You had to be there, plus I don't remember word by word how it happen, but it was a for sure moment that I just put your ass in your place.. to bad it didnt last for long.

THE WILL IS STRONG IN THIS ONE.



I dont belive in the selling of your glorys before you leave this life, theres so much more to see, I dont belive this is how the world should be

New songs in playlist, let me know what you think.

So today was the 1st day of school, it really was, it just wasnt for me... but I dont have the heart to tell my Dad or just not brave, so I'm acting like I'm going to school, as I'm looking for a Job... blah, I can't believe I have to do this all summer.. thats just fucking great... I really start school in the Fall.

I do have that internship with that band lined up still, Mary called me up today and we talked a little bit about my music background, I was gonna go down today, but it didnt work out they were stuck in the studio and I guess doing pressing for there new cd so now were talking about meeting up on Thursday and there gonna size me up, and see if I'll fit in.. (there words not mine), I'm so freaking out, cause well I, never fit in EVER! I just did what I did cause I wanted to belong in some little way in the music world, so now I'm really lost cause this isn't like back in the day, were it was okay to be learning, now its you better know what the fuck your doing or you get dropped quick, I'm not so out of it, that I don't know this. I'm just not ready to give up on this yet. I've sold out to many times to count, I don't wanna become everyone I know, who stopped dreaming & grew up. When its all about the paycheck. Its never had to be that way for me, yet I wasted all the extra time I had, on ruining my life, an that paycheck's looking pretty good & I hate that.

Today, well later on today since its 1:16 a.m in the morning, this afternoon, Lili, Damris and maybe my baby Cuz Jamie, are gonna be going to CBS studios for a live taping of "So YoU tHiNk YoU CaN DaNcE".. I'm sorry I can't help myself I love it! its so good, and getting passes to go to that show is sooooo hard, but I got it, I did manage to get tickets for last year as well, but I didnt check my email intill a week later grrrr.. but I got it this time around, and this is how I know I'm loved cause everyones thats going, couldt give a shit about this show but there going for me so... YAY!

Details later, omg! man.. I really can't take this whole Spancer, Hedi thing anymore. There on Jimmy Fallon on my tv as I'm typing this, before I didn't really think bad or good about them, it was just funny an entertaining, now I just think there out of there fucking minds, but they do know how to sell a product! (dry shampoo anyone?).




My Life Soundtrack: Amy MacDonald, Footballer's Wife.

Took This From My Melo Friend Painstaind

I Was Simply Defending My Own Heart With My Weapon Of Bitchiness

There is something really wrong with me, if I'm waking up at 5:00 in the morning wondering where my life went wrong and dreaming about a picture that rest on my best friend Lili's bed head... its a picture of us maybe about 15 years old. Were standing outside The Allen Theatre and I'm wearing a red scarf with emo hair, & a real smile... everything was perfect and I was happy... I dreamt about that picture and I woke up sad.

Fuck my life.... why didn't I dream smaller dreams, why is it I hold on to something so much, that when you really do the math I haven't done in almost 3 years, where is the realistic Jenn I know I'm capable of being.

What about the other dream the night before where I'm slowly trying not to cut myself as I pull out the glass from my mouth that I had just put in myself... what does that mean?

Brett Dennen "An't Gonna Lose You" will break your heart!... I really should take it off repeat.


If you were 18 & I was 23 I wouldn't care if you were PAOLO NUTINI. <3








Cracking my back on a chair, can not be good for my back'

So I'm watching that Jennifer Lopez movie called Enough, its not the greatest thing in the world, but the telling of a woman being abuse happens far to offten, so yeah I started thinking about pass relationship's were hands were raised and just alot of bullshit if it was on my part or on there's, and I think about my own parent's and the example they set for me growing up. Then I think how I use to tell myself everything I learned about love, I learned from them, in a sense I still hold that very high up there. Then I remember that seeing your father chase your mom around the yard with a shovel, isn't the best thing in the world to witness.

Yesterday was Lili's mom's b-day, I went to Victoria's Secret and got her a few things, nothing she would really enjoy, but fuck it whatever, whats done is done... hung out with Lili the whole day doing stuff for the party, like picking up last minute gifts, and food etc... it was a good little B-day party, it suit Lili's mom well. OMG all I hear and its so nagging is this little girl yelling Mommy over and over again, I get that someones trying to kill you, but I'm trying to type damnit!.. sorry got off topic, anyways nothings really new in my life besides I'm in major debt and I did a big ass favor for a friend on the most part someone who I shouldnt be doing stuff for in the 1st place.. I really don't know why I said yes.. so she had a ticket, that was due yesterday that was $381 for flicking her cig out her window on the freeway, I remember when she 1st got this ticket, which was a really long time ago.. so she waits till the last minute, trys and think shes gonna reason with the clark at city hall, they inform her that if she doesn't pay up right then & there, there gonna dubble her amount, in steps in Jenn for the resue.

I jump into Vickys car with her & her bro, shes driving like a mad woman trying to beat the clock which means she only has 20 mins to get me over there to use my card to pay off the remaining balance of what she owe's... which by the way, I don't really have the money to begin to start being her personal loan shark, so I pay off $181 for her, and make sure she knows what a good person I am, and that her ass better pay be back what she took plus intrest, which the intrest wasn't my idea.. but she put it out there, so fuck it. I could use the money to pay back some of my over doing... so come the 20th (when she said she was gonna pay me back) of this month if you hear that I killed someone, let it be known who it was!

Waiting For My Life To Start



So I saw this band on Jimmy Fallon, like I don't know, maybe a month ago.. I loved there performance so much I had to go and find it and post it. Hope you enjoy... I love bands who play beyond the stage they are given.. such a turn on <3






Best Part there local.

Belief Makes things real, makes things feel, feel alright, Belief makes things true, things like you, you & I

So one major sign to look for is when, your over here drinking by yourself.. then again the bottle of Rum I've had since Nov. and I just got done with it right now. So I guess in a way that makes up for it?

I can't help myself, I'm kinda stuck on "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here".. HELP ME!!!... so I like it, its funny and all the drama with Hedi & Spancer.. are they on the show or not damnit make up your ass already.
the only bad part about it, it cut into my fave summer show "So You Think You Can Dance".. I really do need Tivo... how much does that cost?

So I talked to a few boys today that I've had relationships of some sort, found out one of them is a slut! his words not mine, he has two Children a boy and a girl.. I didnt even know he had one kid let alone two. It took me a good moment to remember who he was, since he aimed me and it was kinda whatever, and plus I dont remember ever person on my buddy list.. so when he said it was Rob.. I went blank.. but then sometime later I aim him back and was like "Robert who got fired because of me", him "yes, good times".... turns out it was Robert who I guess I dated for a few months back when I was 18 & we month had seasonal jobs at the Queen Mary he got fired because well he hooked up with me hahahaha.... I'm pretty sure I have a old entry on here somewhere about the whole thing.. well yeah that was him, and the other guy who I talked to was Paul another one of my conquest.. who is back in town cause some drama went down with his family in AZ..

I HATE when people start convo's with "can I ask you a question", you know it an't gonna be good.. but yet your stupid ass always says yes
"sure"
"do you ever miss hanging out with me?"
"Lets not get into this right now"

.... really lets not get into this, cause if I did, I'm pretty sure I would have said HELL NO!!!!... I would say, I don't have it in me to be mean, but that would be a damn lie. So I rather just Ignore the whole situation.


Hell I've been Ignoring my life for far to long.. its about time to make a change.

"There's nothing stopping me from going out with all your best friends"

Today a few things crossed my mind.. like I havent heard from Vicky since my b-day when she didnt even try to come to my little get together, I'm guessing the whole ditching her to take Dmaris with me to the Eminem/Jimmy Kimmal event might have played a factor in it, I would feel bad.. but I can't, mainly because Damris being there with me, I had a awesome time, and I really don't think the events that took place would have happen if Vicky was there.. so yeah I don't feel bad... & I WANT MY DAMN WEEDS DVD'S BACK!!!!!!!!!

Another thing that was so random that poped in my head was Jacob, it hit me that I never think about him... OMG! an it doesnt bother me one bit, I hate having a punching bag, thats the worst type of guy I could ever have in my life, I think I can speak up for myself and put my foot down.. but I think on the most part I really do just let people walk all over me, even my best friend at times, but theres just something about a person... FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just had another thing cross my mind!, OMG! hes a person who lets people take avantage of him, when he has the power to be like, fuck you! and just doesn't do it... hmmmm maybe I don't like him cause I see some stuff that reminds me of me maybe????

I hope thats not the case, but then again there isnt much of a case anymore cause well I have no idea, whats going on with his life at this moment. Last time I talked to him he was moving to Chino to live out there for a bit... and well I can't even tell you how long ago that was.. because I didnt care to keep track of that memory, because I just didn't care... I hope one day I find something I really do care about again... I'm really sick of being numb, I just wanna feel. I just wanna be happy.. and not live in my make believe world.

Being Grown up isn't half as fun as growing up... I'm pretty sure I've used this title before





MTV Movie Awards was awesome... the Eminem bit was fucked up!... awww poor guy... Twilight won like every award HA!... plus it came with this awesome sneak peek which is why I watched the show to begin with... and what the hell was up with Magan Fox's hair?.. like really your fucking hot you dont need to do that. Kristen Stwert dropping the award was halla cute... and Rob Pattionson as much as I love him, didnt need to do the pop joke.


I'll be updating a real life changing entry soon.. since I know your all dying for one.

Oh Where Did I Go Wrong???


Fortune Cookie Generator




Some dreams are just to hard to let go of...

The Line Between Selling Out And Selling Yourself Has Never Been Thinner.

So yesterday was my cuz friend/my friend (I guess).. Baby shower, shes having a little boy.. anyways I took Lili with me, and it was cute, I didnt mind it, but it was kinda a big deal to Lili since it was her 1st "WHITE BABY SHOWER".. hahaha.. yeah her words not mind, Lili was mostly busy telling me how diffrent the two are from each other.. blah blah blah.. it was good for what it was, there was nothing but little kids there, in other words everyone just looked hella young even if the chick whos knocked up is only 21, I dont know the whole room just didnt look like a group of people who should be having any kids at this point in there lifes, but what can you do, you know??... so besides that my Cuz Jamie & Aunt did a wonderful thing having Eicka's baby shower at there house, I didnt feel out of place one bit being there, I guess it had everything to do with the fact it was at my familys house....

So we hung out for a few hours did the whole baby shower thing, played games, open gifts, took pictures and I got to meet in person the guy who my cuz Jamie is low key seeing, not a bad guy at all, the 1st words he ever said to me was "I've heard alot about you".... I hope that means he knows I'm gonna judge the shit out of him since hes dating my cuz. Afterwards me and Lili went to her mans house or whatever the fuck he is to her, there in love yet there not together and so forth... its alot of blah... but they do love each other, well I know she loves him, and I witness the hand holding 1st hand when there were driving... EWWWW... cute but EWWW cause I'm bitter, and things give me flashbacks of happier times I've had. Well we did some drinking ate some pizza, and did some talking at one point some drama happen between Lili & HIM.. since she so into not calling him by his name on melo I guess I'll carry on this habbit.. anyways Him and Her went off and did there own thing, whatever that may have been. ;/

I was left with Leo, and well me and Leo talked for hours, Leo is, I guess HIM's brother in Law and well I learned alot about him and how unhappy he is with his life, learned alot about his mother & siblings and his real feelings about his wife & daughter, and having him tell me hes talked more with me then he has with his wife in the past year & a half, and how fucked up that was for him to notice that by just talking with me, which made me have the need to tell him "the only reason this is, is because I'm new"... that happens to alot of people who havent had anyone around other then the people they see and talk to on a normal bases, and I really feel he just felt like he could talk all he wanted, cause really who was I really to him?.. theres a chance I'll never see him again, and he just had a chance to get shit off his chest, so thats the way I'm gonna look at it, cause if I look at it any other way shits gonna hit the fan.



Please Tell me why I'm listening to Demi Lovato?.. and please tell me why I'm not hating it?

"Sometimes you just gotta be happy with your life, only if its for that one moment your truly happy"



BEST 22nd BIRTHDAY EVER <3

Hey Little Girl With You're Tangled Hair

Started with a midnight text from Lili saying Happy Brithday... so she wins 1st place... and thats how I started my brithday..
so I got up pretty early got a Happy Brithday from my Dad, went to the market with him cause he wanted to buy food.. (chicken).. came back took a shower and headed out to do some last minute things for my b-day like went and got my nails done real cute by the way hehe... stopped by Lilis and learned I couldnt wear my brithday outfit cuz she was gonna be wearing a outfit that just so happens to kinda look like mine... and I'm Jenn, and I don't do that... so I had to go and get me a brand new outfit, which I was very happy with. Went back to Lilis after I went down to the salon and got my Hair done for that night.. I can't wait to post the pics, so yeah my baby cuz Jamie came down to Lili's she couldnt come out the the 80's club we were going to later that day cause well she an't 21, hence baby cuz, shes only 19... well she gave me a card that said some really nice things about are relationship which being me I had to ask some follow up questions.. which I then shut the hell up cause I saw that I was ruinning the moment.. so anways she also gave me some DVD's.

She then got it in her head that she wanted to go out for ice cream so we walk out of Lilis living room to tell her this, and she starts saying damnit I killed it.. this point I'm lost on what I've just messed up when I look down and notice shes lighting a single candle on the stove.. where she then walks out to light the rest of the candles on the brithday cake she has set up for me outside... AWWWWWW then Lili her mom and aunt and my cuz start singing Happy b-day and Lili over here video taping me and everythings going on so fast I end up jumping the gun and blowing out the candles at the start of the song and not at the end, and I didnt even notice I did that intill there like yelling at me "Jenn you do it at the end not before we even get a chance to start"... oops..

So we hang out about a hour longer at Lilis house and shes playing videos of are time spent at Coachella for Jamie, and theres even a moment were Lilis taping my cuz doing her own Russel Brand moment to me... OMG!!!!! you know that song he sings in Forgetting Sarah Marshell,.. "inside of you"... LIKE OMG!!! you crazy little girl, it just didnt look right... or feel right!... and shame on you Lili for letting this go on.. and filming the proff of this crazy act haha.. good times.. So Jamie comes back to my place and watchs me get ready for the night and just spending every moment she can with me since she can't stay for the club.. and shes taking pics of me and getting awww "your so cute" on me... which wasnt that bad I guess haha..

So Cheston comes and picks me up, which is awesome cause its my brithday and my friends want me to be able and enjoy myself rather then worry about drinking and driving bullshit... so Cheston like I said is nice to drive not only me but Lili & Fab as well, so we do a beer run and they buy a few bottles so were then getting wasted in the parking lot of the club to make sure we even have a better time inside, so we get in at 1st I'm a little upset when I saw what table they gave me, later on this would be a great table since it was right by the dance floor.. less of a run to the floor when you here a song you wanna dance your ass off to hehe... I've never Dance so much in my life... well I dont think I've ever really dance before last night.

In the end it was Me, Lili, Cheston, Fab, Damris, her guy cuz, Francis, Hugo, I had my number right on how many people would be there, and I enjoyed every moment of last night, it was one of my top[ brithdays ever, that place was rocking and I'm pretty sure that me and my friends have a new hang out spot... can't wait to go back for more... I forgot to mention I got ask to Dance by some guy it was really cute... cause I did it!!!!... hahaha I took him up on his offer and I just went for it, I dont even remember having a moment thinking how am I going to get out of this, dancing the night away with friends is something I have to do more offten my best friend Lili and Fab were thinking they werent gonna have a good time cause there like "dance club", but in the end guess which two people were dancing the whole night more then me and I'm the b-day girl, I swear they dance almost every song.

Man when I woke up this morning I had a hangover, I've had worst so that I wasnt really tripping on, but because of all the dancing my body was so sore... I know I had to have lost weight you can't be moving around that much... and what a fun way to do it too lol. My hair is still cute & curly too...

haha... I can't wait to see all the pics Lili took last night.

BEST BRITHDAY EVER... its up there trust!






Cheston "I'm the most two face person you'll ever meet"


Me "You two face with me"


Cheston "I'll tell you if I like you or not".. "the thing about you Jenn"


Me ::waiting for him to tell me something mean but the truth::


Cheston "is that I dont think of you as my best friend, but as my childhood friend" "we use to spend alot of time together & now we dont hang out like we use to".........................................


There was alot more and the only reason I added this part from yesterday was because when he was telling me this as were driving I started out thinking he was gonna say something else, I dont know what.. Its not what he said its how he said it... like he misses me, he misses our friendship and the way it use to be, I dont know you just had to be there I guess, I put this in my melo cause I wanted to remember that moment.

"I Have No Comment On That Matter"

OMG and I was thinking the 2nd season of Greys was as good as it got... whoa that whole thing with George being the John Doe (007)... great television.. I'm like so blown away right now... this show use to be so awesome then they got rid of Dr Burke.. and it gotta little crazy with the whole having sex with a ghost.. (dont ask), like its been a really long time when a ending got me to sit up rather then just be laying down on my Bed chanel surfing, great ending!!!... even the one, what was it like two weeks ago or so, the season final of Private Practice, was amazing and, I'm not really a big fan of that show... (sorry but I'm not the one making you read this am I?)


Long day my friend, really long day.. so I wake up hella early cause it takes me forever to do my hair and I wasn't gonna go to The Ellen Degeneres Show looking like a hot mess.. I even went and picked up my dry cleaning which cost $35... thats not bad somestimes its way way way more... tsk tsk tsk.. so yeah I went and picked up Damn about 11:00 heading all the way to far ass Burbank, got to see sexy as hell Ewan McGregor.. (the guy from Trainspotting), Hellen the chick who won Biggest Loser (I wanted Mike to win), and best of all PINK!!!... when she came out I liked jumped out of my seat it was so funny... Like I didnt even know I was such a big fan lol... I dont really think I'm pinked out, but I own most of her CD's and growing up you can't help if you hear a song of hers and sing along.. its been like that since middle school God the 7th grade was so long ago... and I saw her only once before, when I was 15 at Wango Tango, you know when I would got to them Pop concerts hahaha... seems like a life time ago.. whens its all about Coachelle now hehe... uh yeah and Ellen Degeneres was awesome as well, just as sweet as can be.

Afterwards me and Damn hit up Downtown Burbank.. the land where they dont let you smoke... no really in that city you can't smoke in public, hahaha I didn't really care but Damn was tripping cause every other minute she wanted a Cig, I think its because when someone tell hers she can't do something it just makes her want to do it more.. thats what kinda girl she is... sometimes it gets to me, but whatever, when it comes to her I know shes not using me, not like my other friends... well we went to the resturant that me and Cheston went to last time, we were at downtown Burbank, it was tasty like last time so I was happy, I went once again.. then after we stuffed are faces we went to the movies and saw the new Star Terk movie... which was really really good... I was like cheering every time they would bring out one of the Characters.. like I remember watching this show growing up, but then I got older and to cool for it... but here I am watching it and I'm keeping up... and Damn's looking at me like what the hell are they talking about???, it was kinda funny... like I'm not a super nerd or anything but the movie, was made so if you didnt know the show you could enjoy it and I very much did for how they made it out to be, there were some really great comic moments and Spoke OMG he has a lover, about damn time.


So today was a good day... I guess I liked my lyfe today.. tomorrow we will see.

Tomorrow, Eminem on Jimmy Kimmal, his 1st apperance on a tv show performing live in 5 years booyah!.. that shits sold out no more passes but I gots the hook up haha.. details of this event tomorrow.. then its brithday time for me.

..."if we stick together, we can stop this shit" ;)

Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson was awesome, I ended up taking my best friends Lili & Cheston.. they were bitching at 1st cause there not open minded people.. and they didnt know what they were getting into... people need to trust me already and believe that if I'm going out of my way to do something, I want it to pay off... and guess what it did!.. Lili was cracking up on all the jokes the warm up guy was telling.. mainly because hes a dirty boy, man I really wanted him to put her on the mic to sing, it would have been great and she would have gotten a t-shrit, it dont get better then that hehe... so I'm happy it was a good taping Lili & Cheston got to sit and watch celeb interviews where they had no idea who they were... me since I know about everyone and there mama.. I was the only one keeping up with everything that was going on... told you I love late night talk shows hehe..

Guest:
Tim Meadows.. SNL FAME, did a comedy skit <3
Paulina Porizkova (TOLD YOU HER INTERVIEW WAS GONNA BE EVERYWHERE.. I know good gossip when I hear it!)
Guy Perice
ALL AMERICAN REJECTS

After, we walked in the Grove for like a sec.. next time I hope we can spend more time there... we got in my car and drove back to the LBC to the town center where, I got it in my head that I wanted to go to Island and eat so we go and just like Lili said once the food came there was no talking we were grubing like there was no tomorrow... you try being at CBS Studios all day and havent ate... you'll find yourself acting the same way so yeah... after Lili and me were a little buz after we had margeritas and she was down to hit up a real bar called the Hideaway that I go to... but Cheston killed it was his "NO"... lame ass, but I guess it was a good thing cause right after my dad called me and was like "where the hell are you I've been waiting for you all day, you have my food"... shit!!! I forgot that we went to the store and picked up some stuff for the house... it was all in my trunk and I never took it out... "I forgot".. "you forgot"... yeah my dad wasn't happy with me..

So I had to hurry and drop off Lili to her Lovers.. where I was already driving to, to drop her off, then since Cheston lives by me again, that wasnt a big deal... anyways all and all it was a pretty cool day I was happy about it.. but then again thats only one taping out of the way.. I have a total of 3 this week, there has to be a record for that somewhere.. haha.. next up Ellen Degeneres tomorrow @ Warner Brothers Studios, who wants to go I have a few extra passes <3

Today I'm happy with my life, tomorrow is another day.

YOUR ALL INVITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Brithday's coming up on May 16th.. the big 22!!! so heres a small little bitty wish list I've made up!


1. True Blood 1st season (out 5/19)
2. Anything by Johnny Cupcakes clothing (I'll be happy with a keychain)... <3
3. a real copy of Chester French CD.. (only added to make this list longer)
4. Robert Francis, Tickets to his Roxy show in Hollywood.
5. The Virgin's Concert Tickets to the El Rey!
6. a really pretty Dream Catcher <3


I dont think I'm asking for alot... I'm pretty sure I'll end up getting everything on that list myself... cause well, no one ever gives me anything that I want for my b-day.... I'm not looking forward to this Brithday at all... I still have no idea what I'm doing and my friends are already inviting there own guest's, to a event that might not even take place... cause I'm a unhappy bitch!

FUCK IT, I'm OvEr It!

I'm Not Big On this Day..

Happy Mothers Day



I miss you Mom



xfaCeLikeMurD3Rx: hey..by the way...cause i know today was hard...i wish your mom a happy mothers day wherever she resides in heaven...love you jenny gem...

Everything'll Be Alright.. cause Joshua Radin says so.

Over here waiting on Lili to finish blow drying her hair... I'm still here at my house and the plan was to get up early get something to eat and do a little shopping but Lili is still at her house, and me, still at mine... well on to some good news the new Rob Pattinson movie comes out today Little Ashes he plays a gay artist... I WANNA SEE ::Lili Just called me:: I think were not going anymore, I'm not sure but I think she hung up on me... cause shes pissed.. WHATEVER!!!!!! if you did, I've never done that to her... she was saying something about I told her "I dont wake up till noon" so she was thinking we were leaving later, but I've been up since 7:00 this morning & I went to bed at 4 this morning so yeah I'm grupmy (she says its not her fault) I didnt say it was!... it happens... I hate when shit dont get planned out right.. dont get me wrong its still early we got's time but when you put two girls with two egos and way to pround to ever amitte there sorry... you get Lili & Jen.


You know whats really funny I just recalled what I was up late doing, I was making her a mix CD that I was gonna give her with the DVD I got her.. not counting the concert tickets.......................this really is a great start to a great day.


Lili just called back.. shes ready.

Thinking about tomorrow wont change how I feel today

Did some changes on my playlist and added some new music.. hope you like it since most of you guys were real big fans of the old playlist... I think I'm gonna start changing it every other week or so, and maybe stick to theme's last time it was all solo artist this time around I added a few bands but they only really consist of 2 or three members themselves haha...

Paulit3187: hey jen im movng
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: why & where
Paulit3187: time to grow up and arizona
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: whats over there
Paulit3187: my aunt lives out there
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: i see.. well good luck on the whole growing up thing
Paulit3187: thanks
Paulit3187: hey and im really sorry abut every thing
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: me too
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: when you leaving?
Paulit3187: saturday
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: i see
Paulit3187: yeah so hey im gunna miss you cuz i wont have my favorite color in arizona
Paulit3187 signed off at 1:56:38 PM.

That would be Paul.. I guess I dated him.. I don't know I met him at Shipwreck one weeked and was done with him before the start of the next weeked, when I started dating Jesse.. well long story short he went around talking about "our time together" to guess who Jesse!!!! even better this took place on my best friend Lili's 21 b-day @ a bar where I got people to show up for her HA! right well I found this out and add being mad/drunk some yelling and pushing outside in front of the bar.. me & Paul were done right there and then.. I could tell you what happen between me & Jesse but thats a whole other story in its self.. but yeah thats what happens when boys don't like seeing you out with other guys.. and when your yelling at them saying "WHY??????"... "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"..."YOU WANNA KNOW WHY, YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?????" "CUZ I THINK I COULD LOVE YOU".


::Flashback::
"whats your favorite color?"
"Jenn, Jenn's my favorite color"

I'm the only light that you see, you need someone.

EHHHH... okay I still have no idea what I'm doing for my b-day, I was over here thinking I was gonna do Di Piazza's.. and everyones all yay! what band is playing???, and I feel like, I have to explain myself.. its not one of my shows, this isn't a old school Jen event, I didn't book the show or the bands that are playing I just wanted a all ages place to hang with my friends, but fuck it! I'm already getting people texting me "So I heard from a little birdy ur bday shin-dig is changed its not at di piazzas anymore"....(Damris) GRRRRRR I havent even said anything to anyone yet, and "oh why you change it?".. blah! "its up in the air I haven't changed anything yet", to be honest the only real person I care about being able go thats underage is my cuz Jamie who's only just 19... so I don't know, plus I want it to be local, there's the "its to far", "its 21 & over".. its like HOW HARD IS IT TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO ON A SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!! my brithday is on a saturday and I can't come up with a damn thing to please everyone.. thing is, it's my b-day and it should be to please myself, but thats just not the way I work... god I'm so unhappy with my life.

I'm gonna be another year older and another year a nobody!

Its Cold...No, Its a Bitch Killer!

Today looked like a great day to get my ass up and do something for once... since I've kinda been kicking it at home since Coachella, I've manage to not have any real contact with the outside world.. to be honest I only got in my car to go grab myself a hot dog, I decide to call Lili.. she picks up I ask her if she wants to go get something to eat.. shes down..

So what was my trip down the street to go to weenerzitsal.. became one of Lili & Jen days.. believe me we have had many thru out the years... so I go pick her up I mention lets go to East Side Mario's... it cost... but I was out of the house.. and that meant I was gonna spend money.. that wasn't mine to be spent in the 1st place... I'm so going to hell.. anyways we go there have some awesome BELLA BELLA BELLATINI's... they were pretty drinks and manage to get this gal buzzed... and I only got them because it reminded me of Bella from Twilight... yes I'm a twihard get over it already.

We ended up after having a really nice meal together, going to the Mall an looking around & Lili saw a outfit, that were gonna go back to get on friday, so she can wear to Jimmy Kimmal, shes gonna take me out to breakfest that morning... (we should go to NORM'S Liliana) back to the story I also took Lili to the movies and I wanted, wait for it... see 17 again!!!... it was cute okay... it wasn't the best thing in the world but it did have its moments.. I LIKED IT! and I'm not a shame to say it so... THERE!!!!

we did also manage to sneek into another movie that Seth Rogen one where hes a mall cop. We saw it towards the end, but what I saw was funny, and makes me want to see it from the start.. so I must order it on netflix once it comes out on DVD... oh I forgot to mention that I ran into one of my Shipwreck co workers, he was with his chick, it was a little odd cause he was the one that spotted me and was trying to talk to me... but you could tell he was acting a little strange since he was with his girl, and she was looking at me like who the hell are you lol... its all good, I'm just use to way better hugs from him I'm sure he'll make it up to me, he even gave me his new phone number and I even invited both of them out for my b-day shin-dig whatever that may consist of anyways...

Last we went all the way to another mall cause I wanted to go to yogurt land and it just happen to be where Lili likes to get her eyebrows done... well I never been to that location and when she told me YL was inside the mall I didnt feel like walking around in another mall since we had done that already, so we jumped in my car after she got her eyebrows done.. and drove near by Lilis work to go to the yourtland that its, its own place and yummy it was my 2nd time there and I love it... even one of Lili's co workers stopped by to see us.. and I've met her a few times I was kinda whatever, but this time I really felt her and how good nature she is.. so yeah I like her too now... ((and Lili if you ever want to invite her out to hang with us its cool with me))... and Sexy is no Sexy no more ;)

I'm pretty happy with today... only thing that messed it up.. Lil Kim got kicked off of Dancing With The Stars... this day was almost perfect damnit!

I Like You So Much Better When Your Naked

I'm really sick right now... over eatting will do that... I really need to stop doing that I'm already fat as it is... and using food for comfort is the worst thing you can soooo do, anyways I didn't get to sleep till like 6 this morning I was up late talking to Kyle on the phone.... homeboy calls me out of nowhere cause hes bored and wants to cuddle... yeah thats right!!!!!! I called you out grrrrr... at frist I was a little into it (not the cuddle thing)... then it came to me who he sounds like... SHAUN!... I guess Kyle kinda put it best when he said an I quote "if I sound like someone you know and your not dating him, its not good".... he couldnt be more on point! naw it was cool there was alot of fighting going on between us.. not bad for two people who haven't met each other in person and just know each other because of melo and mutual friends right?... hes a cool guy I guess when hes not being a pain in my ass.

Last night was Cheston brithday party at club dream... I didnt go an from what Damris told me it was a total bust... I kinda learn that when she text me when she was there... awww I feel bad, I was thinking I was gonna get a phone call with Cheston yelling at the top of his lungs saying I did him dirty by not showing up for his little party thing... turns out homeboy was calling people and telling them not to even go cause it was so bad..... that sucks... now because my b-day's in like two weeks... (thats what Amanda tells me).. that means I'm the next brithday shin-dig people are gonna be hitting up.. so now there's hype for mine... great!!!!! last year we went from C man's 21st big ass blow out party to my awesome kick back/ BBQ my best friend in the whole wide world had for me... "YOUR FUCKING AWESOME LILI".. but more to the point, hes thing had my thing beat for days... so now the way shits going down so far with are brithdays. If my thing sucks... damris will make sure I don't forget it!... shes kinda a bitch.. but thats just the way she is, shes the kinda person you gotta get use to and well I'm still getting use to her.

Damn & me went to see Wolverin today and believe me that was a mission in its self, there was so much drama, 1st I wait around most of the afternoon for her then she calls me to tell me, she can't find a babysitter, and I'm like FUCK! and just tell her lets just do something another time... and I could so hear like sadness / regrat towards me... she clears this up by asking me.
"you have a problem with me having a kid"
"no".. "I'm just not use to being around kids"
there was some going back and forth and me just ending up picking up the phone and calling her back & was like alright lets just take the baby and walk around the mall.. in the end she dumped the kid off on her mom and we got to go see Wolverine... and once again I'm thankful I'm happy I never got knocked up... but props to all you young mom's who do what you gotta do.. I'm just to selfish to handle that shit.

so that was my past day or so, if you red this you really need a life <3

I Believe Music Says Alot About A Person

"I wanna make it so easy when you show me the truth..."

Watching Grey's Anatomy... Little girl shot her dad like 17 times.. hardcore stuff... anyways...

Lili says the Swine Flu came from the U.S.
I think it started in Mexico... I dont feel like fighting... but its been on my mind since she said it.. an that was hours ago.. and the convo was only, like a minute long.. hmmm... I know right????

Joshua Fadin "Rather Be With You".. is addicting I must say.

Thinking about pass things... and whoa.. relationship's that aren't really relationship's are just a bunch of hog wash in between.. no matter what you try and convince yourself.. if he an't your boyfriend then its bullshit... yeah you can date.. maybe for like a few months.. but if its been going on for years and you don't got the title of girlfriend... yeah.. no honey.. plus don't try and give me.. but if were not together we can't break up... I manage to pull that one off myself! or the whole I can fuck my cake and eat it to... I get to have this person and still go out and party like its 1999... really, youth is wasted on the young.. and if we dont change are ways, will be dating guys we love forever with out ever asking for the better... me I've been done with that crap for sometime now.. but everyonce in a great while.. I get reminded of it.. maybe cause I notice other peoples relationships and I've done things so close to what they do now... I'm not saying its all the same... I'm not saying, it could be better... but if your so called committed and not seeing other people and only each other, thats pretty much means your boyfriend & girlfriend right?????... then why keep going on with out the title.. then you have the whole debate of "who needs a title".. in the end you can only really please yourself and if your happy then I'm happy for you I guess lol... I don't know its late and my mind finds really odd things to care about come night time.

"I'd rather be a manager and deal with bands then deal with stupid nothing".

Plus I haven't updated my melo with a real post, other then music video's and what not... don't read to much into it.. it all goes back to me and my loveless life in the end.


Kyle The Bassist: i;ve only seen bits and parts at different times
Kyle The Bassist: she looks so hot but not in the pretty way some times
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: kinda the same things happening with me right now lol
Kyle The Bassist: ha you are so hot in a non pretty way?
Kyle The Bassist: i like
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: NO lol
SiC tRaNsIt JeN: I mean.... watching bits of it at times

"Just Like An Angry Kitten That Believes It's A Tiger."

Don't get me wrong I love the movie Twilight... but this was just to good to pass up... hope you enjoy Cheeseburgers!





Kyle The Bassist: people IM me and i am like "bitch! i am talking to jen right now mother fucker!!!"

guestbook

tears4ucrys4me's picture
afterglowvibexo's picture
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Jenn! i am here :) and i've missed you too! how are you love?

-e

xtorturedtangledheartx's picture
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This is Shan (MayYourHeart) I got a new Melo add me back? Thank you. :)

xlilgothicpunkx's picture
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HI!!!!!!!!

jmeb's picture
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why not?

jmeb's picture
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why not?

jmeb's picture
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what happened with your job?

xlilgothicpunkx's picture
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i miss you i need to talk to you im in need of girl talk my heart still feels like its falling out and i dont know what to do =[ he says everything is ok

xlilgothicpunkx's picture
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we worked out everything it ended up i was just being stupid and thats what i hoped the fact would be and it was and im glad im so inlove with him and i honestly dont know what i would do if i ever lost him!!!! i should probably take that post down now tho lol i missssss you not sure how much longer im gonna have the internet since our room mate is supposed to turn it off so it could be any day!! but how are you doing?

fiend_queen's picture
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Thanks! I will for sure add you doll.

jmeb's picture
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jennnnnnnnifeeeerrrr

loserkid_182's picture
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happy melo day

loserkid_182's picture
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it's in my blink182 folder the last entry I believe where im talking about the moment of silence.

fiend_queen's picture
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You're cute.
I voted Amy because I don't like any of them

shamelesssummer's picture
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Happy Meloversary darling!

painstaind's picture
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happy meloversary lady.

mayyourheart's picture
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HAPPY MELOVERSARY! <3

mayyourheart's picture
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That's true. :)

loserkid_182's picture
Re: Theres a DJ spining in the Skies Tonight

it's so sad. :(

blink did a moment of silence for him at their show today I saw it on youtube you can hear mark crying and when they start to play down it sounds all sad tom and mark's voice is all sad and the drums are a bit off.

He was an amazing DJ fuuuck! He always knew the right thing to play.

painstaind's picture
Re: Theres a DJ spining in the Skies Tonight

soooo sad.

just play some jams for him, and drink a beer, i'm sure he'd love it.

mayyourheart's picture
Re: Theres a DJ spining in the Skies Tonight

I posted about him in my journal too it's so sad may he R.I.P. <3

my_apocalypse's picture
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no problem i was hoping to see dj am in vegas one day oh well. by the way awesome with the micheal jackson

jmeb's picture
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AHHH im so upset we missed Matt and Kim!!! >:(

xlilgothicpunkx's picture
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misss you too my room mate moved out and took his computer I just bought a computer its an HP Pavilion i love it but the internet is getting shut off in a few days till jay and i can figure out if we can afford it or not =[

shamelesssummer's picture
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Ohh sounds like a lot of fun, have you been enjoying your summer? Well the ex part doesn't sound fun.. but it's the same here.

I've been well, could be better could be worse I suppose but eh. Lol.

shamelesssummer's picture
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Hey you, long time no talk! Just dropping by to see what's been going on lately.

funnygirl's picture
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and ever!
damn you mj =(

funnygirl's picture
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ya, its sucks
i really like this guy but hes a yo-yo with feelings

love all the mj!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funnygirl's picture
Re: So does a email mean I'm still in the game???

half and half
i know how that goes

watt's picture
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lol nothing really... i just realized i havent really talked to you in a while... in fact ive kinda been just not playing on here much... oh wells. thanks too lol

watt's picture
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herro. :D

kylethebassist's picture
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keep reminding me!!! =)

kylethebassist's picture
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when is conan!?

cookiemonster87's picture
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good to know that you're doing good. as for that person, at least you got to learn some truth about him/her. we meet to wrong people only to find the right one.

cookiemonster87's picture
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hey i hope you're doing great

blind2realitie's picture
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i think you were the one who told me to watch true blood. i did and now im HOOKED beyond belief im still on the first season, but i dig that show. haha thanks for recommending it =]

painstaind's picture
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as i would miss you.

painstaind's picture
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i'm back now... don't worry, hopefully they won't take me.

jmeb's picture
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Dude, I went on your page and the music made me jump

jmeb's picture
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If you loooooooooove me wont you leeet me knooooow

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