trsgrl136

cursed

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Sat.03.20.10 12:32am

I knew I was cursed, I just didn't want to believe it. I wanted hope, hope is a fools dream. I'll never learn. I really am crazy, I keep doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result. Love is only something I can dream about, but It's such a beautiful dream.

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love me love me, say that you love me

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Wed.03.17.10 12:05pm

things aren't working with me and chase...suprise suprise
he could care less about me. needless to say i got a little upset when i realized all of this. i wasn't really sad as much as i was mad that he had been messing with me. the other night he told me he was busy all week and couldn't make any time for me, so i decided i was going to go hang out with jeremy. that night went from sucking to being amazing. we drove to wapato park and got high, then spent the rest of the night driving around kinda randomly. after a while we drove to downtown tacoma and checked out a bunch of grafitti. Then went to Tacoma's water front, we spent a while there before he took me home. we spent the night talking about so much and yet there are still things i want to say and ask. i haven't been that happy in a long time, but i think part of it was the weed lol.

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so i'm not going to be promoted any time soon

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Thu.03.11.10 11:47pm

but that is okay cause i don't care that much anyways. i kinf of knew it wasn't going to happen, there were too many "if"'s involved.
Things with chase are going okay, he says he really likes me but after what happend last time i'm having trouble believing him. i guess time will tell.
I've been trying to schedule a drive test appointment but something keeps comming up when ever i try. If i go in the morning before work the line of people takes too long and i have to leave, or the person who is supposed to drive me down to make the appointment isn't feeling well. i really want to make the appointment for next week but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.

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I'm dating Chase again

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Sat.03.06.10 2:11am

I am but a fool your love spell worked on, so please when you leave leave the pieces and let me be

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If they don't care why should I?

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Tue.01.19.10 8:28pm

i'm tired of my whole family thinking i fail at everything. I'm 19, i don't have my license, i only lived out on my own for about 8 months, i don't pay rent, and my mom is always bitching at me to clean more. I wish I had parents who cared, then maybe i would have tried to get things done in life. My little brother is lucky. My dad is always telling him to do better and always giving him goals, i've never had that. Now that im 19 everyone just bitches at me on how i should be doning better, no one cared before. My mom once told me the though of giving me up for adoption and instead of feeling hurt like most kids should i started wishing she had, then i might have know what having parents was like. I am the way that I am becuse no one ever cared.

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Tare me apart and put me back together please

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Thu.01.14.10 2:52am

Well I never ended up being his pin pal, I lost his address. Alwell. I started hanging out with john recently, and we have kissed a few times. I like him but I recently found out that now every one would be happy about us together, and I don't want to do that to them. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. It's still early enough that we could just be friends, and I think I may need to do that... I don't know what to do.
I've been getting fewer hours a work so I may need to get a second part time job, witch is going to suck.
Antonio's bitch decided she was going to text me, and talk a bunch of crap. She pissed me off. I was trying to be nice to Antonio and stay neutral so I didn't have to screw him over, but he can thank his big mouth for telling her shit about me, and her pissing me off, for me not caring anymore. He has five months to pay me back the money he owes me. Oh yeah, he's being demoted too hahahahahaha
I feel good every time I say that. Antonio is being demoted :) I really do get a smile on my face every time that doesn't go away for three minutes lol
Anyways. I can't stop thinking about Jeremy and how good the sex was, I've been thinking about it for about a week now. I think it’s just because it’s been a while. But damn was it good. My sexual apatite is starting to die down now though, it was just a tough week. Jeremy started texting me again today, asked if I wanted to hang out. If I do hang out with him it will be to make music, I don't want to have sex with a guy I could never like. He may have amazing sex skills but out of bed I don't like him that much.
Well I think that’s the end of my rant folks.

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new pin pal

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Thu.12.10.09 1:47am

things with me and jeremy didn't work out, he got back together with his ex. but good news: i have a pin pal now, i need to get the mailing address from kearsta. I met this guy at work, i don't remember his name, but he was talking to us about how he didn't really have anyone here so now im his pin pal. i've never had a pin pal before so im kinda exited.
on other news, im not sure if im going to start college this comming semester, i might wait until next due to lack of funds and i should probably get a car so i don't have to take the bus.

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new friend

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Sun.11.29.09 12:22am

so thanksgiving was pretty good, the relitives didn't show up. stanley, lynn, and my grandparents came over. my mom made the best turkey i have ever tasted, i just ate a sandwitch with turkey and stuffing and it was amazing. thanksgiving eve and thanksgiving morning i hung out with jeremy, he drank that night and then decided to drink milk so i was taking care of him. it was cute. i think im starting to like him so i may have to talk to him about it and probably end it if he doesn't want anything serious... i don't know if im starting to like him or if i just like having him there, i really like cuddling with him. i don't want to talk to him about it too early.
i spent the night at kearsta's house last night, she is my assistant manager. she is really cool, has some issues but they have made her smart and strong. i think we are going to be good friends. we stayed up untill 2 in the morning talking, it was really nice cause i havn't had a friend that is a girl to hang out and talk with. i can tell she is lonley since her husband is in iraq so its working out for both of us.

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thanksgiving tomorrow

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Thu.11.26.09 12:23am

i am not looking forword to thanks giving...
i have to wake up and help cook witch isn't that bad, but my aunt is comming over with all of her kids. i hate being related to them, i wish i never had to see them again. i wanted to see if i could go to Diana's house for thanks giving but its too late to talk to my mom about it now. i think im going to hide in my room while they are here.
my grandma's coming over though, thats always fun. i didnt get along with my grandma a few years ago but how that i don't see her as much we get along better and i find her quite entertaining now. lynn's comming over for thanks giving tomorrow, my mom had invited her a few weeks prier and i though her family wasn't doing anything so i didn't want to be mean and not let har have anywhere to go. come to find out her family is doing thanks giving but she just wants to come here because she doesn't like her brothers girlfriend. im going to try not talking to her after tomorrow and see if she will just leave me alone.
this entry is so negative... i hate that
something positive... im getting paid soon! christmas is comming! im going to save up for a car after christmas! i'm going to start school soon!

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an end to lynn may come soon

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Tue.11.24.09 2:54am

i don't know how much longer i can put up with lynn, she has been driving me nuts the last couple of years and its getting worse. she is pregnant now and with that comes 10x more drama. i want to tell her to go away and that i don't want to be her friend but at the same time i don't want her to cry. i may not want to be her friend but i dont want to hurt her feelings. even if i did tell her i don't want to be her friend and i tell her why i know she would argue with me and tell me how she would change, and if she does that i dont know what to say to her. i know she won't change, but if i tell her that and just leave i know that would hurt her.
i just wish there was another way for me to end our friendship with out hurting her.
maybe i'll be stuck with her forever...
anyways. things are going good with me and jeremy so far. im setting him and will up to play music together cause jeremy needs a drumer, and while i have both of them there im going to see if the three of us can do maps by the yeah yeah yeahs. i know my voice isn't that good but i think it would be awesome to record something and listen to it.
im suposed to start school at pierce college in january but i still have to go and do some paperwork. i need to do it soon.

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inbetween

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Fri.11.20.09 3:15am

i can't believe how much i wrote about thomas in the past hahahaha
if someone told me i would feel this way about him now i would have said no way.
anyways. im still a little sore about what happened with antonio, im still getting over him little by little but i think im far enough along to start finding a new boyfriend. i was dating chase for a little bit, then i gave stanley a shot but they just wern't right. i think if i tried really hard i could have made it work with chase but i don't think you should have to try that hard to keep things going. im dating a guy named jeremy now, still getting to know him. there are things i really like about him, things that even antonio didn't do, like make sure im warm and if im cold he would cuddle with me. antonio though that when i was cold it was anoying and he wouldn't want to touch me most of the time. but there are things i don't like about him as well but im still trying to figure out if they are an every once in a while thing or an all the time thing, if they are an all the time thing then i think that will be a deal breaker and i'll need to start looking for someone new. im working at the fort lewis gamestop now so maybe i could find a millitary guy next if this doesn't work out. one thing i've learned from other people though is to never date an active duty solder.
i hope things work out with jeremy

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one year and some odd months later...

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Wed.05.27.09 3:34pm

omg its been forever hehe
i broke up with Thomas over a year ago and was dating a guy names Antonio but he broke up with me last month. Antonio and i dated for a year and alot of shit happened at the end that ill go into later. Basicley he is dating a new chick now and i want to bash her head into the wall right now. but i think i'll just have to settle with driving her crazy by doing the shit she did to me back to her and flirt with Antonio. I feel evil : )

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school

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Sat.09.01.07 10:50pm

i miss my friends and i want to get school to be done with. i want to be 18 so bad! i dono though, maybe im putting too much into being out of school. me and Thomas are planning on moving in together as soon as we can witch will probably be around the time of the end of the school year and that is what im looking forward to the most. to get away from this house and see Thomas when ever i want, i dont think anything could make me happier. although it would be nice to learn how to spell better lol. i wonder if we are really going to though sometimes, it seems like he might be changing his mind and just might live in a dorm at whatever college he goes to. if he does im probably going to move out still and find a place with a friend if i can find some one else to move out with me. it sucks thinking i might be stuck here any longer but the more it looks like he wants to live in a dorm the more it looks like im going to be living here.
P.S. my summer school is done and i didn't have to buy and extention for any of it.

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the things kailey and i talk about...

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Sun.07.15.07 9:25pm

trsgrl136 (9:07:10 PM): i love you
Babykk2008 (9:07:16 PM): i love you too. lol
trsgrl136 (9:07:35 PM): omg
Babykk2008 (9:07:40 PM): ...
trsgrl136 (9:07:55 PM): i want to have your babys
trsgrl136 (9:07:56 PM): lol
Babykk2008 (9:08:05 PM): at least someone does. shit.
Babykk2008 (9:08:08 PM): haha.
trsgrl136 (9:08:14 PM): lol

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this weekend

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Tue.06.12.07 8:02pm

i went to my dads house, it was fun. saw oceans 13. it was ok. i like 12 better.

I really really really really really miss thomas...

im supose to see him thursday. i really miss him. wish i could see him now. im also going to see him saturday.
my mom is throughing me a family birthday party, witch i didnt want. alwell. i just really want to see thomas.

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todays conclutions

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Tue.06.05.07 6:56pm

i need more sleep. i need to get out.

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whats new?

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Mon.03.19.07 10:47pm

im going out with thomas, spencer is back, and i think josh and i arnt talking anymore.

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tennis is kicking my ass!

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Thu.03.08.07 9:46pm

so im on varsity witch is awsome but the work out is killing me, i didnt know i was that out of shape. my serve is good and i play pretty well but the warm ups kill me. she has us run around different areas then we run a 9ft space back and forth about a hundred times crouched down and going as fast as we can. we never had to do this last year. as a snowboarder i have good calfs but it just wears you out.

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update on the dad

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Mon.02.12.07 6:33pm

well i still only get to see him in gaps but it is like a little vacation when i do, in fact i could use a little vacation right about now. nothing much has changed with me at home exept i work at orange julious now so i get a couple days out of the week i dont have to be home. i joined tennis last year and am going to do it again this year if i remember to get my paper work in, so thats almost every day after school i dont have to go home. i have late nights for news paper now but thats only once every other month sometimes once a month but it mainly depends on when the next issue comes out. things are looking better since i dont have to be home as much but then there are all the pressures of everything else i'm doing.

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(no title)

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Wed.08.10.05 12:47am

trsgrl136: i love you
VictimsInDemand: and i love you my dear.
trsgrl136: does that mean you love me like a dear...
trsgrl136: lol
VictimsInDemand: deer?
trsgrl136: yes
trsgrl136: lol
trsgrl136: so...
trsgrl136: do you love me like a deer?
VictimsInDemand: maybe
trsgrl136:
VictimsInDemand: i'll hit you with my car
VictimsInDemand: like a deer
trsgrl136: ok
trsgrl136: then i'll bite you and give you rabezz
trsgrl136: and then you wont be able to spell like me
VictimsInDemand: yes...

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(no title)

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Tue.07.19.05 1:27pm

i love talking to matt, he is so interesting:

Tasha says: hold on
Matthew says: why
Matthew says: i guess ill just talk to my self
Matthew says: hi
Matthew says: hi
Matthew says: how are you
Matthew says: im fine
Tasha says: sad
i went to lynn's house yesterday and am going again today. she is going to help me put the pic.s up if her brother comes home... well ttfn

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Trsgrl136's Melo Quick Entry

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Sat.07.09.05 2:16am

I wish I had a dollar for every stupid thing I've done...I think I would be a millionaire. I think I could make a poll out of that. How many stupid things have you done this year?

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Trsgrl136's Melo Quick Entry

Submitted by trsgrl136 on Sun.02.27.05 10:57pm

Okay, so now I have a Xanga and a Livejournal. My Xanga is frkydekydutch, and my Livejournal is usemytears. Sign my guestbooks and all that junk please.
p.s. take my poll