Well. Guess what? I have a job. Im working. lol. It a retail store called Tuesday mornings. Its a nce little place. My manager likes me, because Im a 'hard worker' I just can't stand for things to be messy unless they're supposed to be like that. Theyre not. But yeh. everything has been mostly copesetic. Fishing was awesoe. I caught the most fish. lol. Dean was like you didn't go fishing you went bassin' and then you went catching. I feel in the lake and got bitten by and effin spider. Hurt so bad. IM so sad and lonely. Lately Ive been just wanting to back on the zoloft. Scary huh? Maybe I wont cause so much trouble then. But yeh. Im scarred. I am destined to be the black sheep in my family. I know it. I just want so much more that is written in the stars for me. I want to change my stars.Im in a band. lol. I sing. With the microphone cord wrapped around my neck. Stole that technique from someone I love. So funny how you want to be your own person and yet you borrow the little things from those around you.

mmm. Baking cookies. May go out with EVA tonite. Lala. Went to the park yesterday. Played soccer and layed back to look at the sky. Eva got trashed. I was all messed up. We were so goofy, it was so much fun. Yeh. Gonna hang out with someone new tommorrow. This guy that Eva and I met at the jacuzzi. His name is nick, he's from england and he's over here on a soccer scolarship.

Cool. Anyways. I need a job. Anyone hiring? mm. I want a Ipod. I know. But I want one. so much easier than carrying around 1098376376timestwo cds so yeh. But yeh. Thats what I want for my birthday. Ill be 18.

More tonite. Maybe. If youre good.

Went to specs. They're not accepting applications. SO I bought a new copeland cd. Gonna hang with eva. more later. Heart


My kota baby

Im so not happy with having a vagina right now. Im having mongo horrible cramps and In got a therma care wrapped around my wait that makes me look like im wearing diapers. lol. But it makes me feel better. Seems to be the only thing helping. I had really bad vertigo last night, complete with the hurling and crying and shaking. So today I spent rolling around of the couch and listening to loud led zeppelin. I think the most Ive done today is unload the dishwasher and roll a joint. Thats about it. Pretty crappy day tho, the nichole calls and asks me if Ive put in the application for specs yet and I said, no, I feel like Im about to die. She was all like wellyouhavetodoitbeforealltheotherpeopletryandgetjobs. Or I won't have a job. My family is obsessed with me getting a job. I guess they think it'll stop my partying. But hmmmm. I dunno.

Im so scared. Tomorrow is my graduation. My aunt hasn't called to confirm that shes going or not. and I feel really nervous. I left a message on my cousin's cell and never got an answer. I have to get these tickets to them and give them directions, so this is getting pretty messy. Mom hasn't called. noone has, no cards or nothing. I guess they really do hate me. There wasn't even a discussion if they were gonna come down or not when I told them when it was. Its a once in a lifetime thing. Then my sister is bitching about how she has to skive off work so she can go. That got me all fired up, I was like if you don't wanna come fine, even tho I went to yours, even tho I am your only little sister, and even tho noone else will be there to support me, so shut the fuck up and I walked out. After that we had an unspoken agreement to not talk about it. Im kinda glad, Im mean I only snapped at her because Im so stressed Im about to wrench all of the hair out of my head. It almost like this has become everybody elses thing but mine and its my graduation. My [step]sister took charge of where we're going for dinner that night and that ticks me off, because I wanted to go to jack bakers, but thats in vero, so its a drive, then we were like, bimini breeze, but that didn't work out either, so she chose something totally differnt, and it's one of the resturants that I don't like. Nobody asked my opinion. Nothing. Im just like whatever, lets just get it over with. Im really starting to get angry. Not angry just really frustrated I guess, with this whole thing, my family not coming, noone caring, it's like, I don't matter now, Im just one of three girls and two boys and I matter the least because Im the problem child. The standards are different with me.


Anyways, yeh that just a little peak into the crazyness that is currently my life. Lalala. You should have seen the look on my fathers face when I was talking about my piercings. lol, It was so effin funny.

Whoa. this has been crazy. But school is finally done, so grad practice tomm. then Im chillaxin with Eva, mah home chickadee. Anyways, yeh, hit me up, Im free now! Done with my ghettoness.

Rode PalmTran for the first time today. it was cool, saw some people that I knew and then made some new friends, lol. I rode it about 4 times or an equivalnt of about 3 hours. It's not as fun as I thought it would be. Walked from military trail to here, which is like 5 miles. took me an hour. it sucked. I was all sweaty and nasty when I got home, but I spent some time with bart and ben, and it was all cool. So yeh. Im glad to be home though. It seems that I wanna be home with my family rather then some people. Its cool that I can hang with my family. I went to see my Nana today had a nice visit. I walked there too. Ahhhh. I did a hell of alot of walking today. 'These boots were made for walkin' and that's what they're gonna do, Cause on of these days these boots will walk all over you.' Too bad all Ill wear are my vans or busted adidas...

[x] : Si | [] : Nein

[x] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[]I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[] I am for Bush.
[] I listen to political music.
[] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news.
[]I own over 5 rap CDs.
[] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I love Disney Movies
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes
[x] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly.
[] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[x] I love Spam.
[]x I bake well.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[] I own something from Abercrombie.
[] I have a job.
[] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love with love.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[x] I smoke a pack a day.
[] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x]I am really ticklish.
[] I see a therapist.
[] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me.
[] I play video games.
[x] I'm single.
[] I'm in a relationship
[x] Gotten lost in your city.
[x] Saw a shooting star
[x]Been to any other countries besides the Australia
[x] I Had a serious Surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] I have Kissed a Stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[x] Been in a fist fight
[x] Been arrested
[x] Laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] Made out in an elevator
[x] Swore at your parents
[x]Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Been close to love
[] Been to a casino
[] Been skydiving
[] Been bungee jumping
[x] Broken a bone
[x] Skipped school
[x] Flashed someone
[x] Saw a therapist
[] Done the splits
[x] Played spin the bottle
[x] Gotten stitches
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten someone
[] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Kissed a member of the same sex
[] Crashed into a friend's car
[] Been to Japan
[] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted
[] Been fired
[x] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
[] Stole something from your job
[] Gone on a blind date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on a teacher
[] Celebrated mardigras in New Orleans
[] Been to Europe
[] Slept with a co-worker
[] Been married
[] Gotten divorced
[] Had children
[x] Saw someone dying
[] Been to Africa
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been to Canada
[] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[] Thrown up in a bar
[x] Eaten Sushi
[x] Been snowboarding
[x] Been Skiing
[x] Met someone in person from the internet
[] Been to a moto cross show
[] Lost a child
[] Gone to college
[] Graduated college
[x] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[x] Had someone cheat on you
[x] Miss someone right now

That's what Im called now. It started in guard, and now has continued to florida. Yes, as most of you don't know I now live in florida. West palm to be exact. I was kicked out of my house after my mother got sick and things have just gone to hell. I lived on my best friend's living-room floor, and went to school, made straight a's might I add, then sadly it all came crashing down whne my best friends lied to me, and I found out about it, I never told her about it, but yeh, I was getting sick of it, so I moved in with my dad. Im good now....


HAPPY 4:20 EVErYBODY!!!!!!!


And Im out....

And I lift my hands and PRAY
TO BE ONLY YOURS
To be only yours
I know now
You're my only hope....


At the Top of my lungs....


Im singing right now, I wish you could here me, I like to sing, not only in the shower, and when Im holding someone, but in the car and during class. I get losts of complements. Now they know why I want to be on broadway. I miss Jen And ny Danni-kins. Ive written so many loving words about the both of you. About looking up to Jen and being fully in love with My Danni girl in her white sun-dresses and Brite red sunglasses. School is okay, my mum is dying thats why MH is my life anymore. Things are harder, I had to grow up fast, and I hate it.

I just wanna move out and have someone take care of me for a change, I just need time....

My outercourse activity is snuggling!


Which Sexual Outercourse Act Are You? (with pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

Last night, Megan stopped by and we watched a movie, we’re gonna go out tonite and catch a movie, *sighs* Im bored out of my mind and Ive got more cleaning to do. Yeh

Well, let’s see here, since when has melo been so mean to me, last week. *giggles* But I don’t care, at least I can now say HI to all of my favourite Melo-rockers.

School’s been okay, I don’t have any classes that require any major homework, or none at all, which is good because my days are really sucky. Monday I hyper-extended my left knee and fucked my hip up in gym, so I haven’t marched since monday morning.

1st block
Multimedia (it’s a business class that majors in video production.)
2nd block
Colourguard (I get to get all sweaty and run around -.-)
3rd block
Advanced keyboarding (another business class)
4th block
Gym

So basically I don’t change out of my gym clothes. I get all sweaty, so Im not too thrilled with that, but hopefully Ill be more buff by the end of season, my first game is this friday, which is aweseom. I have a mixture of emotions about it, Im excited and I want it to hurry up, I want that adrenaline rush, but them Im scared that Ill fuck up, of Ill fall or my knee will fuck up again, and Ill lay in the middle of the field crying.

Classes are okay, drama has started again, and Ive been off pot for a month now, thats because prices have increased and my down time has decreased. Joy is no more. Not talking about it, ask Jen, she’ll tell you. I saw Matt last weekend, we had a big talk and I feel alot better about some things.

My ex girlfriend is getting all upset and things are getting crazy and people are stabbing eachother in that back, it’s just pure madness, and Im really trying to keep out of it, but I always get drug into it.

Danni is awesome, she’s the sex, and if anyone has anything other to say, take it up with me, she is MY woman, and I love her muchly, she donsen’t lie to me or tell me ’she grew out of it’ and I miss her. and Jennifer Mae, so Ill let you all go and get on with the misery that is the world. *KISSES*

I miss you Danni-kins, and Ive never forgot you, I think about you all the time. I miss my Matt too and joy.

Anywho, my birthday was okay, I got high with a group of friends and we had a bunch of laughs and such. But other than that, it’s rained and practice sucks and stuff. Lala, anywho, I dunno what else to say

Love knows no boundaries