well i'm back on melo. havn't been on in ages. but this past year has been very stressful, not only for me but everyone who is close to me. i got into using that fucking drug meth, now it seems like everyone is using it.. but anyway, i got busted, a couple of times, and now i'm in something called prop 36. it has been created due to the overcrowded jails. so i guess i'm fortunate, if it were'nt for this counsling program, i'd probably still be in jail.. my sentence was for about a year.

anyway, i'm coming up on 6 months sober. physically i'v been clean and sober, but mentally i'm still really fucked up. i've been going to AA and NA meetings but i just can't get into it. working the steps, getting a sponcor, and KEEPING it. i had one i just never called. i probably should have.

i've now realized, it's not the drugs or alcohol that was the problem, it's me. i have been the problem. drugs just seemed like the solution. but now, i need to find different, and sane solution.

bull shit is still going on with my dad, and i've been short with everyone who really cares about me. it's time to get my life straight. now that i'm off drugs i can focus on the real problems.

i'm enrolled in 16 units at mt. sac community college, which is starting tomorrow. plus work, plus 4 days of counsling at prop 36. no matter how many people say i need to drop some classes, i'm going to prove them wrong and DO IT!

thanks to whoever is taking the time to read this.
i know i sound like a crazy motherfucker here.... but if you have a problem with drugs/alcohol, especially with speed... and you are struggling to stay clean, please take to me, if not me, someone!