ive been out and about and away from my melo for almost 2 years... but now since everyone seems to have this myspace bullshit, i feel like i should be doing something too. not that it really matters, but i always liked the melo community ne ways... but im back and prolly will post when i get the chance and shit. but i think all the people i used to kno on here dont actually post ne more, which sux in itself. i need to get a pic up too... yea yea, random. blah.

my life is such a mess right now. work sucks when ur a waitress at pizza hut. i helped one of my now friends(?) out by getting him a job, and it kinda sux. cuz i used to get all the "can u come in for an extra shift on ur day off" calls and now i get the "can *name of friend* come in to work" calls. i dont kno how it happened either. and this guy, man.... ooooo hes sooo... ahhhhh!!! he just confuses the hell outta me! cuz he wanted to date me, but hes obsessed with his ex. more than obsessed. pick a word thats more than obsessed..... thats him. and he said he wanted to be with me... but that i would have to be okay when hes with her... yea, cuz i would LOVE for the guy im with who is suppossed to love me to be cuddling with his ex under a blanket right next to me... while im alone on a chair cold cuz they're using my blanket... gah!

guys suck.. not to offend the awesome guys on this planet, cuz i kno ur out there... but some guys are just dicks... i hate this town...

i got poned (if thas how u spell it) by canadian joe the other day... we went punch for punch with a little twist... for each of his punches, i got 3!! and he still kicked my ass lol... i got a nice sized bruise on my arm.... but thas about all i gotta say now.... oh, except i got a letter from roman.. but thats for another time...

i think ive finally found the guy... the one i could picture myself with... he’s a ren. faire boy, and hes adorable... and sweet... and funny... and overally, he’s just perfect... *sighs* -meow-

dude, ernie is kinda outta control... he apparently just stops by whenever... (my mom said he stopped by today while i was out) and he came by so early the other day that he woke me up!! which is soooo not cool... and now im confused... darrin asked liz out and im kinda scared for her... cuz he’s not the best person... hes cute and shit, but thats about it... and im worried he’ll only use her... which i dont want... i got kinda irritated at lizzie today... she called me today to ask me for a ride to cool beans to see darrin... like im a fuckin taxi... i was kinda glad that i cant use the car til sunday... got a ride home from rob, and i swear i wanna jump him with his lip ring.. soooo cute... lol... but seriously, i found out more about my sweetie roman today... i saw aj at the mall and found out roman got out of clearbrook and is at a halfway house til november... too bad its still in pa!!! damnit, other state (kinda) far away!!! grrr.... i miss him soooooooo much!! and i havent seen him in sooo long... u kno what i hate tho? everyone telling me whats good for me... like how jeff, jeff, brandon, kris, and everyone else who knos roman tell me he’s no good for me.. its like hey, fuck off, i can make my own decisions!!! damn everyone who tells me what i have to do... and SKOOL SUX!!!!!!!!!! -meow-

im all confused... should i choose brandon?? guy?? jeff?? ahhhhhhh someone help me!!!!! -meow-

so i might be goin to dan’s party if i can find an excuse my mom will buy... i have a feeling the truth wont go over so well... but its just a theory.... but i had a cool night, hung with the canadian all day and washed out most of my dreds (yea, i had dreads for a bit... still got yoshi’s beautiful one in) but im gonna get a call now so bbye!! -meow-

WOW, I HAD THE BEST NIGHT!!! after the pool party thingy with joe and parents and their friends and crap, me and joe went to jeff’s and we ended up at kool beans with me, canadian joe, jeff, and ariel (i dunno how to spell his name) and after talking to jay (who i thought id never see again!!) jay started doing something which i cant say til tuesday cuz liz dont know yet hehe... but then yoshi, jeff, malik, and some other random people started in and it was like a group *thing* orgy (cant say orgy of what yet, sorri) and after prolly 2 hours it was mostly done... so now i have *THINGS!!!* hehe... but im hopefully gonna fix ’em this week with their help again and look AMAZING!! but i dont know how the parents are gonna react... but oh well, everyone loved them... and theyre really REALLY awesome.... jay was like "dude, theyre amazing, can i marry you?" i luv that kid (lol i say kid when hes older than me hehe) but ok, thas it with the cryptic entry, so lata!! and you’ll all find out my little secret TUESDAY!!!! -meow-

yea, it still sucks.... life might actually suck... and blow... at the same time!! holy shit, thought only talented creatures could accomplish this... oh well... i miss roman!! and im FUCKING SICK OF EVERYONE TELLING ME HES NO GOOD FOR ME!!!! chris, the same chick who tells me shes looking out for me by telling me how bad an idea it is to date roman, is spreadin the lie that im an easy slut around.... yea, she’s a great fuckin trustworthy friend! guess whos not gonna be there for her anymore? and fuck brandon... he can take this little makeover shit hes planning and shove it up his lying little mexican ass... lyin and then callin me a liar for tellin the truth... what a dick! him and jeff always gotta start shit, and theyre just fucking assholes... i wish someone would teach them first off how to treat chicks, and secondly how to NOT be an asshole... yea, brandon tryin to sweet talk me and say how he wants to be sweet around me... and then lyin to james and callin me a fuckin liar... (yo, that bitch is lyin!)... yea, its not a good idea to fuck with me, i hold grudges and can be the real bitch when i need to be... i got kinda irritated at james tonight.... its like he really wants to do what he wants, but no one else matters... i had to call people to fix shit when he wanted me to.... he has to have shotgun in my car and fiddle around with my settings.... theyre my settings and they’re where they are for a reason, dont fuck with it! i mean, fuck!! cant people even let me listen to my own music in my own car? im nice enough to transport everyone to where they want without always askin for gas money, so they better listen to whats in or walk... its like, hey, dont take out my cd and put your shit in unless i say you can!! talk about lack of respect... why dont u just insult my taste, a direct reflection of me, a little more... its kinda irritating that when im in a mood and wanna listen to a certain cd in MY CAR, i cant cuz either james dont like that specific dope cd or mike the douchebag dont like late october... and i prefer people not to insult the bands i like in front of me... and calling LATE OCTOBER late "november" is an insult... theyre not hanging around dissin ur band, so back off... jeez, the real thing that pissed me off... i finally agreed to go see a movie after james and i kinda made plans to see the new freddy movie (its ok, i shoulda waited til it came on hbo, waste of money) and since i havent really slept in 2 days i brought everyone back to the mall and told james i was gonna drop him off and then go home... and he starts telling me i cant because its friday and its too early... i was ready to flip a shit, but i dont like causin trouble too much, so i was just like eh im fine for the rest of the night... then he wants me to go interrupt richards party so he can talk to liz... uh, can you say RUDE?!? but he didnt understand how it was rude... jesus, am i just weird or is that not quite rude? (situation: richard is leaving monday for a year in a colorado college and his goodbye party was tonight) yes, its rude... and i really didnt feel like schlepping aaaaalllllllllll the way to allendale to come all the way back to be home within 45 minutes... thats practically the ride there and back! plus, when i cant reach liz after calling her to humor him and i tell him im taking him home, he gives me an attitude and says "oh, i shoulda gone with rob" in a nasty tone... that almost made me pull over and tell him to walk his ass home... but i smiled my little fake smile, grinded my teeth as always, and just drove... which ended up being me driving his ass to ridgewood to say hi to rob, melissa, joe, and the other people in robs driveway for a second before making me drive him home.... jeez, am i a taxi now? cuz if i am, i should start charging.... "heathers taxi, how may i help u?" and he doesnt know why im agitated, though he kept askin if i was ok, which annoyed me cuz i was answering "im fine" at least two to three times every 2 minutes... jeez, i cant wait to see roman... maybe ill be allowed to go visit him some time soon.... like, in the summer.... cuz i miss him.... sooooooo much... oh, i dunno if i mentioned it before or not, but its only ok for lizzie to make cd change requests in my car because she earned the privlege... and contrary to chris’s beliefs, which annoy me to NO END, i do NOT envy liz, do not try to look like her, am not jealous of her, or anything else to that type of extent... chris is just talking out of her ass, and thats whats gonna get her in trouble in addition to talkin shit about her "friends" when theyre not there... heres the question of the day: how can a virgin be a slut? cuz apparently chris said im a slut! so whatever... oh well... and james owes me a pack of stoges... i gave him a 20 for 2 buy 1 get 1s and got no change when 6 shoulda come back at me... but he got a pack of djarm so it must be all good... goddamnit, why do people gotta steal from a poor bitch? enough rants tonight... except: I MISS ROMAN!!!! -meow-

took the stupid summer skool final today... hope i managed to do well and pass for the "year" with an A so i can get my tattoo... the stupid teacher wouldn’t even give me my damn grade today! he had them all written down and shit, but he was like no, wait until tomorrow! what an asshole! grrrr.... i wanna go to ray’s sunday, but i dunno if i can.... but maybe.... ya never know.... -meow-

I am 74% Goth

Oh My Goth! You Goth, Girl. There is a good chance I am bi. Freakiness pumps through my viens, but I can still laugh at myself.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com

I am the number 666 I am evil _

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa

i think mark is mad at me... prolly cuz he sed so... but it was such a great nite!! i dont kno what happened... well yea i do... hes always complaining about when we’re at the mall... hes sez hes bored... well then dont come with me!! goddamn...i mean, really! if u dont like it, ur house is practically 5 minutes away walking... go home! but dont bitch to me... jeez... he bought a huge bag of toys (which he was made fun of for at the mall) and i called him mom and told her... its not a big deal! so he goes and tells my dad that i was smokin at the mall... and that i have jack daniels in my bag! which is worse?? i think its obvious... but maybe thas just me... jeez, and i had such a great time at the mall... hangin with my mallrat buddies... what a downer... he kept sayin i hate u... but he just needs to cool down... in other news, aaron is more like a brother than a boyfriend-type guy... i doubt we’ll go out... oh well, there goes another prospect... WHY CANT I DIE?!?

so mike comes over for the much anticipated good-bye night... i shouldnt have even bothered... he brings shana and expects us to hook up... and he says hes not tryin for her anymore even tho he likes her, but he said he cant kiss me in front of her cuz he dont wanna "hurt her" and he kissed her in front of me!! so i guess i dont have any feelings or i guess he just doesnt give a fuck... goddamnit, i swear, i should give up on boys and go for girls... in other news, im a temporary red head (gotta love color in a box!!) and im gonna get madd money from work... 8.50 an hour for workin... and i only get paid 2 times a month... but its mucho money-o... haha, stupid i kno... but meow... and i might be gettin a tattoo in a month!! a tattoo of the triquetra (think that thing on the Book of Shadows from Charmed) on my mid lower back... gonna be spiffy... oh, i met "spiffy joe" (jeez, i kno a million joes!!) -- (canadian, groovy, spiffy, hippy, from car) fuck man!! u kno what pisses me off about mike? he uses my ADHD against me the way chris used to use my tickle-ish-ness against me... thats one of the only things that pissed me off about chris... oh, and the fact he went a week without brushing his teeth... eeewwww!! i even bought him a toothbrush! (i got a purple one... i paid, i chose the color! hehe) oh, thinkin of chris brings a smile to my face... i miss him... but meow... holy shit, ive gone so long without making a quiz entry haha... well now that im equally pissed and happy (thinking of mike feeling up shana in my house while demanding i hook up with her while kissing her vs. chris memories...) damn, thinkin of chris makes me think of dimitri... and some other boyz... hehe... good times, good times... DAMN MY LIFE!! WHY AM I TORMENTED BY BEING FORCED TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING?!? SOMEONE KILL ME AND GET IT OVER WITH!!! BUT JUST ONE REQUEST - DO IT QUICKLY, IM NOT MUCH FOR A PAINFUL DEATH...

mike’s really leaving the day after tomorrow... saturday at 9am... im really sad about it... im gonna miss my goth buddie... hes really sweet and i really will miss him... hes all i can currently think about... at least mostly... *ADD* - oh, dave just came online... im kinda happy hes not still pissed at me (thanks for the insight canadian joe!!) but im gonna go so i can *happily* discuss lawyers and cars with my mother... (cock sucking motherfucking punk-ass bitch) -meow- *FEEL BETTER LIZZY!!!!!*